Face Plant

Early this morning, about 2 a.m., my bladder nudged me awake, complaining it was full. So I roll out of bed, letting my feet touch the floor as I remained seated on the edge of the mattress.

I pet the dog that had been asleep beside me and th…

My memory goes blank at this point. However the next thing I recall is waking up with my legs folded beneath me, my arms stretched along my sides and my face on the carpet.

Confused, I looked around the still dark bedroom, not fully grasping the fact that I am on the floor. It would take me another few second to understand that I fainted, or passed out, whichever you want to call it.

After lifting my head, I feel my arms and fingers begin to prickle. Then my legs start tingling as I work to get them out from beneath my hulk.

“Jus’ how fucking long I have I been here?” my brain asks as if I have a quantifiable answer.

“Long enough for your body parts to fall asleep,” I hear myself say.

Finally as I push myself to my knees, starting the process of get to my feet, I feel the pain of a busted lip. I either bit myself or I banged my face on the floor.

Either way, I’m bleeding and it hurts like hell. I get up and trudge to the bathroom to finish my business, fortunate that my bladder didn’t let go after I hit the carpet.

As I stood over the toilet bowl, I found my feelings a tad bruised. Mary didn’t wake up and neither did either of the dogs.

“Well, how’s that for a fine how-do-you-do?” I grumble as I climbed back between the warm covers.

Time to see a medical doctor.