My Cousin Elmo says, “It would be fun if Elon Musk, the new owner of Twitter, changed the bird logo from blue to red, jus’ so we could see a few heads explode.”

Perhaps I ought to pay a bit more attention to how I ask a question. The other morning I heard my wife pass air. Then she came down the hall only to do something not in her nature. “Whew!” she announced. “I have bad gas.” “Where do you think it came from?” I asked, wanting…

The tension was palpable that late morning. Some who were there might have even said you could have cut it with a dull knife. The two groups, one made up of the ‘woke’ crowd, the other ‘unwoke.’ Because what else could one call them? Fascists? Nazis? MAGA Republicans? They shouted names, pejoratives, slurs, and insults…

My Cousin Elmo says, “I self-identify as a conspiracy theorist. My pronouns are they/lie.”

The witches sat in their sewing circle, stitching together skins of whatever flesh they had gathered since the Wednesday midnight meeting of the week before. The oldest of the coven asked, “Have any of you eaten at that new spoonery, ‘The Cockroach and Cauldron?’” Several of the knarled grotesques answered ‘yes.’ “How was it?” she…

She and her husband had purchased the three-acre farm in the early Spring, and she was still exploring its features the morning after the first heavy rain swept through the area. With her dog, she set off towards a large tree with a newly formed pool of water next to it. The water filled a…

My Cousin Elmo says, “Jehovah Witnesses don’t celebrate Halloween. They don’t like random people coming to their door.”

My Cousin Elmo says, “The worst thing about getting up at four in the morning is knowing some people do it jus’ so they can exercise.”

My Cousin Elmo says, “Properly inflated tires can save three cents per gallon, but properly counted ballots can save three dollars a gallon.”

It is odd that I should think of Lily and miss her after so many years of doing neither. We worked the swing shift as security officers and were often paired up on the casino floor or the hotel hallways. She is a petite Latina, born in Nicaragua, but tough as nails when push comes…