• And Other Curious Notions

    The Nevada Legislature, ever eager to find new ways to spend time and money, has turned its attention to one of the great crises of our era—license plates that are not yet digital. Assemblyman Howard Watts, a man of vision and a great believer in the march of progress, has offered Assembly Bill 296, allowing the Department of Motor Vehicles to embrace the wonders of modernity by accepting digital license plates from an approved vendor.

    One can only imagine the untold suffering this bill seeks to remedy—perhaps thousands of Nevadans lying awake at night, tormented by the knowledge that their plates remain stubbornly analog.

    But fear not, for relief is on the way. Not only will digital plates become a reality, but they shall also have the power to replicate designs and prestige plates, ensuring that one’s vanity remains intact in the digital age. These plates will also be able to display Amber Alerts and other messages approved by the DMV. However, one can’t help but worry about what might come next—a future where cars inform everyone about road conditions and the latest bureaucratic bunglings from Carson City.

    Ever the great experimenter, California has already adopted digital plates, and Nevada, not to be outdone, shall soon follow suit. To add an extra layer of innovation, AB296 will also establish a pilot program to gather data on vehicle mileage, thus ensuring that no wheel turns without proper documentation. By 2026, the good people of Nevada will be under the watchful eye of progress, their odometers no longer private matters between man and machine.

    Of course, the Legislature has not stopped at reinventing the license plate. Other noble efforts are afoot. Senate Bill 234, for instance, seeks to expand emergency Medicaid coverage for those who have entered the country through unconventional means. This bill, a labor of seven dedicated Democratic lawmakers, will provide for emergency transport, hospital care, and other treatments—though elective surgery, therapy, and other non-urgent matters shall remain in the domain of those who have navigated the system with paperwork in hand.

    Not content to stop there, Assembly Bill 294 takes up the pressing issue of age verification online. Websites harboring material deemed harmful to minors must now implement systems to keep the young and impressionable at bay, with a hefty $10,000 fine awaiting those who fail in this moral duty. The measure enjoys bipartisan support, proving that if there is one thing upon which both parties can agree, the internet must be tamed—preferably with fines and lawsuits.

    Thus, the Nevada Legislature marches forward, ever determined to regulate work fine and ensure that no citizen, young or old, escapes the ever-expanding reach of governance. What new wonders shall emerge from their deliberations? Only time will tell, but rest assured, the age of the digital license plate is upon us, and the world will never be the same.

  • When a man has a dollar in his pocket, a politician is somewhere nearby scheming how to spend it. And if that man lives in Nevada, he will soon find that not only is his dollar spoken for, but his vote must now travel through a freshly minted labyrinth, designed not so much to improve the system as to complicate it to the satisfaction of Democratic lawmakers.

    Such is the case with AB 306, a legislative marvel brought forth by Assembly Speaker Steve Yeager and Senate Majority Leader Nicole Cannizzaro, who have determined that the citizens of Nevada are in desperate need of additional mail ballot drop boxes during the mysterious three-day chasm between early voting and Election Day. That a man might have survived all his previous years without such convenience is of no consequence—lawmakers are here to remedy an affliction they have just discovered.

    The bill demands no fewer than ten new drop boxes for Clark County–home of Las Vegas, where votes vanish faster than a rabbit in a magician’s hat and five for Washoe County, where Reno resides, clinging to its lost dignity. These boxes shall remain open seven hours a day on the Saturday, Sunday, and Monday before Election Day, presumably so that ballots may wander in at their leisure, unburdened by the constraints of traditional voting hours.

    Now, one might reasonably ask: if vote centers already serve as mail ballot drop-off locations, why must we tinker further? The answer, of course, is as plain as a mule’s ears—because there exists a three-day stretch where these locations are closed.

    It might seem a natural consequence of an orderly election process to the average citizen. But in the inventive mind of a lawmaker, it is an insurmountable crisis requiring immediate legislative intervention.

    Thus, with the noble spirit of those who fix what ain’t broke while leaving the broken untouched, the state of Nevada marches forth into another grand electoral experiment, ensuring that no ballot shall suffer the indignity of waiting its turn. And, in the grand tradition of political progress, taxpayers can rest easy knowing that their hard-earned dollars are hard at work—whether they asked for it or not.

  • Saturday’s contest between the Virginia City Muckers and the Portola Tigers was a showdown neither team could claim for their own. A deadlock at 10 apiece left both squads shaking hands with unfinished business.

    Virginia City, now sitting at 1-0-1, will take their bats and gloves on the road next Saturday to square off against a non-varsity opponent at 11:00 a.m. Not one for sitting idle, Portola promptly dusted Hug with an 18-1 trouncing on the 1st, wasting no time getting back on the winning track.

    Meanwhile, Fernley kept its unblemished record intact with a 5-1 victory over Palo Verde Valley on Friday. Emma Masters manned the mound for all six innings, scattering five hits and allowing just one earned run while ringing up six batters. It was her stingiest outing since April 2024.

    Lauren Smith made her mark at the plate, tallying two runs on three hits—a career-best performance. Sara Moffett chipped in with a triple and an RBI, proving Fernley’s lineup is a threat from top to bottom.

    Swinging the bat like they had something to prove, the Vaqueros notched a .429 average, keeping alive a season-long streak of batting above .353. Their triumph pushed them to 3-0, while Palo Verde Valley saw a six-game road win streak from last season’s end, dropping them to 3-1.

    But both teams kept moving: Fernley took a narrow 6-5 loss to Elko on the 28th, while Palo Verde Valley bounced back with a 2-0 win over Needles.

    Saturday’s action saw Fernley lace up their cleats again, and once more, they made their presence known, toppling Boulder City 7-2. Joslyn Wadsworth stood tall in the circle, working five innings without allowing an earned run while fanning six batters—a new personal best. Taylor Tollestrup’s bat was on fire, delivering a flawless 3-for-3 performance, swiping a base and crossing the plate twice.

    The win lifted Fernley to 4-1, while Boulder City’s struggles continued, extending their losing streak to five games and dropping them to 0-4. Fernley now sets its sights on a Saturday morning home matchup against Sparks, whose hitters will need all the luck they can muster against a Vaqueros pitching staff allowing just 2.4 runs per game. Boulder City, meanwhile, will try to turn the tide against Democracy Prep Agassi Campus on Friday afternoon.

    For Churchill County, Saturday brought little joy and plenty of frustration as they were dismantled 18-0 by the Davis Sr. Blue Devils. The loss ended the Greenwave’s impressive 12-game winning streak.

    Now 2-1, Churchill County looks to right the ship when they visit River City for a 12:15 p.m. contest on Saturday. Davis Sr., riding a hot streak of five wins in their last six outings, improves to 6-2 and will take on Lincoln in a tournament showdown—just in time to capitalize on Lincoln’s ongoing four-game skid.

    Softball never lacks drama, and as the season barrels forward, these squads will have plenty more chances to stake their claim on victory.

  • SILETZ, Ore. — The search for 2-year-old Dane Paulsen, who went missing from his home near milepost 21 on Highway 229, north of Siletz, has continued into Monday with increasing efforts from law enforcement and community volunteers.

    Dane was last seen on March 1 playing in his front yard. He wore a grey fuzzy hoodie with ears, blue and white shoes, and black pants. Authorities described him as “friendly and fearless,” comfortable around strangers and water, though he cannot swim.

    Since his disappearance, the Lincoln County Sheriff’s Office has coordinated extensive ground, water, and air searches. Witnesses saw a vehicle and an unidentified adult male near a bridge close to Dane’s home roughly 30 minutes before he vanished. After locating the car and its occupant, an investigation cleared the man.

    During a press conference on March 2, authorities explained their decision not to issue an Amber Alert, stating that the case did not meet the necessary criteria. For an Amber Alert to be activated, law enforcement must have reasonable belief that an abduction has occurred.

    The missing child must be under the age of 18 and believed to be in imminent danger of serious bodily harm or death. Additionally, there must be enough descriptive information about the child, the abductor, or any involved vehicle for law enforcement to issue an alert that could assist in the recovery of the child.

    The child’s information needs to be input into the National Crime Information Center (NCIC) database. Officials emphasized that while Dane’s case is urgent, it does not fit the criteria for an Amber Alert, as there is no evidence suggesting an abduction.

    Despite this, search teams have aggressively pursued all possible leads, with support from the Lincoln County Major Crime Team and the FBI. As of Sunday, March 2, authorities reported 382 acres and 283 miles searched using 88 certified search and rescue members, four watercraft, four divers, four drones, six human-trailing K9s, 40 investigators, and 138 community volunteers.

    Searchers are focusing efforts between the steel bridge and Huhtala Road, with officials urging community members not to enter the primary search area to avoid interfering with operations. Volunteers are instead encouraged to gather at the Elks Toketee Illahee campground, where the park host will coordinate search efforts.

    Jess Palma, executive assistant for the Lincoln County Sheriff’s Office, stated that overnight volunteer searches are discouraged due to safety concerns and limited visibility. While there is currently no evidence of foul play, the FBI’s Victim Services Division has been assisting the family.

    Authorities urge anyone with information to call the tip line at 541-265-0669. A GoFundMe campaign has been created to support search efforts.

  • It was someplace in the mountains above Lamoille. Maybe higher than I should have gone. The air was thin but good. The lake below was blue and deep, and I had wanted to see it up close. But I had taken the wrong step.

    The shale had gone out from under me fast. No time to catch myself. No time to think. I pitched left and lost my stick. It was gone, and then I was gone too, sliding. The pack weighed me down, making it worse. The ground broke away and carried me like a river, taking me down and down.

    I kicked hard to stop. It didn’t work. The mountain was winning. The drop was close now. It was coming. I thought: This is it, how it happens. So I threw my arms and legs wide, like making a snow angel, and everything stopped.

    I lay there, breathing hard, feeling the shale trickling past me. It whispered as it went. A little more, and I’d have gone with it.

    I sat up slowly. Two, maybe three feet away, the ground ended. I shivered. My hands shook. Not a place for shaking hands. I picked the rocks out of my clothes, my skin, my hair. Sat for a long time, listening to the tinkle of the shale as it settled.

    The climb back was slow. My legs burned. My hands bled. I had to dig my way through the shale, testing each step. The trail was gone to me, but I kept moving. Had to. The sun was getting low when I found the path again.

    I made camp on the trail, where it grew wide. The ground was hard, and the wind was coming, so I left the tent in my pack. I pulled the shale from my skin, one sharp piece at a time. Some deep. Some not. Then I curled up in my bag in between two rocks and let the night take me.

    In the morning, the sun came over the peaks and found me. I let it warm me before I moved. Everything hurt, but that was fine. Hurt meant I was still here. I dressed slowly, then started the long walk down.

    I never made it to the lake and never went back. And that’s fine. I survived, and that’s enough.

  • More Holidays, But Do They Pay?

    The esteemed legislators of Nevada, never ones to shirk a chance at a grand pronouncement, have taken it upon themselves to bestow fresh honors upon the calendar. Assembly Bill 82, now trotting through the legislative corral, proposes that the governor, with all due pomp and circumstance, annually declare “Diwali Day,” “Eid al-Fitr Day,” “Vaisakhi Day,” and “Vesak Day.”

    This noble endeavor met with warm approval from those who hold these days sacred, and one might suppose that the bill’s passage is but a formality. But the devil, as always, is in the details.

    One cannot help but ask the burning question—do these holidays come with the golden promise of a paid day off, or are they merely ornamental fixtures on the almanac, fine for speeches but useless when staying home in one’s slippers? Alas, there is no word yet on whether the working man will benefit beyond the mere pleasure of knowing another day has a name.

    Should this measure pass, could future legislative genius extend similar honors to other occasions—perhaps “The Day of the Lost Sock” or “The Great American Nap Day?” But until there is word on whether these new designations come with a respite from toil, the laboring folk of Nevada would do well to keep their noses to the grindstone, for their employers expect nothing less.

  • The Protestingest Protesters That Ever Protested

    A great sea of aggrieved humanity, numbering in the thousands–by their count, which, like a fisherman’s, is not to be taken at face value, assembled near the office of Congressman Mark Amodei, having taken mortal offense at his failure to indulge their demands for a town hall. They came armed with slogans, righteous indignation, and the unshakable belief that the louder one shouts, the more correct one is.

    Commencing at the fashionable hour of noon—after, one presumes, a leisurely breakfast— the protest, helmed by a medley of activist organizations, all deeply wounded by the recent federal budget bill.

    “This isn’t rocket science,” declared one Christiane Brown, a sentiment with which the gathering undoubtedly agreed, given their choice of occupation for the day.

    They lamented the alleged disintegration of Medicare and Medicaid. It became clear that many had only a passing acquaintance with such matters as their expertise derived primarily from social media posts and legacy media.

    One organizer, Kimberly Carden, swore with the certainty of a prophet that the good Congressman would be seeing a great deal more of them. “If he won’t host a town hall for his constituents, we’ll bring his constituents to him,” she declared, which is an admirably determined—if somewhat inconvenient—approach to civic engagement.

    Not content to confine their grievances to mere fiscal matters, the crowd, as is tradition, found time to voice opinions on Elon Musk, immigration, and any other topic that might generate additional outrage. It was a protest buffet, offering something for everyone.

    Meanwhile, in the frosty hills of Vermont, Vice President JD Vance found himself the reluctant recipient of similar attention, as another league of sign-waving enthusiasts braved the cold to register their objections to his views on Ukraine, Palestine, and, one suspects, the price of lift tickets at Sugarbush Resort. The Vice President was in the state to ski with his family, a grave offense in the eyes of those who believe no moment is too sacred for political confrontation.

    Protesters, some clutching Ukrainian flags, others brandishing Palestinian banners, and all sharing enthusiasm for standing outside in unfavorable weather, letting Vance know he had no friends in Vermont, though whether he had previously claimed to is unclear. “Ski Russia!” one declared, suggesting that if the Vice President wished to carve up some powder, he ought to do so in the company of his alleged comrades in Moscow.

    Vermont Governor Phil Scott issued a statement best summarized as “Be nice,” but given the temperament of the assembled multitudes, one doubts it had much effect. Meanwhile, a scattering of Vance supporters, while outnumbered but resolute, bravely counter-protested with a “welcome rally.”

    Thus concluded another grand performance of modern democracy, where everyone left wholly unsatisfied yet thoroughly self-righteous. Not a single mind got changed, and zero policies got reversed.

    But rest assured, more protests are in the works—for what is life without a good, old-fashioned grievance to march about?

  • Virginia City’s Muckers took to the road Saturday, but if there were any lingering ghosts from last season’s six-game losing streak, they exorcized them. They pummeled the Hug Hawks with a decisive 15-6 victory, putting an end to their skid in emphatic fashion.

    As fate would have it–Virginia City and Hug will be taking on Portola in their next contests. The Muckers will head out at noon on Saturday while Hug gets an earlier crack at them at 10 a.m.

    For Hug, it was a bitter start to the season, extending a losing streak that has now reached an unfortunate 21 games. Still, there were some bright spots. Aubrie Sacauskas went 2-for-2 at the plate, scoring a run and setting a new career-high with two doubles. Daisy Torres hit a home run and drove in two RBIs, making an impact even though her team lost.

    Meanwhile, Fernley wasted no time serving revenge in their home opener against Pahrump Valley. After falling 13-10 the last time these two squads met, the Vaqueros flipped the script with a 7-0 shutout on Thursday. Taylor Tollestrup led the charge, crossing the plate twice while going 2-for-3, while Lauren Smith contributed a run and a solid 1-for-2 performance.

    The Vaqueros didn’t just win—they did it with discipline. While Pahrump Valley batters struck out eight times, Fernley hitters only fanned once, making the difference clear.

    They followed up the victory with a 9-3 win over Williams on the 27th, while Pahrump Valley struggled again, dropping a 5-3 decision to Palo Verde Valley that same day.

  • Virginia City’s misfortunes persisted Friday as they suffered their fourth consecutive defeat, an 8-7 nail-biter at the hands of the Pyramid Lake Lakers. The Muckers were a single run away from snapping their losing streak, but fate had other plans. Adding an unusual twist to the affair, this marked the fourth straight game in which the visiting team walked away victorious.

    Despite the loss, Tyler Battaglia delivered a performance worth remembering. The hard-throwing right-hander took out eight batters in just over three innings of work, surrendering only one hit and three earned runs while issuing a lone free pass. His strikeout tally set a new personal best. Not content with merely shining on the mound, Battaglia made his presence felt at the plate as well, scoring twice, swiping a bag, and notching a base hit in three trips.

    He was not alone in making solid contact. Angel Hipolito contributed by crossing the plate once and pilfering two bases, while four of his teammates also registered hits in the contest.

    The latest setback dropped Virginia City to a winless 0-4 on the season. Pyramid Lake, meanwhile, clawed back to .500 with a 1-1 record.

    Unfortunately for Virginia City, the script remained unchanged in their next outing. Their rematch against Hug ended in a 9-2 drubbing, extending their road losing streak to five games dating back to last season. The last time these two squads met, the Muckers prevailed 9-3 in April 2019, but history did them no favors this time.

    Looking ahead, both Virginia City and Hug will take on Portola next. The Muckers will host the Tigers at noon Saturday while Hug gets their crack at them at 10 a.m.

    Meanwhile, in another bout of diamond dominance, Southwest EC made quick work of Fernley, shutting them out in a lopsided 16-0 affair. The Eagles have been feasting on opponents all season, racking up four wins by nine or more runs.

    Southwest EC remains undefeated at 5-0, steamrolling their competition with an average margin of victory exceeding 11 runs per game. Fernley tumbled to a 1-3-1 mark with the loss.

    The Eagles kept their momentum rolling with a 6-1 triumph over Needles in their subsequent contest. Fernley, hoping to rebound, will return to their home turf Thursday to square off against Douglas at 3 p.m.

  • SILETZ, Ore. – Authorities in Lincoln County, along with the Oregon State Police and the FBI, are searching for a missing two-year-old boy who vanished Saturday afternoon.

    Dane Paulsen was playing in the yard of a residence near milepost 21 on Siletz River Highway at approximately 4 p.m. on March 1. The Lincoln County Sheriff’s Office was notified of his disappearance at 4:25 p.m., prompting an immediate response from multiple agencies, including Siletz Valley Fire, Oregon State Police, Newport Police Department, Lincoln City Police Department, and Lincoln County Search and Rescue.

    Search efforts began immediately, with emergency personnel scouring the property and surrounding areas on foot and by air. Drones, equipped with cameras and thermal imaging technology, were used in the search efforts.

    Dane has brown hair and green eyes. He wore a gray fuzzy hoodie with teddy bear ears, black pants, and blue and white shoes.

    Authorities have identified a late-90s gold-colored station wagon, possibly a 1996 Mercury Sable with tinted windows, as a vehicle of interest. Witnesses reported seeing the car in the area around the time Dane disappeared. It was traveling south on Siletz River Highway near mile marker 20, driving from Lincoln City, about three miles north of Siletz.

    Officials expressed gratitude to the approximately 150 community members who’ve joined in the search efforts. The investigation and active search for Dane Paulsen remain ongoing.

    The Lincoln County Sheriff’s Office asks anyone with information regarding Dane’s whereabouts or the suspicious vehicle to contact their Tip Line at 541-265-0669 or their non-emergency dispatch at 541-265-0777.