This is some thing I’ve known about myself for years, but have never admitted to. Even though I am in the radio broadcasting business, I don’t like the sound of my voice.

At one point in my life, I had a difficult time speaking because I studdered. And even though I had this problem, I wanted to talk on te radio.

After years in the business, my voice still doesn’t sound friendly to me. To me I sound as if I’m always struggling to keep my head slightly above water when talking.

Very strange, don’t you think?

When I got home this morning from the radio station, I went to bed feeling bummed. This came after Kyle told me he isn’t going to be back here to the house until July.

First he has summer school, which I knew about, but then he told me he has plans to help his grandparents move their entire household to Texas.  Personally, I think this admirable so I will not stop him.

He also seemed so happy about his plans, and I certainly don’t want to dampen that. But on the flip-side, his plans have left me down.

Perhaps this God’s way of telling me to expect some new doors to open

Kyle was seven or perhaps eight months old when his pediatrician, Dr. Kathleen Christopherson, noted he was iron-deficient. She prescribed a supplement that would build up this lack in his tiny body.

Unfortunately, Kyle’s mother forgot to tell me that she had taken him to see Dr. Christopherson or that Kyle had this problem. Instead I would have to find out the hard way.

A couple days after her started taking the supplement; I went over and picked her and Kyle up. I dropped her at her work, the Flamingo Hilton in downtown Reno and I took Kyle over to my apartment to watch over him till his mom was off work.

It was during his first diaper change of the day that I found myself on the edge of freaking out. Kyle’s movement was not normal looking and it scared me.

Panicked I called his mother and told her what was happening. She told me to hold tight as Kyle had jus’ been to the doctor and she wanted to call her before I took Kyle over to the doctor’s office.

A number of anxious minutes later, Kyle’s mother called back laughing. She explained Dr. Christopherson believed Kyle had been given too much iron-supplement and his little body was getting rid of the extra through his bowel.

The doctor drew this conclusion without even having to examine Kyle or his diaper. She only needed to know what color Kyle’s poo was.

There is something very wrong with turds the color of bright turquoise.

We stopped to have lunch as we made our way to South Dakota for a family reunion on the bride’s side. Being at this particular rest stop and being an amateur historian on the West, I couldn’t wait to hike up to the top of the massive rock setting in the middle of Wyoming.

As Easterner’s moved westward they often stopped at this rock, which is part of the Oregon Trail. Many would climb to the top of it so they could see what sort of land lay before them as they continued over-trail.

Once on top I found what I was looking for: the graffiti.

The oldest I found was from 1850 although there are older etchings in the stone. Pioneers scratched their names in the rocky clefts to let people know they had passed this way.

I took several photographs and also videoed the area as I continued to explore.

As I topped the rise I could see my bride frantically waving to me to hurry down. She was impatient and wanted to get back on the road.

I had obviously lost track of time.

Instead of returning the way I had come, I figured I’d take a short cut and hike down the craggy face of the rock. What I didn’t think about was the fact that I was wearing leather soled cowboy boots and my hike grew increasingly more and more slippery.

After stopping for a few seconds to see what the better route was to continue downward, I felt my footing give way. I was suddenly sliding down the rocky surface.

It didn’t take long for my boots to catch a rough edge in the otherwise smooth surface. The force of the sudden stop pitched me forward, and I continued downward. Only now I was rolling head over heal.

My body spilled out onto a grassy area jus’ a few feet short of the walking path the surrounds the rock. I laid there for a couple minutes to see if I had any broken bones.

There was nothing wrong with me physically. All the damage was emotional, in the form of a severe bruising to my pride.

Today started out great, but I let my attitude steal away my joy. Jus’ great!

Had to go pick up some product for my wife’s sandwich shops and that’s where things took a turn downward. I pulled into will call parking, went inside to complete my paperwork and when I came out I watched another person back her vehicle up to the loading dock.

As she got out of her car I asked her to move so I could pick up my stuff, but she told me she was there first. I let her know that I was actually there first as I had completed my paperwork before she even backed in.

She had a shirt on that proclaimed where she worked. Ironically, it was the same franchise as my wife’s business, but not her exact store. I told her I was also there for the same sandwich company.

Her response: Big deal!

So I asked her for her store number. She told me to eff-off, got back in her vehicle and she moved it to will-call parking.

I backed in, loaded up and drove to my wife’s first store.

As I pulled in I saw a large pick-up truck parked on the side door landing, under the awning. It was literally blocking one of our two public entrances to the business.

My thinking: Follow the rules. I decided to say something to my wife about it.

She told me it belongs to one of her good customers and that I should meet him. I told her that perhaps another day, when I’m less pissed off about where he parked, since it isn’t a parking spot and is bad for business.

My wife is mad at me now.

When I worked as Road Supervisor for ATC/CitiLift there was a guy, named Kirk Wingo, who set my nerves on edge. He tried to act as if he were a “smooth operator,” but I could tell he was slightly off the mark when it came to being honest.

While I didn’t hire him, I did have to interview him twice for three different incidents involving the safety of passengers. He eventually was fired after failing to secure a wheelchair passenger properly in his vehicle.

He disappeared and I never heard another thing about Kirk until he was arrested for murdering a young Reno woman. Brandi Gallego was mother of two, a daughter and sister, who he strangled to death and left in a family van in a parking lot.

Kirk told the Gallego family that Brandi’s death was an accident involving rough sex. He eventually pled guilty to her murder and is now spending the remainder of his life in prison.

It’s enough to keep the nerves on edge.

Over the years I felt it necessary to come to the defense of Pat Patapoff’s memory. To be upfront, Pat and I didn’t always get along as we constantly had some sort of personality conflict going on between us.

It was during omy 20th class reunion celebrating graduation from high school in 1978, that I found out Pat was dead. The stories of how he died were at least ten-years old and varied widely.

So I pieced the different accounts together and have drew my own conclusion. Simply put, Pat pulled his children from their burning home in Klamath. After he pulled the children to safety, he returned to retrieve his guns, where he eventually died.

It wasn’t until recently that I found the courage to ask Pat’s daughter Krystel, what actually happened.

Krystel writes, “From what I remember, we had some friends over and I was sitting in the living room watching Pee Wee Herman. My sister and her friend were in the bedroom we shared, playing.  My friend went into the room and came back out, and within minutes my back started feeling hot. So I went in the other room and there was fire.

I told Dad and he grabbed all us kids and took us to the top of the road and told us to stay there.

Looking back, I told him I didn’t want him to go back in, but he did. He picked up the garden hose, but it had no water.  I saw him through the window, swirling around engulfed in flames, holding the guns he had went back in the house to get. They found him in the house, on the bed, holding the guns.”

For years I have refused to let anyone drag Pat’s name through the mud because he tried to retrieve the guns.  He saved four children, including both of his daughters.

This makes him special in my eyes; a true hero.  Nothing else can or should be said about a person whose last real act in life was brave, regardless of any perceived character flaws.

Krystel’s dad is a hero.  We should all be so lucky to have such a person in our lives.

A prominent member of Chicago’s homosexual community claims Barack Obama’s participation in the “gay” bar and bathhouse scene was so well known that many who were aware of his lifestyle were shocked when he ran for president and finally won the White House.

“It was preposterous to the people I knew then to think Obama was going to keep his gay life secret,” said Kevin DuJan, who was a gossip columnist in Chicago for various blogs when Obama was living in the city as a community organizer and later a state senator.

“Nobody who knew Obama in the gay bar scene thought he could possibly be president,” said DuJan.

DuJan, founder and editor of the Hillary Clinton-supporting website HillBuzz.org, said he has first-hand information from two different sources that “Obama was personally involved in the gay bar scene.”

“If you just hang out at these bars, the older guys who have been frequenting these gay bars for 25 years will tell you these stories,” DuJan said. “Obama used to go to the gay bars during the week, most often on Wednesday, and they said he was very much into older white guys.”

Obama, DuJan said, is “not heterosexual and he’s not bisexual. He’s homosexual.”

Investigative journalist Wayne Madsen, who worked with the National Security Agency from 1984 to 1988 as a Navy intelligence analyst, confirmed DuJan’s claims.

“It is common knowledge in the Chicago gay community that Obama actively visited the gay bars and bathhouses in Chicago while he was an Illinois state senator,” Madsen said.

A member of the East Bank Club in Chicago confirmed Obama was a member there and was known to be a homosexual. The upscale fitness club, with 10,000 members, is not a “gay” facility. But it’s one of several places identified by the Chicago homosexual community as a “gay gym,” where homosexuals meet and engage in sexual activity.

A federal judge dismissed a libel case against Larry Sinclair, a homosexual who claimed Obama’s 2008 presidential campaign had paid to rig a polygraph test regarding Sinclair’s sensational charge that he had sex and used cocaine twice with Obama while Obama was an Illinois state senator. Sinclair tells his story in “Barack Obama & Larry Sinclair: Cocaine, Sex, Lies & Murder.”

Former radical activist John Drew said that when he met Obama when Obama was a student at Occidental College, he thought Obama and his then-Pakistani roommate were “gay” lovers.

In addition, rumors have swirled around Obama’s relationship with his personal aide and former “body man,” Reggie Love, who resurfaced on the eve of the Republican National Convention to support his old boss. In two separate articles, Obama wore a gold band on his wedding ring finger at Occidental College through his student days at Harvard Law School.

DuJan said that during Obama’s first presidential campaign, “there was fear in the gay community” about talking openly about Obama being homosexual, particularly after the murder in December 2007 of Donald Young, the openly gay choir director at Jeremiah Wright’s Trinity United Church of Christ, who was known to be a close friend of Obama.

“People did not want to talk openly about Obama being gay,” he said.

“Then, when we saw how Larry Sinclair was demonized, anybody who would expose Obama worried they would be silenced if they dared to speak the truth about Obama’s gay life,” DuJan said.

DuJan said he has been told, “Obama’s secrets would have to come out just like John Edwards’ secrets came out.”

He said Obama stopped going to gay bars and bathhouses in Chicago when he began running for the U.S. Senate in 2004.

“Back then, Obama could walk around Chicago and people generally wouldn’t recognize him, even though he was a state senator in the Illinois assembly at the time,” DuJan said.

DuJan insisted that while he supports Hillary Clinton, he holds no personal animus toward Obama. He said he campaigned for Clinton in 2008 “because I had waited for years for her to be able to run.”

“I opposed Obama not because I’m a racist, or that I hate Obama, I just knew the type of person Obama associated with in Chicago,” he said.

He pointed to Obama’s association with convicted Chicago real estate magnate Tony Rezko, Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan and Rev. Wright.

“Obama was a dirty politician that the media never wanted to vet – that’s what concerned me about Obama,” Du Jan said.

Madsen published an article in his Wayne Madsen Report in May 2010 claiming Obama and Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel were members of the same bathhouse in Chicago.

“President Obama and his chief of staff Rahm Emanuel are lifetime members of the same gay bathhouse in uptown Chicago, according to informed sources in Chicago’s gay community, as well as veteran political sources in the city,” Madsen wrote.

He said the bathhouse, “Man’s Country,” catered “to older men,” noting “it has been in business for some 30 years and is known as one of uptown Chicago’s ‘grand old bathhouses.’”

Madsen wrote his 2010 report after traveling to Chicago to interview bartenders and customers at several “gay” bars.

DuJan gave WND a list of “gay” bars in Chicago where older customers hang out and tell stories about how Obama, before 2004, frequented visited to pick up men for sex, including several on Halstead Street, widely known as an “uber-gay Chicago street.

DuJan said rooms at Man’s Country bathhouse are still referred to as the “presidential suite,” or the “Oral Office,” because “the current President used to haunt the place when he was a just another Illinois state senator that no one had ever heard of or cared about.”

DuJan said he believes that, someday, “all of this is going to be as public knowledge as JFK’s affair with Marilyn Monroe and the other women he cavorted with while married to Jackie.”

“Someday,” he said, “in the next 10-20 years, everyone will know all about Man’s Country, and the place will no doubt get a plaque of sometime commemorating that place as a gay hangout for the future leader of the free world.”

In late May, Wash. DC-based investigative journalist Wayne Madsen had a bombshell revelation about Obama’s membership in a Chicago gay club, Man’s Country. Madsen also reported on Obama’s sexual relationships with other men, including named D.C. politicians and Donald Young, an openly gay choir director of the church in Chicago of which Obama was a member for some 20 years — Jeremy Wright’s Trinity United Church of Christ black liberation theology.

Obama’s relationship with Young was confirmed by Larry Sinclair, who claims to have had two sex cocaine trysts with Obama.

There were two other openly gay men in Wright’s church: Larry Bland and Nate Spencer. In late 2007, as Obama began his ascent to be the Democratic Party’s presidential nominee, in one and a half months, all three men “conveniently” died. Bland was murdered execution-style on November 17, 2007; Young was murdered execution-style on December 24, 2007; and Spencer reportedly died of septicemia, pneumonia, and HIV on December 26, 2007.

Now, Young’s elderly mother is speaking out about her suspicions that her son was murdered to protect Obama’s reputation and to ensure his political future as President.

Norma Jean Young, the mother of the late Trinity United Church of Christ choir director Donald Young, has spoken out and declared that persons trying to protect Obama murdered her son at the height of the 2007 Democratic presidential primary to protect Obama from embarrassing revelations about his homosexual relationship with her son. Donald Young’s bullet-ridden body was found in his Chicago apartment on December 23, 2007, in what appeared to be an assassination-style slaying.

Young revealed that her son Donald, who was openly gay, was a “close friend” of Obama. Mrs. Young also believes the Chicago Police Department has not placed a high priority on finding the killers of her son.

Young, a former employee of the Chicago Police Department, said, “There is more to the story,” adding, “I do believe they are shielding somebody or protecting someone.”

The revelations are consistent with information obtained on May 24.

“President Obama and his chief of staff Rahm Emanuel are lifetime members of the same gay bath house in uptown Chicago, according to informed sources in Chicago’s gay community, as well as veteran political sources in the city.” The report added, “WMR spoke to several well-placed sources in Chicago who reported that Jeremiah Wright, the pastor of Obama’s former church of 20 years, Trinity United Church of Christ (TUCC) on Chicago’s south side, ran what was essentially a matchmaking service for gay married black professional members of the church, including lawyers and businessmen, particularly those with children.

The matchmaking club was called the ‘Down Low Club’ but references to it over the phone and email simply referred to the group with the code phrase ‘DLC.’ The ruse, according to our sources, was to make anyone who was eavesdropping on the communications [FBI wiretaps in the Rod Blagojevich case likely contain such references] believe that the references were to the Democratic Leadership Council, also known as the DLC . . . Among the members of the gay ‘DLC’ were Obama and TUCC’s choir director, Donald Young, an openly gay man who reportedly had a sexual relationship with Obama.

Two other gay members of the church were Larry Bland and Nate Spencer. Young and Bland were brutally murdered, execution style, in late 2007. Bland was murdered on November 17, 2007, and Young on December 24, 2007. The latter was killed by multiple gunshot wounds. Spencer died on December 26, 2007, of ‘septicemia, pneumonia, and HIV.’”

Larry Sinclair, the gay man who claimed to have had two sexual encounters with Obama in Chicago in 1999, wrote a book, “Cocaine, Sex, Lies & Murder,” in which he states that Obama was linked to Young’s murder. Sinclair wrote that he was in contact with Young shortly before his murder and Young revealed his relationship with Obama. At the time of his revelations about Obama at a National Press Club news conference, the veracity of Sinclair’s story was doubted due to the absence of corroborating evidence coupled with a bizarre news conference.

Since then, various competing camps, including the Hillary Clinton and John McCain campaigns, have co-opted Sinclair’s story and his revelations for their own political purposes. Sinclair, it should be noted, has not deviated from his original story or charges against Obama.

On June 19, 2008, a report surfaced saying, “WhiteHouse.com held a news conference following Sinclair’s at which a video of Sinclair’s polygraph was to be shown. After experiencing technical difficulties with the video presentation, Parisi abruptly canceled the news conference and took no questions.”

The aborted news conference was as bizarre as Sinclair’s. Sinclair was arrested by Washington, DC police following his news conference based on a warrant from Delaware issued by Vice President candidate Joseph Biden’s son, Delaware Attorney General Beau Biden. The Delaware charges against Sinclair were later dropped.

Sinclair’s book is now the subject of a defamation lawsuit brought by Dan Parisi, the proprietor of the website, Whitehouse.com, who is mentioned in Sinclair’s book concerning his involvement in polygraphs administered to Sinclair after he made his allegations against Obama public during the 2008 presidential campaign. The lawsuit is being handled by Patton & Boggs law firm, which represented Karl Rove in the Valerie Plame Wilson/CIA leak and filed against Sinclair, his publishing company, and distributors, including Barnes and Noble and Amazon.com in the U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia. Sinclair is currently a resident of Florida.

The lawsuit against Sinclair has been assigned to Judge Richard Leon, the Republican deputy chief minority counsel on the House Select Committee to Investigate Covert Arms Transactions with Iran, aka, the Iran-contra scandal. From 1988 to 1989, he served as Deputy Assistant Attorney General, and from 1992 to 1993 was the Republican chief minority counsel on the House Foreign Affairs Committee’s October Surprise Task Force investigating the 1980 Reagan-Bush campaign’s secret dealings with Iran to ensure the defeat of President Jimmy Carter.

Leon was nominated for the federal bench by President George W. Bush on September 10, 2001, and his involvement in so many high-level cover-ups of White House misconduct makes him an illogical choice to hear a case involving serious allegations against Obama.

Blagojevich’s defense in his federal corruption trial is slated to begin today, June 3, 2010, in Chicago. Judge James Zagel has denied the defense’s request for all the government’s wiretaps to be played. The tapes contain some earthy references to Obama’s and his chief of staff Rahm Emanuel’s homosexual habits.

Sinclair said he believed the Obama White House is trying to have his book withdrawn from circulation to avoid embarrassment about Obama’s homosexual past and the possible involvement of his top lieutenants in Young’s murder. In May 2008, a Chicago private detective said he believed Young was “rubbed out” because of his relationship with Obama.

Sinclair has echoed the private eye’s beliefs about Young and Obama. Reports before his death, are that Young was planning to flee to Africa to teach. The information was provided by Young’s mother, who also now fears for her life and plans to leave her Peoria, Ill. home for a secret location after the Chicago police warned her that her life is in danger.

Desperate to get back into radio, I answered an ad in the Times-Standard for KERG in southern Humboldt. The voice on the other end of the telephone instructed me to come to the station right away.

Once at the station I sat down with a short, balding man named Jerry. He was heavy-set with a full beard.

Both stood out on him because of the multicolored-tie-dyed tee-shirt he was wearing. He was, however the station’s owner.

His very first and only question was: Do you have a problem reading live copy on the air about PVC piping.

I told him that I didn’t.

He offered me the job and I accepted without hesitation. It wasn’t until I actually sat down in what he called a control-booth, a desk on a riser surrounded by thick plexi-glass, that I’d learn I had hired on to something strange.

It was wall-to-wall music, same artist, 24-hours a day and in between album sides, I’d read the live copy about PVC piping.  It was the only commerical the station ran while I was there, which was only about two-months.

Furthermore, listeners would come in to the station. Aside from being stoned and free-spirited, they’d start doing things with one another that would make a dog in heat blush.

I lasted only two-months at the job.

A few years later, it would occur to me why PVC piping was so important to the economy of the southern Humboldt town, that the strange people that came into the station were better known as “Deadheads,” and Jerry was and remains an important figure in American rock history.

One early morning my brother was slashed so badly one of his kidneys nearly fell out of his body. It’s an event I’ll never forget.

What I had forgotten though is what led up to this event and caused an ex-girlfriend to hate me with a passion. I didn’t know why she felt like she does till I found an old journal entry yesterday morning about that night’s event.

It had been a number of months since Lora and I had broken up. She was far from my mind as I waltzed down the sidewalk to meet up with my brother and his friend, who were parked in the lot near a restaurant, whose name escapes me now.

I had jus’ been to Kacy’s Supermarket to buy the three of us some generic beer. We had plans to go down to Citizen’s Dock or maybe Endert’s Beach to sit and drink the swill.

That’s where those plans took a sudden turn.

Having jus’ dropped the beer in to my brother’s friend’s car; I heard an awful smashing sound. A large rock or perhaps a piece of cement had been hurled through the front window of Lora’s brother Don’s car.

In Del Norte County, everyone pretty well knows that both the city police and sheriff deputies arrive on the scene of such events rapidly. Such is the nature of a small town.

It was obvious that my brother and his friend knew this as well and they tore out of the parking lot leaving me standing there. So I simply took off running as fast as possible.

My line of flight was back the way I had come. I raced passed the large windows of the supermarket where I was seen by a number of people. These same people would later identify me as the culprit, though none saw what had actually happened.

Later I would manage to link up with my brother and his friend. We would avoid contact with law enforcement until my brother was knifed.