My Cousin Elmo says, “Jus’ my luck. My parents get LBJ and I get FJB.”

My Cousin Elmo says, “Instead of ‘Build Back Better,’ how about just ‘Put it back the way you found it and leave it the hell alone.’”

Had to go to the post office this morning. I remembered everything — wallet, phone, package, but I forgot my mask. Decided that since I was already in the parking lot, I would not return home for it. Besides, businesses usually have those cheap sky-blue masks available for “we, the forgetful.” Not today. Since no…

Unable to sleep last night, I read the FY21 Budget Reconciliation Bill, thinking such mundane, boring legalese would make me fall fast asleep. Instead wound up staying up all night and morning making notes. I have done my best to remove the opinionated-verbiage I use when researching such a touchy subject. My apologies should you…

In August, China tested a nuclear-capable hypersonic missile that orbited the planet before racing back down toward its target at more than five times the speed of sound. The test left U.S. intelligence surprised, indicating China is making quicker progress in developing hypersonic weapons than previously known. Beijing has denied the report, saying that it…

My Cousin Elmo says, “The oil may be in Texas, but the dipsticks are in Washington D.C.”

The nurse escorted Hilga to an exam room, where she had to step on the scale, have her height measured and temperature taken. Finished, the nurse asked her to strip and put on a flimsy hospital gown. “Doctor will be with you shortly,” the nurse smiled as she exited the room. Minutes later, the doctor…

With her jet black hair and bangs, Sally Mae was a beautiful woman. That’s why Anderson was frustrated. Every time he tried taking her picture, the results were the same. “Blurry again,” he’d complain. As for Sally, she found herself in trouble for her actions. “You do not have the right to speed up simply…

“So what’s this one supposed to represent,” Apolonia Pena asked the park ranger. “I can’t speak on behalf of the park, but I think it is a ‘shapeshifter,” the ranger said. “At least that is what Grandfather told me when I was a child.” “It’s frightening,” Apolonia said. “It is,” said the ranger. “I also…

For years, even as a child, I wondered how long or if ever the people of Virginia City, Nev., knew that Sam Clemens and Mark Twain were the same people. The short answer is that Sam Clemens walked into a saloon and came out as Mark Twain. And like those Genzu knife commercials of late-night…