The Falling Off

It’s been one of those mornings. Up early to take care of some outside chores before the heat becomes intolerable, but that isn’t what’s made this morning so frustrating.

First, I got out my favorite coffee cup and poured some java in it. I picked it up and the handle simply fell off, splashing hot liquid all over my still-bare legs, the kitchen floor and a nearby cabinet, not to mention breaking the cup.

Then while I was raking up dog crap like a dutiful human (pun intended,) the wooden handle came off the fan. The funny thing is that when it happened, I was leaning forward, dragging the tines towards me, causing myself to lose my balance, stepping forward on the handle and snapping it in half.

Finally, as I finished putting away the lawn mower and dragged in the garbage can filled with poop, grass clippings and such, I turned to go inside the house from my garage and the god damned door knob, which I jus’ replaced a couple weeks ago, popped off in my hand. It took me about half-an-hour to figure out why this happened and fix it.

And now, I’m afraid to go pee.