From Reno’s Radio Row & the EASY 104.1 studios…

Before his traffic accident, my son was training to be a fixed-route bus driver. It ended when he was struck from behind while driving his vehicle, resulting in a prolonged case of whiplash.

One morning two women got on at the same time. Both headed straight for the last available seat, and when neither got there first, they began arguing.

My son did his best to break up the squabbling before it led to all-out fist-cuffs. He eventually had to stop the bus and separate the two women from each other.

As he returned to his seat, the pair started in again. This time, he didn’t stop the bus but instead announced calmly over the public address system, “Let the ugly one have the seat.”

Both women stood for the remainder of the route.

My Cousin Elmo says, “If NASA discovered a “clump of cells” in space, they’d call it life.”

they walk on my grave
and I ain’t even dead yet
burial is hell

My Cousin Elmo says, “Bragging about a twenty-five cent decrease in the price of gas is like Hannibal Lecter cutting off your arm and then giving you back a finger.”

Elmer Fudd and Daffy Duck break into a distillery.

Daffy asks, “Say, is this whiskey?”

Elmer answered, “Yeth, but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank.”

A little boy goes to his father and asks, “Dad, how was I born?”

The father answers, ” Well son,I guess one day you will need to find out anyway.

Your Mom and I first got together in an online chat-room. Then I set up a date via E-mail with your Mom, and we met at a Cyber cafe.

We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.

As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said, ‘You’ve got male!’”

“Trust the science.”
“Science says life begins at conception.”
“Not THAT science.”

After God created Adam and Eve, He said, “I have two gifts, one is so you can pee standing up and the other is…”

Adam interrupted, “I want it, Lord. It would make life easier.”

So God gave Adam that gift. Adam screamed for joy and began running through the Garden of Eden, peeing on every tree.

Shaking her head at the man and his antics, Eve asked, “What is the other one?”

“A brain, Eve,” God answered. “I have a brain, and it is yours.”