Alcohol Abused

As any service member can tell you, there is a penalty for alcohol abuse. In this case, we are speaking of spillage.

When it happens, punishment — erm — we mean discipline — must be provided to the offender. Though it varies from one duty station to another, a set of push-ups are generally the prescribed correction.

As I sat in the Union Brewery Saloon in Virginia City, I was startled by the sudden affections of a woman. As she hugged me and kissed my cheek, I knocked a newly decapped bottle of Yellow Belly to the floor.

Because of “muscle memory,” meaning I didn’t think first, I dropped to the hardwood floor and started “giving 25.” It became a sad spectacle as, by the ninth one, I knew I did not have it in me to finish.

My arms collapsed, and my back spasmed to the point I lay on the floor, flopping like a fish out of water in spilled beer. The laughter that ensued was not my intent, but I rolled with it anyway.

Now I wonder which needs more work, my push-ups or my alcohol abuse.