After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem and asked, “Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star when it rose and have come to worship him.” When King Herod heard this, it disturbed him and…

Poor Thomas’ Almanac for December 25: In 1776, George Washington broke New Jersey law by crossing the Delaware River from Pennsylvania to the Garden State with unregistered guns.

Spreading love by way of Facebook is like spreading herpes the old fashioned way.

A friend posted a picture of a bunch folks on Facebook with the title: ‘Richest People on Earth.’ Note to self — I was not in the photograph.

Bill Gates is paying off Nigeria’s 76-million dollar debt to Japan and it all began with an email from a ‘Nigerian prince.’

The four of us sat and chatted for another hour, Mandi without her top, until the coffee was gone and our tongues tired. I excused myself after offering to help clean up and being refused, and returned to my little spot in the sand. After dozing on and off for a couple of hours, I grabbed…

Poor Thomas’ Almanac for December 24: Today is International Gristle Day. I know it’s a tough one to chew and even tougher to swallow.

My neighbor likes his cars like he likes his women — old and leaking.

Never let a good fart go to shit.

So much for 2018 as I can no longer mark myself as safe from ‘Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.’