Box Store Bandida

It was a trip to the home improvement store that I didn’t want to make, but had to as I am changing out the light fixtures in our guest bathroom. After spending less than half an hour gathering what I needed, I proceeded to the cash resister.

As I’m standing in line, a properly masked couple came up behind me, maintaining the perfunctory six-feet between us, when I hear hims say, “Hon, please mind your own business.”

She ignores him and proceeds to get my attention by saying, “You should have a mask on. Don’t you watch the news and know what’s going on. There are federal government guidelines…”

I hold up a finger, which brings her comments to a halt, then smile, “I chose not too wear one because they don’t work when it comes to viruses. And like you, I don’t believe everything the federal government tells us.”

“What do you mean, like me?”

“See, those cigarettes in your purse? The Surgeon General, thus the Federal government, has been warning about the hazards of cigarette smoking since 1964 and yet — here we are.”

While I can’t be certain, but judging from the movement of her well-sewn and colorful mask, I think her mouth opened and shut twice as she tried to think of a return. As for me, it was my time to pay as I stepped up to the cashier.

Behind me I heard the man say, “I told you to mind your own business, now didn’t I?”