Pulp paper and ink. Like the fresh salmon caught, wrapped In decaying words. Fit for bird-cage floor. Once called history’s rough draft, Newspaper is dead.

They gathered round the windmill, pitchforks and torches filled their violent hands. There was a palpable feeling of fear to the fog and smoke-filled air as they shouted their demands. “Send him out!” “We know he’s in there!” “If you don’t, we’ll burn you out!” Their words had fallen on deaf ears. Not once did…

It’s clear to see that in 2020, we’re gonna have lots of puns and jokes about ‘vision.’

A a newly married man wonders if having sex on Good Friday is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. He asks a priest for his opinion on this question. The priest says after consulting the Bible, “My son, after an exhaustive search I am positive sex is work…

Don’t worry, the Mueller Report is available as a coloring book for Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

Our lab bolted under the garage door as it opened. In seconds he was heading his usual direction of west, up the street. “Shit,” I complain, “Forgot to put the dog-door down.” He and I have had this interaction before. He escapes, I chase and each time I chastise him, explaining why he should not…

You never know what I might have up my sleeve. For example — today it was a dryer-sheet.

When testing the waters, it’s best to know how to swim.

Over the course of the last couple of weeks I’ve been enthusiastically studying everything I can on the ‘Mandela Effect.’ That’s the pop culture name given to the phenomenon where by people are seemingly being troubled by ‘false memories.’ This is something I feel compelled to share, as I am one of those people. It’s…

Pro diet tip: Your pants won’t get too tight if you aren’t wearing any.