My Cousin Elmo says, “A dyslexic man walks into a bra…”

Soon his mental wanderings became worse. He’d find himself having arguments with nearby trees, and once he believed himself to be playing the harmonica, only to awaken to see his pistol in his hand.

“Was I thinking of killing myself or something?” he asked.

The thought frightened him so much that he decided to not pack the weapon with him when he was out foraging. Instead, he’d carry his rifle for protection.

While checking his trap lines one afternoon, he found himself confronted by the same stranger who had rapped at his car window.

“Hallucination,” he laughed, as the stranger vanished.

The old car, an abandoned station wagon, was now his home. It sat in a copse of trees, on a slight hill near a creek.

Over the two years that he’d been there, he’d pulled out the seats and the steering wheel and added whatever materials he could find from his surroundings. It was there that he slept, and there that he began to have dreams of ‘her.’

He had no idea who she was, yet she comforted him, lightly stroking his face and pushing his long, matted gray hair out of his eyes. He would jump awake every time.

My Cousin Elmo says, “If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s a chicken according to fact-checkers.”

He knew his mind was beginning to slip. Three years of solitude does that even to the strongest of people.

It began with the first recurring nightmare. It was set back in the time before.

In it, he’d fallen asleep in the front seat of his car and was startled awake by a sudden and harsh rapping on his window. Turning to look, he saw a hooded figure peering at him, and the sight caused him to jump so violently, he woke up.

Looking around, he was still safe in the old car that he’s stripped out two years before.

Here am I, Lord.
I don’t smoke.
I don’t do drugs.
But I drink some
And cuss a bunch.
So send me.

Would He?
Probably not.

Whatever happened, happened quickly and without warning. It left the world filled with things that were once human that now feed on anything that makes the slightest noise.

When he can, Bill listens to an old Walkman he found, with its single cassette tape, ‘The Shaggs, Philosophy of the World.’ It is not his favorite kind of music, but it does the job of whiling away the long, lonely hours.

Sadly, he dropped it, and the noise it made nearly got him killed. Only by running did he save this life.

Bill learned his lesson and now lives in silence.

So someone is still looking into voting irregularities in Nevada. They claim this is part of the contract between Dominion Voting Systems Inc. and the State of Nevada, Pages 3 and 4, Section 8 and 9:

8. Confidential Information. Customer acknowledges that the Software and related documentation (collectively, the ”Information”) (i) constitutes confidential and proprietary trade secrets, disclosure of which would materially injure Dominion’s business and competitive position, and (ii) is exempt from disclosure under, the terms of any applicable freedom of information, open public records ad or similar statute (“FOIA Statute”). Dominion Voting Systems, Inc. Customer therefore agrees, to the maximum extent permitted by law, to keep confidential and not to disclose any of the Information to any other person or entity, or use such Information for any purpose other than as expressly permitted by this Agreement. Customer shall limit disclosure to employees of Customer having a need to know to perform their duties to Customer who have agreed in writing to be bound by the restrictions of this Section 8, Customer shall take any and all action necessary or appropriate to assert all applicable or potentially applicable exemptions from disclosure under the FOIA Statute and take all other legally permissible steps to resist disclosure of the Information including, without limitation, commencement or defense of any legal actions related to such disclosure. In the event Customer receives a request for Information under the FOIA Statute, Customer shall inform Dominion of such request within ten (10) days of Customer’s knowledge or such shorter period as necessary under the FOIA Statute to avoid prejudice to Dominion’s ability to oppose disclosure, Dominion shall use its best efforts to assist and support Customer’s exercise of any statutory exemption in denying a records request under the Freedom of Information Act (5 ILCS 140/1 et seq.). In the event that Customer becomes subject lo fines, costs or fees pursuant to Section 11 of the Freedom of Information Act (5 ICLS 140/11) relying upon Dominion’s claim that the information requested is exempt, Dominion shall indemnify Customer for those fines, fees and costs, notwithstanding any other provisions In this agreement. In the event Customer is required by court order to disclose any of the Information, Customer shall give written notice to Dominion at the earlier as soon as reasonably practical after tile imposition of such an order. 

9. Prohibited Acts. The Customer shall not, without the prior written permission of Dominion:

9.1. Transfer or copy onto any other storage device or hardware or otherwise copy the Software in whole or in part except for purposes of system backup;

9.2. Reverse engineer, disassemble, decompile, decipher or analyze the Software in whole or in part;

9.3. Alter or modify t11e Software in any way or prepare any derivative works of the Software or any part of parts of the Software;

9.4. Alter, remove or obstruct any copyright or proprietary notices from the Software, or fail to reproduce the same on any lawful copies of the Software.

And here, I thought this matter was settled.

My Cousin Elmo says, “If the number of Executive Orders you’ve signed exceed the number of days you’ve been in office, you might be a Dictator.”

Bored after nine-months of quarantine, Brody slipped out of his house and into a nearby vacant field. And like he used to, Brody took his binoculars.

Sitting quietly, enjoying the sun and breeze while bird watching, Brody was alarmed at the sight of a drone dancing along the treetops on the other side of the field. Dropping his binoculars as he scrambled to his feet, he raced home without looking back.

The following morning he found his abandoned binoculars hanging on a chair in his kitchen. Panicked at the sight, Brody barely heard the pistol slider close before being executed.