My Cousin Elmo says, “If I want the opinion of someone who chases a ball for a living like LeBron James, I’ll ask my dog.”

My Cousin Elmo says, “So if I wear two pairs of swim trunks, I can pee in the pool all summer, right?”

My Cousin Elmo says, “They said all I needed was to wear a mask to enter the store. They lied. Everyone else had clothing on.”

On March 22, I posted a fiction story called “Consent,” about the US Postal Services app, “Informed Delivery,” spying on a person. Now, this has come to light, as reported by Yahoo News. The US Postal Service is tracking social media posts as part of a secret program searching for “inflammatory” messages. The program, known as…

This world is not my reality. I come from another time, another place, different from this one. First, let me say that I use the words “man,” “his,” and “he,” because from where I originate, those are proper pronouns for the male of my species. Please feel free to substitute the ‘pronoun’ of your liking…

so invisible am I that I cannot behold my own broken reflection

My Cousin Elmo says, “If kingdoms are ruled by kings and empires are ruled by emperors, then countries…”

It doesn’t take very much to leave me feeling accomplished. It was early still when I began working on the front yard sprinklers, which still need more adjusting before they stop watering the sidewalk and driveway. By the time the sun fully crested the mountains to my east, it was time to head inside and…

My Cousin Elmo says, “Silly me, I thought changing the picture on a pancake mix’s box was going to bring about World peace.”

My Cousin Elmo says, “My wife asked me to take her someplace expensive. I took her to the lumber yard.”