Category: random

The problem with all golf courses is the fact that they are a perfect waste of a gun range.

A lot of people are alive only because I shed too much hair to get away with murder.

Which one sold out faster? Bernie Sanders or toilet paper.

I can hardly wait for this COVID-19 stuff to be over, so I can go back to ‘social distancing,’ done my way.

Out of gratitude, and after being saved by a man, a savage she-wolf secretly turned into a human in order to become his loving wife. They lived happily for years without him ever knowing her secret.

Then late one night, under a full moon, the man looked inside her dressing room only to discover her true nature. Mixed with her human form, she turned back into the savage she-wolf, killing her husband, before she disappeared into the darkness, never to be seen again.

On full moon nights, she can be heard baying skyward and in shame for what she’s done.

Tell that someone you love jus’ how much you love them and do it today because life is too short to wait. Also, scream it at them in German, because life is also very terrifying and saying it in German also sounds funny — in a dirty-minded way.

If I were a betting man, and I’m not, I think most ‘social isolating’ men in the US are so hard up for current sports programming, that they’d watch foreign soccer matches, even if they didn’t understand a word being said. Best bring on the beer and chips, if they do.

They keep saying, “You’re locked down for your own safety,” and all I keep thinking is, “So was Jeffery Epstein.”

It’s that odd, quirky, out-of-step writer — the one whose thought appears out of place, raw and real, unedited, uncorrected, imperfect, impure, poorly spelled, without proper grammar, but boldly written down and publicly shared, that fascinates me. And I like dogs, too.

It’s been a couple of months since I’ve have a night-terror. Again, I was being violent in my sleep, being physically attacked by another person. I wish I were able to figure out why these occur like they do, why they disappeared for the while and why they’ve returned.

My continued battle with insomnia is bad enough, but jus’ getting to sleep only to have this happen, sheesh! So, here I am, sitting at my computer, that I had shut-off an hour-and-a-half earlier, logged on and writing.

On the plus side, I finally got my unemployment filed. However, I received a message from the website saying I have to call them to complete the interaction. That ticked me off at first, then I saw the ironic humor in it and found myself laughing at it instead.

Think I’ll go lay down, try to get some sleep. Not!