• Falling Star

    We kids called her Grandma because none of us knew her real name. On most summer days she’d spread a colorful blanket out on the grass in the shade of a redwood tree and weave her baskets as well as her tales.

    As children, we dared not join her on her blanket, because to do so would’ve been rude, so we each took a seat on the hard ground around her. One story we liked was also the one she told often — about how the first falling star came into being in the Universe. 

    Great Mother had learned that one of her youngsters, a young star, had lain with New Moon. Called before the entire constellation, the young star found herself being questioned.

    Great Mother asked Star if she had gone with New Moon willingly? Star nodded, “Yes, Mother.”

    “Surely, you know the punishment for such an offense?” Great Mother asked Star.

    Star answered, “Yes, I do, Mother.”

    With a heaviness in her heart, Great Mother opened a hole the night and as Star readied herself to jump through it, she proclaimed, “I will aways love New Moon with all of my heart.”

    Star, then disappeared through the hole her Great Mother had made, being banned from the sky forever. Meanwhile, far below, a little girl watching with delight, made a wish as she spotted the falling Star.

  • The title ‘leader,’ is reserved for the one who does by example and no real politican can meet this measure.

  • If you can’t say something nice…then tell the truth.

  • Sheep’s Clothing

    Such unlikely friends
    Sheep bleating and dog barking
    Wearing wool sweaters.

  • Endangered Teen Runaway Sought

    UPDATE: Samantha has been found safe and is back with her family.

    Sparks, Nevada Police need help finding an endangered runaway teenager, who could be considering heading out-of-state. Thirteen-year-old Samantha Jones was last seen at her home on Noreen Drive on Wednesday, December 5th.

    “There’s no concern at this time that she was abducted or that she is with anyone involuntarily,” Sparks Police Lt. Tara Bell, told the Reno Gazette Journal, “We just want to see her come home safely.”

    Her mother, Coleen Jones echoed the same sentiment in a Facebook posting, “She’s a tiny thing and we simply want her back home.”

    If you can help, you’re asked to call the Sparks Police at (775) 353-2231 or Secret Witness at (775) 322-4900.

  • How the Fight Started #129

    “Don’t try and make nice with me,” she growled. “I’m mad at you!”

    “Should I get your cape?” he asked with a smirk.

    “Why would I want a cape?” she returned.

    “So you can be ‘Super Mad,’” he answered with a straight a face.

  • You know its cold out when you trip over a pile of dog poop instead of stepping in it.

  • Q: What does a mother in a Socialist country say to her child when she sees him tossing a stick for their dog to fetch?

    A: “I told you to quit playing with your food!”

  • How to Eff-up a Job Interview in Three Easy Steps

    There are specific ways to fuck-up a job interview without putting much effort into it and after five-years of fruitless effort at trying to find work, I’m well on my way to mastering each. For this lesson, let’s go down the line in numerical order:

    1. Argue with the security guard at the main gate because he refuses to let you onto the job-site, even though all of your paperwork is in order (including a document that states you are a ‘guest,’ that you have an interview at a set time, a confirmation number, a bar-code and a QR code.)
    2. Ask what would happen if you decided to proceed without his permission. (They enjoy this question, because they get to explain how they’ll detain you and have you arrested for unlawfully trespassing.)
    3. Once you’ve been cleared to enter the job-site, you should find yourself being interviewed for the position by someone other than a human resources employee. (In this case — it should be the Chief-of-Security — because the gate-guard flagged your name.)

    It’s as simple as — well, you get the gist.

  • Birthday

    “Happy birthday!”

    “Thank you. One more till 60! How’d that happen?

    “It doesn’t seem real, does it? Weren’t we jus’ 12 and 13 last year?”

    “I know huh? Swatting down termites under the street lights.”

    “Then ducking from the bats.”

    “Those were the best of times.”

    Lengthy silence…

    “Well, happy birthday. Have a wonderful day.”

    “Thanks. You, too.”