Time is the greatest antagonist of any life.

A wedding ring is like a tiny handcuff — so chose your cellmate wisely.

If ‘Target’ didn’t want anyone to test out the ‘Nerf’ guns before buying them, they shouldn’t have so many logos in their store.

“It happened again, another time slip. This go-round I think I recognized that it had happened and that I wasn’t my right self – at least not the same self that left home this morning. First it was the dizziness that left me with double-vision followed by the cold coffee in my cup. I swear…

I’m so glad I was born in France and not a third-world country like California.

‘Taco Bell’ has been voted the best Mexican restaurant in the U.S. — proof as to why we need the electorial college.

“I got me some beautiful breasts last night!” “You did?” “Yup. Smeared’em with… “Smeared’em with what?” “Well if you’d shut yer pie-hole and let me finish, I’ll tell ya.” “Sorry, got a little excited – you know how I love chicken!” “Ain’t what I’m talkin’ ’bout!” “No?” “But I love chicken — you know that!”…

A hippo can run and swim faster than a human — so bicycling is the only way to beat a hippo in the triathlon.

If I share my food with you, it’s because I love you — or I dropped it on the floor.

Grabbing my day-pack, I hopped in my truck and headed east, then north along the highway. It had been a long winter and I wanted to get out, get free, cut loose for an hour or two before return to my hum-drum life. After parking, I hiked into the rocky hills and out of sight…