For the third time in as many weeks, I’ve been awaken by the sound of an ice cream truck rolling down our street, playing some god-awful out of tune tin-penny piano music. Because of this I walked five houses up the block to our new neighbors, who have an old ice-cream truck parked next to…

Be someone with a mind, not only an attitude.

While surveying the gap, he felt himself shoved forward. He quickly slid in, penetrating a vast darkness. Over and over again, he tried to escape. The exertion left him violently sick. He was deflated by the time he was yanked from the pit. Nine months later…

My wife asked me to quit singing “I’m a Believer,’ by the Monkees because it was annoying her. At first I thought she was kidding, but then I saw her face.

I’d let my inner-child out to play, but the little bastard always wants to get naked and run around in the front yard.

It was around one in the morning and I was doing my last patrol through the second construction site. Since my last encounter, I had begun parking in better lighted areas, not that it would help much other than to lessen my anxieties, which were practically off the charts. As I pulled up under the…

If evolution really worked, things would fall ‘together’ instead of ‘apart.’

Life can’t fall apart if you’ve never had it together.

They say you’re only as old as you feel. I must be exhumed or something.

They’d been on the telephone for an while when he heard light breathing. He held his breath as she continued talking. “You should tell your kid sister to hang up your other phone,” he said, irritated at the idea of someone eavesdropping on their conversation. She paused before answering, “We don’t have another phone.” “Then…