My Cousin Elmo says, “Every journalist is bi. You jus’ have to figure out whether it’s bi-ased or bi-partisan.”

My Cousin Elmo says, “Since ‘gun violence’ is considered an epidemic perhaps we should wear masks to flatten the curve.”

My Cousin Elmo says, “Not trusting the government doesn’t make you a conspiracy nut, it makes you a history buff.”

Recently, my son took up playing the cahóne, a box-shaped percussion instrument from Peru. He has enjoyed it so much that he purchased a second one. That is where this tale goes sideways. First, you must know that his wife is of Mexican descent. And though she does speak some Spanish, she doe not speak…

My Cousin Elmo says, “We should stop calling coffee “a cup of joe” out of respect for coffee.”

Here is a photograph of Nevada Governor Steve Sisolak wearing a Mickey Mouse watch and showing it off to a little girl from his Instagram account. It is in line with American Broadcasting Company and its subsidiary, The Walt Disney Company’s wokeness. I’m just pointing it out because members of the UNIPARTY cannot see their…

On Wed., Apr. 1, 1970, President Richard Nixon signed legislation officially banning cigarette ads on the radio. The last advertisement aired on TV on Thu., July 1, 1971, and on the radio long before that. Why is this being brought up now? Marijuana dispenseries. First off, if you smoke tobacco or weed, I don’t care.…

My Cousin Elmo says, “Irony is when people with the Ukraine flag in their bio say ‘There’s no reason any civilian should own a gun.’”

Shortly after getting home, my wife called, “Can you go down to the drug store and pick up the prescription I just phoned in?” “Sure,” I said as I grabbed my keys and beat feet out the door. Once there, I had to wait around for them to get filled. Bored with walking around the…

Because she needed her car as she didn’t have a ride home from work, and I didn’t have a way to deliver newspapers, my wife did the deed, renting a vehicle for me. Since I usually drive a 1998 Ford Ranger, she got a 2022 Ford Ranger. While they call it a mid-sized truck, the…