Pulp paper and ink.
Like the fresh salmon caught, wrapped
In decaying words.

Fit for bird-cage floor.
Once called history’s rough draft,
Newspaper is dead.

They gathered round the windmill, pitchforks and torches filled their violent hands. There was a palpable feeling of fear to the fog and smoke-filled air as they shouted their demands.

“Send him out!”

“We know he’s in there!”

“If you don’t, we’ll burn you out!”

Their words had fallen on deaf ears. Not once did anybody answer them.

Soon someone began splashing kerosene on the single door leading into the building. That was quickly followed by a fiery torch.

Not one of the villagers dared to imagine that Dr. Victor Frankenstein had taught his monster how to use the Swivel-gun.

It’s clear to see that in 2020, we’re gonna have lots of puns and jokes about ‘vision.’

A a newly married man wonders if having sex on Good Friday is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. He asks a priest for his opinion on this question.

The priest says after consulting the Bible, “My son, after an exhaustive search I am positive sex is work and is not permitted on Good Friday.”

“The man thinks: “What does a priest know about sex?””

He goes to minister…a married man…for the answer and receives the same reply. “Sex is work and not for Good Friday!”

Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out a Rabbi. The Rabbi ponders the question and states, “My son — sex is definitely play.”

The man replies, “But Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?”

The Rabbi softly speaks, “If sex were work — my wife would have the maid do it.”

Don’t worry, the Mueller Report is available as a coloring book for Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

Our lab bolted under the garage door as it opened. In seconds he was heading his usual direction of west, up the street.

“Shit,” I complain, “Forgot to put the dog-door down.”

He and I have had this interaction before. He escapes, I chase and each time I chastise him, explaining why he should not run away or cross the busy street and every time he fails to listen.

So once again, I find myself walking in the direction he ran, calling, “Here Yaeger!”

Damned dog! One day I’m simply gonna pack his bags and set them at the curb.

You never know what I might have up my sleeve. For example — today it was a dryer-sheet.

When testing the waters, it’s best to know how to swim.

Over the course of the last couple of weeks I’ve been enthusiastically studying everything I can on the ‘Mandela Effect.’ That’s the pop culture name given to the phenomenon where by people are seemingly being troubled by ‘false memories.’

This is something I feel compelled to share, as I am one of those people.

It’s the small stuff that threw me for a loop at first. One the very first ‘false memories,’ was learning that C3PO’s right leg is actually silver and not gold like the rest of his body.

Say what?! Yes, worse yet — I was Mark Hamill’s stunt-double and stand-in during the part of ‘Return of the Jedi,’ being filmed in Smith River, California and I swear to you that the plastic costume Anthony Daniels wore back then was all gold at the time.

From the small stuff  like a movie characters mis-colored leg, to what I believe is the huge — a complete change in the written word of God. Don’t tune out now, as what I’m about to point out falls into the realm of fantastical…

As someone who has studied scripture for years, I found myself taken aback to learn that Isaiah 11:6 says nothing about a lion laying down with the lamb. Instead, the verse posits that the ‘wolf will dwell with the lamb.’

Huh? I don’t remember that at all!

A shift in reality, perhaps? Yes, and it’s preordained.

This led me to question my knowledge of the Bible. And worse, I allow this ‘verse change,’ to affect my relationship with Jesus as I began questioning how God could allow Satan to alter His word.

Then I rediscovered this verse, Amos 8:11-12: “The days are coming,” declares the Sovereign Lord,”when I will send a famine through the land — not a famine of food or a thirst for water, but a famine of hearing the words of the Lord. People will stagger from sea to sea and wander from north to east searching for the word of the Lord, but they will not find it.”

Ah-ha! It’s clear to me from that single verse that Satan has been given God’s permission to change the Bible, ‘blinding and dumbing,’ those who rely solely on the word of God and not on Christ for their Christian walk.

Sadly, not a single preacher has spoken of the Mandela Effect, other than to poo-poo it. And worst of all, they act as if the verse in Amos doesn’t exist at all.