• After eating the brains of an honor student, the zombie will be no smarter.

  • Is running away and joining the circus still a thing?

  • From a Stones Throw

    To look at it on a map, it doesn’t seem all that long, but to actually put an oar in the river…well that became a whole other thing. Laughlin, Nevada is hot and larger than one might think and very few of her citizen’s are interested in helping anyone simply hiking through, which was the…

  • Arbored Revenge

    “Wow! Great shot!” exclaimed Rob. “If that old tree were a bear, you’d have killed it deader than it already is.” “Thanks,” Arnie smiled. “Enough of this target practicing though. I’m ready for the real deal.” “Yeah, let’s go get ourselves a bear.” The two men stood, slinging their rifles over their shoulders before starting…

  • Geronimo’s Bones

    The truck pulled into the store’s parking lot and I hopped out of the bed. The couple waved as they returned to the highway and then made a sharp left off the pavement and onto a dirt road that disappeared somewhere in the radiating waves of heat. With my rucksack on one shoulder, I adjusted…

  • Poor Thomas’ Almanac for December 18: In 1719, Thomas Fleet published “Mother Goose’s Melodies For Children.” We’re still waiting for the Kanye West album to drop.

  • Before I drink almond milk, someone needs to show me the teets on a nut.

  • Remember that sound your father’s belt made as he ripped it from his loops, intent on giving you a whipping? Believe me — not a good time to pants him and run.

  • Yes, I have a dirty mind and no, you may not wash my brain.

  • Tale of the Garden Spade

    My wife says I’m a terrible person and who knows, she may be right. A friend came over for a visit and while we were sitting at our dining table, drinking coffee, he asked, “Do you have a bathroom?” I smiled, got up and pulled a garden spade from the kitchen drawer where we keep…