My Cousin Elmo says, “If I wanted solutions for my excuses, I’d have thought of them myself.”

One afternoon shortly before my seventh-grade school year, I was helping my Dad with a dump run. We were by ourselves, a good time to talk. He was trying to explain some of the ‘other’ facts of life to me as we rumbled south on Highway 101 and over the Klamath River. “Question everything,” I…

From Reno’s Radio Row & the EASY 104.1 studios…

Before his traffic accident, my son was training to be a fixed-route bus driver. It ended when he was struck from behind while driving his vehicle, resulting in a prolonged case of whiplash. One morning two women got on at the same time. Both headed straight for the last available seat, and when neither got…

My Cousin Elmo says, “If NASA discovered a “clump of cells” in space, they’d call it life.”

they walk on my grave and I ain’t even dead yet burial is hell

My Cousin Elmo says, “Bragging about a twenty-five cent decrease in the price of gas is like Hannibal Lecter cutting off your arm and then giving you back a finger.”

Elmer Fudd and Daffy Duck break into a distillery. Daffy asks, “Say, is this whiskey?” Elmer answered, “Yeth, but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank.”

A little boy goes to his father and asks, “Dad, how was I born?” The father answers, ” Well son,I guess one day you will need to find out anyway. Your Mom and I first got together in an online chat-room. Then I set up a date via E-mail with your Mom, and we met…