“I’m tired of you,” he said, “Be gone.”

I stared at him, not believing what he’d demanded.

“Be gone!” he shouted.

Without a word, I turned away from his reflection.

Nancy Pelosi had a group of illegal aliens arrested for camping on her property. Evidently, she doesn’t believe in ‘do as I say’ as much as she believes in ‘do as I say.’

Leaving Nome’s safety
Through the pass — to the gold fields beyond
Old Man Winter waits
Jack London — Robert Service
Could a pen be mightier than the sluice?

I don’t have ducks or rows. But I do have squirrels and they’re all over the place.

I can remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject. Now, if you mention Botox, no one raises an eyebrow.

Instead of spendng $5 billion to build a wall, let’s use the money to buy Mexico, renovate it, then flip it.

Sometimes, someone comes along making your heart race, leaving you sweaty and breathless. I call’em the police.

The woman won’t date guys who live with their parents, but will date one who lives with his wife.

Not to brag or anything, but I’m far more inappropriate in person.

The difference between men and women is that when she says, ‘Smell this…,’ it usually smells good.