I’m certainly glad that newspapers are still printing paper editions, especially with this toilet paper shortage.

Chuck Norris has been exposed to the Coronavirus. The virus is in quarantine for the next two-weeks.

Tom Hanks and his wife Rita are quarantined in Australia after testing positive for the Coronavirus, meaning he’s actually stuck on a real island with a real Wilson.

Due to extreme ‘panic buying,’ Walmart has opened Checkout Stand #3.

The toilet paper crisis proves that we have more assholes in the world than we thought.

Back in my day the only time we went into ‘panic buying’ mode is when the bartender yell, ‘last call.’

Jus’ think, one day you’ll be able to tell your grand-kid’s about how you survived the “Great Toilet Paper Shortage of 2020.”

Jesus: “Do not worry about anything.” Man: “Should I worry about the Coronavirus?” Jesus: “I’ll speak a little slower this time…”

https://soundcloud.com/sierra-tom-darby/in-20200311 “So where in Hades have you been?” Nicholas Gorbet said, “Thought you was gonna help me with the calving?” “What do you mean by that?” Brady returned, “I jus’ saw you a couple of days ago.” “Must have hit your head if you think it’s been only two days. I last talked with you…

Parents are afraid to discipline their kids anymore, meanwhile I can still recall my mom slapping the ‘factory reset’ outta me for acting up.