Category: random

  • Thirty Years at Store #29

    “You’re gonna do what?” I asked.

    “I’m going to leave Circus-Circus and go to work for Port of Subs.”

    In my mind, I was sure Mary was making a mistake. Leaving the third highest position in the housekeeping department of one of the largest hotel/casinos in Reno seemed crazy.

    Yet, that’s exactly what my wife did. Not only did she take on managing this start-up sandwich shop, she built it through her strong customer service and dedication to the products offered.

    That was 30 years ago. And today — well — it’s her last day and I couldn’t be more proud of her.

  • Inside the Stillness

    Brady lived by himself in a hovel carved into the side of a low hill, a few miles south of Beowawe. Once, the place had been a miner’s claim, the kind of hopeful scar left behind by men who’d chased silver and sunlight across the desert.

    Now it was his, half cave, half cabin, cool in summer, warm enough in winter, and far enough from anything resembling a town to make the world feel properly quiet. He liked it that way.

    His neighbors, those few who bothered to ride this far out, thought him a bit touched for preferring the company of wind and sand to that of people, but Brady didn’t mind. There was a peace in the desolation, in knowing that the nearest soul was a good half-day’s walk away. Even the wild horses kept their distance, though he could often see them at dusk, tracing thin silhouettes along the ridgelines.

    That evening, he sat on his newly built porch, a rough thing of pine planks and sweat, nursing a cup of coffee and a cigarette he’d rolled himself. The desert, restless with the murmur of insects and the shifting of wind through sagebrush, seemed to hold its breath. The quiet struck him first as pleasant, then as peculiar.

    No horses.
    No pronghorn.
    Not even the usual whisper of air through the gullies.

    The stillness was not empty, as it pressed on him, as if sound itself had been buried alive beneath the sand.

    Brady leaned forward, frowning. A flicker of movement caught his eye beyond the sage line, something tall gliding between two low hillocks.

    The shape was wrong for a man, incorrect for anything he’d ever seen. It was too fluid, too deliberate, as if it moved through a slightly thicker world than his own.

    It stepped into the dying light.

    The figure was dressed in black, though the cloth seemed to absorb the sunset. Its skin was the color of ash, its eyes two caverns sunk deep beneath a brow too heavy for any human skull.

    In each hand, it carried a curved blade that glinted as though catching light from somewhere beyond the sun. The thing advanced, gait jerky and marionette-like, as if pulled forward by invisible strings.

    Brady rose, his instincts older than reason. He’d hunted enough to know what came next.

    Where there was one predator, there were always more. He stepped inside his hovel, unhurried but efficient.

    The Winchester leaned against the far wall, oiled and ready. He grabbed it, along with every box of ammunition he owned, and took position in the doorway.

    By the time the first shot rang out, the figure was close enough for Brady to see that its mouth never closed, gaped open in a soundless scream, a pit lined with teeth like shards of glass. The rifle cracked, the creature folded in half, and yet its body hit the ground with a delay, like it had to remember how to fall.

    Then came the others. They poured from the horizon in silence, dozens of them, each identical, each moving as if bound to the same unseen rhythm.

    The sound that should have come with such a mass never arrived; even his own gunfire seemed muffled, absorbed by the night as if the desert refused to echo it back. For eighteen hours, Brady fought.

    He lost track of time except for the rhythm of reloading, firing, counting, and breathing. His arms ached, his shoulder bruised deep purple, but he never stopped.

    The air stank of gunpowder and blood, if that’s what it was. The fluid that seeped from the bodies shimmered like oil and evaporated in the sandy loam.

    When dawn finally broke, the sun rose into a sky too pale, as though it too had grown weary of color. Brady stepped out and surveyed the battlefield.

    Two hundred corpses lay sprawled across the slope, their faces already crumbling into gray dust. Brady burned them anyway.

    For three days, he kept the pyres lit, watching as the smoke curled upward in thin, unnatural spirals that refused to disperse. The wind did not return. The horses did not return. The world seemed to hold itself back, waiting for something.

    On the third night, as he sat beside the last smoldering heap, he heard the faintest whisper, a voice so low it felt like it was forming inside his skull rather than around him.

    “We were the first breath,” it said. “And you have exhaled us.”

    Brady stood, rifle in hand, though there was nothing to aim at. The horizon quivered.

    The stars above Beowawe seemed to shift, not twinkling, but turning, like they were eyes adjusting their focus toward him. He did not run.

    He watched as the night sky pulsed once, twice, then settled. The desert released, the wind returned, carrying with it the familiar rasp of sage and sand.

    By morning, the world looked unchanged, with empty hills, bright sky, and the faint glimmer of heat rising from the rocks. But sometimes, when Brady steps outside with his coffee and his smoke, the stillness creeps back, thick and patient.

    And though he never speaks of that long night south of Beowawe, he keeps his rifle close. Because every so often, the silence comes again, hungry, remembering.

  • Scam Call Killer

    Her cellphone rings for the sixth time that day. Another private number, another scammer.

    She accepts the call.

    “Hello,” a man with a Jamaican accent says, “This is the Social Security Office, how are you Mrs. Hansen?”

    “Raheem? Raheem, is that you? Thank goodness! It took you long enough to get back to me. So what did they say about me claiming my husband’s disability, especially since I was the one that killed him?”

    “You killed your husband?”

    “Come on Raheem, I told you that the last time we spoke and don’t worry, they’ll never find his body. I chopped him up and fed him to the pigs. So what did they say?”

    The caller clears his throat, “Ma’am, this is the Social Security Office and I am calling to inform you that a warrant has been issued for your arrest and…”

    “A warrant!?! You turned me in? How could you do that, Raheem? I trusted you. We were supposed to run away together! It’s your fault he’s dead and I’ll tell them that you put me up to it! I swear I’ll tell them everything!”

    “Mrs. Hansen, you have the wrong number. I just…”

    “How can I have the wrong number, Raheem, you called me. You set me up, didn’t you? You thought you’d get me sent away and claim all that money for yourself, but you remember this, Raheem – I know where you live and I didn’t have any trouble killing my husband of 20 years and I certainly won’t have any trouble killing a man I’ve only known for six months. What do you think about that?”

    ‘Click,’ the caller hangs up. She hasn’t had another scam phone call since.

  • Frankenstain

    The once famous monster had fallen on hard times. He lost his home one evening after setting fire to it while in a rage.

    Now homeless and drinking too much, he wandered the streets at night, sleeping in a garbage bin during the day. After two years of this, he decided it was time to pull himself up by his boot straps and find a job.

    Happy with his decision, he unthinkingly stepped onto the busy street without looking first. A passing bus struck him and that’s how he came to be known as “Frankenstain.”

    Life can be so cruel.

  • A Bedtime Conversation

    Sharon looked up from her book, “What would happen if a werewolf and a human were to mate?”

    Tyler fluffed his pillow and laid his head back on it, “What an odd question…why, did something…?”

    “No, nothing happened. I’m simply being curious,” Sharon answered.

    “The child could be a werewolf, a wolf or a mutt,” Tyler said.

    “Perhaps a pit-bull?” Sharon interrupted questioningly.

    “No, that’s only possible with Jeremy Renner,” Tyler responded.

    “I do hope so,” Sharon smiled as she returned to her book.

    Tyler didn’t want to think of the implication as he rolled over to face the wall.

  • Coyote Waits

    “Coyote told me how to find the path.”
    A spiteful sun singes his skin.
    “That bush looks like a jack rabbit.”
    The high desert oozes its heated hostility.
    “I should have passed the station by now.”
    A rock stained with bird-shit cries out:
    “Turn back!”
    He has circled back upon his-self.
    “Is that the sound of moving water?”
    He turns to face that burning sun.
    “Coyote told me how to find the path.”
    He cocks his gun as Coyote waits.

  • The Red-Hat Assassin

    Monday morning, beginning of the work week as I wheeled into the parking structure next to the newspaper, where I work. As usual, with satchel hanging from my left shoulder, I walked lost in thought towards the entrance I’d jus’ passed through.

    Her low, square heels made a soft tap, tap, tap as she walked behind me. I knew from the sound that she’d overtake me before I rounded the corner.

    As she began to pass me, I felt a sudden sting. She had poked me with a needle in my leg led, below my butt-cheek.

    “Hey!” I shouted.

    She did not look back at me as I stopped to rub the spot from where the pain emanated. I figured that I could distinguish the elderly woman from other women because of the bright red hat she wore.

    Continuing my path towards the office, I picked up my pace, determined to call the police as soon as I made it to my desk. As I rounded the corner I was met with a sea of red-hatted women.

    The sight made my head spin wildly, my heart race uncontrollably and then growing sweaty and clammy, my throat fill with bloody vomit.

  • Diddle

    Rachel and I were on her living room couch, half-naked when my cellphone rang. I reached over and tapped ‘dismiss,’ sending the call to voicemail.

    Curious, Rachael asked, “Who was that?”

    “I don’t know and I don’t care,” I replied as I slipped my hand back inside her panties.

    Then my phone started chirping again, demanding my attention. This time I decided to answer it.

    “Who is this?” I demanded, not recognizing the number.

    “Rachael’s dad,” a voice on the other end announced.

    “Why are you calling me?” I asked in astonishment.

    “To tell you to use your tongue and not your finger. She responds better to that.”

    Before I could say respond, the line went dead.

    “Well,” Rachel asked, “Who was that?”

    “Your father,” I answered.

    “Can’t be! My father’s been dead since I was seven.”

  • Crows and Clouds

    watching clouds go by
    listening to the crows laugh
    my how they gossip

  • Universal Remote

    in a moment of self-awareness
    he realizes he is too adversarial
    too much politics in his universe
    all consuming as he gets fired up
    yelling at friends mistaken for tv