Category: random

  • Day at the Beach

    The Higgins Boat slapped hard on the choppy swells as it motored forward across the open seas and towards the beach code-named ‘Omaha.’ He felt seasick within moments and soon the large breakfast the Navy had fed him was washing back and forth on the bottom of the boat with the vomit of others experiencing the same.

    Half-an-hour later came the call from the Coxswain, “Standby to disembark!”

    Men who had been talking seconds before, fell quiet, some crossed themselves and mumbled prayers. Others, like 19-year-old Johnny Geiger, slid the bolts back on their Garand and charged the weapon.

    Then THUMP! The craft came to an abrupt halt and the forward facing ramp dropped into the surf. Out of it spilled men into a thick cross fire from the Nazi’s MG-42’s.

    Those that didn’t fall dead at the first raking of the machine gun fire, found themselves in the freezing ocean, over their chests. Johnny grabbed the dead and floating body of a man and used it as cover and an aid to wade to shore.

    Coughing up water and breathing heavy, he watched as men dropped in the sand, torn to pieces by gunfire and explosions. Johnny huddled against a large steel hedgehog, placed in the sand to keep Allied forces from advancing tanks and other mechanized units onto the beach head.

    Suddenly, a blast, only a few feet away, lifted the terrified young man off the ground and slammed him back into the surf. The shock-wave left him in a state of confusion and it took him a few seconds to not only clear his head but to actually understand what he was seeing.


    “Oh, mon dieu, Louis!” a frightened woman screamed in French.

    Louis raced to the waters edge to pick up his son, who had disappeared momentarily underwater only to reappear in the arms of a young man dressed in full battle gear, only to have the soldier disappear into the waves the following second, leaving his son safe.

    “As-tu vu ça?” she cried as her husband handed their little boy to her.

    “Oui, mais je ne peux pas l’expliquer,” he answered, shaking his head in disbelief.


    The beach was filled with tourists; gone were the dead and dying, soldiers, the gun-fire and explosions and the sky was blue with sunshine beaming down where once he’d seen cloudy overcast gloom. Johnny had no time to think about the sudden change as he saw a small child floating in the surf.

    Instinctively, Johnny reached over and yanked the child next to his body. He curled over it in such a way as to protect the little boy from the murderous gunfire that tore up the beach as he watched a man wearing nothing more than swimming shorts race towards he and the child.

    And as Johnny began to scramble to his feet, another shell tore into the sand and close by, sending both he and the little boy tumbling violently through the air. When Johnny recovered, the boy was gone.

    Panicked, he searched for the child, then knowing there was nothing more he could do, scrambled across the open beach, rejoining his unit as they prepared to assault one of pillboxes embedded on the cliff-side. Johnny looked back, chalking it up to the stress of battle.

  • All things considered and life being as it is…

    I managed to burn myself on the barrel of a sprinkler head as I worked to repair it.

  • Forever Together

    “Forever together,” he glared as he squeezed the trigger.

    The bullet ripped through my face but failed to kill or render me immediately unconscious. So I heard the gun discharge a second time and his body drop hard to the linoleum beside me.

    When I woke, I had the nastiest headache and foul taste in my mouth. Looking around, I wondered how emergency crews had missed me as my would-be murderer was no longer in the room.

    Dizzy and disoriented, I stumbled to the hospital. There I found him, in a bed, head wrapped in clean gauze, tubes and wires hanging off of him.

    Quietly, I sat in the chair next to him, waiting for him to awaken. As he stirred, I ran my graying, swollen and cold hand along his forearm.

    He looked at me, eye as wide as any I’d ever seen, as I whispered through my broken jaw and jagged teeth, “Forever together.”

  • My Cousin Elmo says, “My favorite essential oil is bacon grease.”

  • Phosphorescent

    Stopping only long enough to take a picture, I turned around to find my party had moved further into the cave. My attempt to follow their direction was met with a fork in the path.

    Left or right; I chose right.

    After a while, I decided I’d taken the wrong path. It was then that I decided to wait to be rescued.

    As I stood there, I was bathed in the faint glow of a million phosphorescing gems. Some winking, others twinkled as I turned my camera towards the shiny specks, setting off my flash.

    Rescue would never find me.

  • How to remember to spell the word ‘psychotherapist’ — psycho-the-rapist.

  • Used to be we had to go to the circus to see a tattooed lady — now we can go to Walmart.

  • Huh?

    Everything was fine until tragic event/nothing happened. It was normal. Until I found a mild curiosity. I asked insert friend/family member and they didn’t know anything about it. I explored further and found more mysteries/monster. If anyone knows anything about this please tell me/ it is still out there.

  • Quit Drinking

    “You really don’t want me to quit.”

    “Yes, I do.”

    “No – I promise you, you wouldn’t like me.”

    “I don’t like you when you’re drinking!”

    “I know, but that person’s a far better one than I am without alcohol.”

    “I don’t believe you – you’re jus’ making up excuses to drink.”

    “No – I’ve only one reason to drink.”

    “Yeah, what’s that?”

    “You know the story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?”

    “What of it?”

    “I’m the opposite of those two and because I’ve been drinking, I’m Mr. Hyde.”

    “You’re full of shit!”

    “Okay, I’ll stop drinking – but remember — I warned you.”

  • It’s not pulling the sword from stone that’s difficult, it’s putting it back after learning about the crap that comes with possessing the damned thing.