My DNA results are back. They say unemployment runs in the family.

I disagree with Trump grounding Pelosi’s overseas trip using military aircraft. I’d have waited till she got there, then canceled her return trip.

Can ‘no collusion’ be cured with a colonoscopy? Asking for a friend.

the gathering Elk herd
echo of a twig breaking
beautiful thunder

Poor Thomas’ Almanac for January 17: Benjamin Franklin was born on this date in 1706. He’s known for inventing the ‘lightening rod.’ He would later become a lightening rod during the American Revolution.

Media speak: “Police shoots, kills man with ‘no active warrants,’” means an officer shot and killed innocent man.

The red Porsche was already moving faster than the posted speed limit, but Alan didn’t care as he pressed the accelerator to the floor. He wanted to see what the stolen car could do along the vacant flats of the Mohave Desert.

Alan saw the briefest flash of black and white of a California Highway Patrol vehicle, as he raced by pushing 190-miles an hour. He’d caught the officer flat-footed.

Ten minutes later, Alan checked the rear-view mirror and saw the cop – a mere red-and-blue dot. Alan also admired himself in the same mirror before losing control, crashing, killing himself.

My wife says I’m not allowed to go to ‘gender reveal’ events after I took my pants off thinking we were playing some sort of party game.

Organizing guru Marie Kondo say it’s best to keep no more than 30 books in your home, but no one needs that sort of negativity.

UPDATE 2: Crescent City Police say Cramer returned home on her own and is safe.

UPDATE 1: Cramer’s cellphone’s been tracked to an apartment complex on Gary Street in Crescent City. Police have been informed. No word yet if they’ve investigated this latest development.

Your help’s needed in locating a missing and possibly endangered teen from Crescent City, California. 14-year-old Venus Cramer was last seen as she left her home the evening of January 15.

She’s described as five-foot, four-inches tall, 100 pounds with light brown shoulder-length hair and blue eyes. Her mother, Caroline believes she is in the company of a teenaged boy named Dion Broutis, Jr., also of Crescent City.

If you see her or know where she is, you’re asked to call the Crescent City Police Department at (707) 464-2133.