A threesome is three people having sex, a twosome is two people having sex, but one person having sex isn’t handsome.

The vagina has over 8,000 nerve endings and still isn’t as sensitive as some people these days.

Poor Thomas’ Almanac for December 15: In 1877, Thomas Edison demonstrated his recently patented phonograph player. Guess you could say it came with its own records.

Night had already closed in on me as I walked through the once bustling silver-mine boom town of Goldfield. The sidewalks had long since been rolled up and I was but a lone stranger to its streets, and so I stayed to the highway which lead me passed the old, shuttered Goldfield Hotel. Curiosity had…

‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside,’ will now be known as, ‘Yo, Bitch! It be freezin’ up in here!’

The Boy Scouts are filing bankruptcy after deciding to let girls officially join them. Sounds more like a man’s life, after getting married.

The headline reads: “7-Year-Old Immigrant Girl Dies After Border Patrol Arrest.” This is such a disingenuous header. A more truthful and neutral headline might have read: “7-Year-Old Girl Dies After Desert Border Crossing.” The child was severely dehydrated after eight days in the desert. She was also malnourished, making it extremely difficult for her to…

Poor Thomas’ Almanac for December 14: In 1979, The Clash released the album ‘London Calling.’ Had it been released today, it would’ve probably been called ‘London Snapchatting.’

Mick loved walking through the deepest part of the woods. His family thought it was too dangerous to be in that area alone, but he’d always felt a sense of peace and calm when on trail. Ever resourceful, Mick wanted to be ready, so he always carried his camera, knowing something new might catch his…

Confidence is being able to say that my inferiority complex is better than yours.