Hoo-kt on Fon-iks

Mary and I were trying to figure out how to say “Caribbean.” We each have a slightly different pronunciation for the same place.

She breaks the word down phonetically like this: ‘Car-uh-bee-uh-n.’ I say it, ‘Care-ah-bee-ann,’

Turns out Mary’s right and I’m pronouncing it in what one might call a more colloquial manner. Of course, “Caribbean” isn’t the only word I say different from most folks.

The name of the show-me-state, “Missouri” seems pretty straight forward. However, for years I had heard only my dad and other family members say it one way.

Anyway, I had no idea that I might be mispronouncing ‘Missouri,’ until fourth grade. Mr. Kirby was teaching state history when he asked where the California Trail began.

My hand shot up first and after being called on, I answered, “St. Joseph, Miz-zoo-rah.”

“Where?!” Mr. Kirby blasted back.

Much to my general discomfort I repeated my answer, whereupon he scolded me, pointing out the ‘I’ on the end of Missouri. For as long as I was in his class, I answered it the exact way he wanted it saying, ‘Miz-oo-ree.’

It’s not like blowing the word ‘Gila,’ by pronouncing it with a hard ‘G,’ when it’s actually said, ‘Hee-la.’ Believe me when I tell you it’s unpleasant to make that mistake while on the radio, because the phones will light up.

And then there’s no sense arguing with folks in Massachusetts about how to pronounce ‘Nevada,’ as they’ll butcher it anyway, saying ‘Ne-vah-duh.’ I returned the favor by calling it, ‘Massive-two-shits.’

And there was nothing colloquial about that.