A man opens his newspaper expecting the usual assortment of human foolishness. But then he learns that nature has been quietly writing horror stories, waiting for somebody to notice.

Such was the case when scientists announced the discovery of two new species of sea spiders in the Salish Sea, between Washington and British Columbia. I had always considered H.P. Lovecraft’s tales of unspeakable creatures from the deep to be fictional. But I now see that this was merely because Mr. Lovecraft had not yet obtained a scuba certification.

The first of these newly discovered creatures has a slender trunk, red eyes, three lips arranged around the opening of a triangular mouth, and claws. It also has hairy legs and additional appendages that resemble legs but are apparently used for grooming.

This is comforting, because when I think of an unknown creature lurking beneath the Pacific Ocean, the first question that comes to mind is naturally, “But does it maintain proper personal hygiene?” And apparently, it does.

The second species is no improvement. It has an hourglass-shaped abdomen, black eyes, and knob-like claws.

The hourglass shape may sound elegant until you recall it’s an animal living underwater with enough appendages to make a centipede feel underdressed. One suspects that if the creature wore a little cape and introduced itself as the Ancient One, nobody aboard the research vessel would argue.

Researchers from the University of British Columbia made the discoveries during scuba dives in the Salish Sea. I admire these scientists tremendously.

Most people who encounter a strange creature beneath the surface of the sea immediately experience a powerful desire to be somewhere else. These researchers, on the other hand, apparently see something with red eyes, three lips, claws, and a collection of hairy legs and think, “Excellent. Let us swim closer.”

Scientists have identified nearly 1,400 species of sea spider so far, which raises the uncomfortable question of how many more there may be hiding down there. These creatures range from about half an inch to 28 inches long.

Sea spiders are not actually spiders. They are related to scorpions and horseshoe crabs. So, if a creature isn’t a spider but looks sufficiently spider-like, has claws, and comes from the depths, I see no reason to quibble over taxonomy while it swims toward me.

Still, there is good news. Scientists have discovered these creatures, named them, studied them, and have presumably returned them to the sea, meaning civilization survived an encounter with Lovecraft’s imagination.

As for Lovecraft, I suspect he would have been horrified. After all, nothing inspires quite like discovering that the monster was real all along—and that it has three lips and red eyes.