Tale of the Garden Spade

My wife says I’m a terrible person and who knows, she may be right. A friend came over for a visit and while we were sitting at our dining table, drinking coffee, he asked, “Do you have a bathroom?”

I smiled, got up and pulled a garden spade from the kitchen drawer where we keep some of our smaller household tools and handed it to him.

“What the hell’s this for?” he asked.

“It’s to dig a hole in the ditch in the back yard,” I answered, “where you can take a crap if that’s what you need to do.”