Category: random

My Cousin Elmo says, “If I want the opinion of someone who chases a ball for a living like LeBron James, I’ll ask my dog.”

My Cousin Elmo says, “So if I wear two pairs of swim trunks, I can pee in the pool all summer, right?”

My Cousin Elmo says, “They said all I needed was to wear a mask to enter the store. They lied. Everyone else had clothing on.”

On March 22, I posted a fiction story called “Consent,” about the US Postal Services app, “Informed Delivery,” spying on a person. Now, this has come to light, as reported by Yahoo News.

The US Postal Service is tracking social media posts as part of a secret program searching for “inflammatory” messages. The program, known as the Internet Covert Operations Program (iCOP) had not been made public and involves analysts combing through social media sites looking for “inflammatory” postings and then sharing those posts with government agencies.

ICOP specifically tracks protests across the country. A March 16 government bulletin, marked as “law enforcement sensitive,” shows that “analysts with the United States Postal Inspection Service (USPIS) Internet Covert Operations Program (iCOP) monitored significant activity regarding planned protests occurring internationally and domestically on March 20, 2021.”

“iCOP analysts are currently monitoring these social media channels for any potential threats stemming from the scheduled protests and will disseminate intelligence updates as needed,” the bulletin says.

So much for fiction and freedom.

This world is not my reality. I come from another time, another place, different from this one.

First, let me say that I use the words “man,” “his,” and “he,” because from where I originate, those are proper pronouns for the male of my species. Please feel free to substitute the ‘pronoun’ of your liking while reading this.

Also, where I am from, a man carries a wallet, his keys, sometimes a pocket knife, sometimes a handkerchief, a pocket watch, or wears a wristwatch. In this reality, however, he is almost always forced to have a cellphone on his person.

The cellphone throws everything off balance. It throws me off balance.

Perhaps if I got rid of it, I could return to where I belong.

so invisible am I
that I cannot behold my own
broken reflection

My Cousin Elmo says, “If kingdoms are ruled by kings and empires are ruled by emperors, then countries…”

It doesn’t take very much to leave me feeling accomplished.

It was early still when I began working on the front yard sprinklers, which still need more adjusting before they stop watering the sidewalk and driveway. By the time the sun fully crested the mountains to my east, it was time to head inside and get another cup of coffee.

No longer wet or chilled, I started rewriting and editing all four news stories I had put together from the night before. It’s a great feeling to have my weekly assignments finished and ready for publishing.

Once I finished that task, I grabbed the four weeks’ worth of past newspapers and started cutting them up. Before long, I had all my stories clipped and the ten pages they filled glue into my scrapbook.

At lunchtime, I got caught up in my journal. I had worked on my news stories for so long last night that I went to bed without writing anything about yesterday’s events.

Finally, Buddy (our dog) and I took a walk through the neighborhood. He was so excited, he forgot his leash training.

The walk was good for me too, as I can always use the exercise.

My Cousin Elmo says, “Silly me, I thought changing the picture on a pancake mix’s box was going to bring about World peace.”

My Cousin Elmo says, “My wife asked me to take her someplace expensive. I took her to the lumber yard.”