House flies — they can find their way in through a quarter-inch gap in a window screen, but can’t find their way out when the door’s wide open.

American workers are the most productive in the world. You know those little tags that read, ‘Made in China,’ or ‘Made in Mexico?’ American workers make those!

The sanctuary was quiet as Mike sat talking to God and studying the broken man affixed to the large cross hanging on the wall above the alter. And though it was quiet, he never heard him enter and take the seat right behind him. “I have been sent to answer your prayers,” came the voice.…

Congress has passed a bill making it illegal to kill Buffalo simply for their wings or Wolves for the bain.

Nancy Pelosi says she wants to see President Trump in prison — but he’s pretty busy, so I doubt he’ll have time.

He loved how his girlfriend woke him up, whispering sweet nothings in his ear, then climbing on his manliness for amazing morning sex. However, he hasn’t enjoyed her companionship so much since her funeral. Half of their love, after all, is dead.

Speech, it had been how the old man had made his living at one time. Mostly alone now he did not talk much, and when he did words tumbled slowly outward with long and painfully drawn pauses where no comma or period should be – empty spaces filled by silence. Isolation comes with a staggering…

The Marine Corps sniper lay still, trigger-finger slightly touching the thing inside the guard. His spotter lay next to him, field glasses pressed against his cheek bones, before whispering, “On my signal — send him to Hell.” The Grim Reaper stood off to the side, unseen, but grinning widely.

The Higgins Boat slapped hard on the choppy swells as it motored forward across the open seas and towards the beach code-named ‘Omaha.’ He felt seasick within moments and soon the large breakfast the Navy had fed him was washing back and forth on the bottom of the boat with the vomit of others experiencing…

All things considered and life being as it is… I managed to burn myself on the barrel of a sprinkler head as I worked to repair it.