Sometimes, someone comes along making your heart race, leaving you sweaty and breathless. I call’em the police.

The woman won’t date guys who live with their parents, but will date one who lives with his wife.

Not to brag or anything, but I’m far more inappropriate in person.

The difference between men and women is that when she says, ‘Smell this…,’ it usually smells good.

Today’s goals: coffee and kindness, and my cup’s empty.

Tangled deep within sheets, blankets, bodies warm in slumber. There are the usual noises, but then there comes that eerie sound outside, wind blowing snow against the house, creaking lumber, so singular and out of sorts, only those in the know understand the angled blow isn’t done in harm, with its raking pound, which imagination distorts and defeats.

dogs dream
wife snores
wide awake

The best way to watch the movie, ‘The Bird Box,’ is while wearing a blindfold.

When talking about results remember that the last thing to grow on a fruit tree is its fruit.

“Twenty-ninteen is gonna be a fierce year.”

“How so?”

“I’m finally gonna toss out all the rules and simply be true to myself.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“It does, if you think about it. For years, I’ve been living with rules that do nothing but bog me down.”

“Like what?”

“Like not worrying about who the hell I offend when talking or writing. I’m tired of polite society when it comes to how I wanna use my words.”

“I’m glad you brought that up — lets talk about that.”

“Oh-shit-oh-dear, why do I feel a lecture coming on?”

“If you cleaned up your act, they’d probably let you do some preaching in church.”

“What the fuck do you mean ‘clean up my act.’”

“Your language. You cuss for no reason.”

“My cussing is simply a bad habit and I can control my tongue when I need too.”

“But how come you use cuss words when writing, or paint dirty pictures and tell off-color-stories and jokes on your blog? You know people see that stuff and then they question your morals?”

“So who’d they rather I preach too — so-called saints sitting in church pews being judgemental about my language or the sinner who might find some inspiration in something I’ve written because we speak a common language?”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Fine, I talk, think, paint and write dirty because I think it’s the right fucking thing to do and I don’t think God gives a good-god-damn about my language as long as the message is getting out!”

“Yes, He does. Says so in the…

“I know ‘course language’ and all that crap.”

“Right. So try honey and not vinegar.”

“What? So I can catch more flies? I don’t wanna catch flies or bees, if that’s what your thinking. I need people to read what’s written.”

“I see I’m not going to win this debate with you.”

“Damn right. Told you 2019 was gonna be fierce and remember, God works in mysterious ways.”

“Shut up!”

As a kid the dark use to scare me. Now, I’m afraid of the electric bill.