No Answer

Late at night I sit up into the early morning hours.
The lights are off and I sit in darkness.
Quietly, I listen for the sounds not heard.

My father did the same and I would wonder “Why?”
The glow from the cherry of his cigarette fills my memory.
Dad’s breath heavy as he exhaled.
His sadness, loneliness, disappointments, each palpable.
Disconcerting for me at the time.

Now I sit in darkness, but I don’t ask “Why?”
There is no answer I’ve learned.
My sadness, loneliness, disappointments — palpable.
It’s very disconcerting.

I can’t help but wonder if can you feel it?