• Commercial Effect

    The six of us had jus’ finished one of Mom’s fantastic spaghetti meals. And we were all sitting around the table contemplating what sort of desert Mom might surprise us with.

    Without warning Marcy, our youngest sister, started rubbing her belly as if she’s were so full she couldn’t dare think of eating anything else. Her gesture was so animated that we stopped talking long enough to watch her.

    Then as if she were part of the once-famous commercial advertising Alka-Seltzer, she grinned and announced, “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing!”

    We all jus’ busted up laughing.

  • First Names

    We were visiting Mom and Del for the weekend. It would be a quick trip since the bride and I had to be back to work on Tuesday.

    It was spur of the moment trip so it was a nice surprise that we were able to bring Kyle along with us. He was living with his mother and going to pre-school and I was fearful that our weekend trip might interfere with his class schedule.

    Kyle was having a grand time playing with an old stool with a cotton-filled cushion on top of it and an old broom handle. Grandpa Del had given him permission to beat on the stool with the long piece of wood.

    Kyle had never been what one would call a talker and seemed to play well by himself. As he whacked the stool over and over, Mom, Del, Mary and I chewed the fat.

    For whatever reason, I called Kyle over saying, “Come here.”

    I told him to tell Grandma Margie his name.

    Much to my astonishment and Mom’s displeasure, he looked her straight in the face and said, “Come here.”

    It was time I started to remember to preface my request with his first name from then on.

  • Rigor Mortis

    “Let’s quickly load him and get out of here,” Barney said to me.

    We were standing knee keep in a Wyoming snow field easing the dead and frozen body onto the stretcher. Our breaths came quickly like puffs of smoke, which hung in the air momentarily, but rapidly, fell to earth as it froze.

    I worked quietly, but I knew Barney on the other hand, had to keep talking, as it was his nervous habit to chatter while around a body.
    “Damned bag,” Barney growled.

    He had been fumbling with the olive-green piece of plastic for a couple of minutes. The zipper was stuck, than it tore. He wadded it up and tramped back to the waiting ambulance.

    When he returned he carried a folded sheet. Barney flicked it out, still holding onto the edge and let the white material float down on the body until it was draped.

    I moved quickly around the stretcher tucking in the outside edges and clicking the safety belts in place to hold the body onto the stretcher.

    Together the two of us gently lifted the stretcher until the wheels locked into place. Then we muscled it through the snow to the running ambulance.

    “Help me get him turned around,” I demanded.

    The body had been loaded feet first which did not look right. Barney shook his head from side-to-side and turned to crawl into the front of the cab.
    “He’s dead, Tommy. What’s it matter?”

    I sighed loudly as I buckled the safety strap back into place.

    Soon I was up front as well, in the driver’s seat. Barney reached over and picked up the microphone to call in their position ad estimated time of arrival.

    I let out the emergency brake and the ambulance moved forward through the snow.

    As soon as Barney hung up the microphone he turned on the heater full blast. He knew that if his feet were cold than my feet must be frozen since I had suffered frost bite less than three months ago and was in constant pain when my toes grew cold.

    “Thanks, Barney,” I said cheerfully as I secretly wiggled my painful toes.

    Within minutes we were passing through the gates of the base. It had started snowing again covering the gray asphalt over in white.
    I flipped on the windshield wipers on, then grabbed up the microphone.

    Suddenly Barney’s eyes grew wide and his chatter became a stammer. I looked at my partner, then caught movement out of the corner of my right eye.

    The fact that the movement was startling and that Barney screamed caused me to react by slamming on the brakes. With that, the ambulance started to slide, the rear end swinging hard to the left.

    Jus’ then Barney went gone wild. He was unbuckled and standing hunched, back against the windshield, when he reached down and flung his door open, bailing out into the whiteness.

    Within seconds the ambulance came to a stop. It rested sideways in the street, its front wheels touching the curb of the sidewalk.

    I popped open my door and bolted like a coyote held in captivity.

    Several strides from the ambulance I regained my wits and jogged back to the ambulance as a security police cruiser pulled up. Staff Sergeant Jenkins got out and walked over to me, where I explained what happened.

    We walked over to where the ambulance had started sliding to see if Barney was injured, laying in the snow. We found nothing but a couple of foot print jus’ beyond the curb.

    Barney later explained that he saw the body slowly sit up. Then it started to reach out towards him.

    “That’s when I jumped out,” he said, adding “I didn’t stop running until I reached the hospital.”

  • My Job

    It had been hanging in the front foyer of our home for as long as I could remember. I was surprised to see that Mom had left it behind when she decided to move her and my siblings to Fortuna following her and Dad’s divorce.

    Finding the house empty was a shock. I had no idea she had left and it would be sometime before I would learn the details of their move.

    It was the day following my birthday and I had hiked out of the hills behind the house after spending a few weeks in the woods. I was busy licking my injured pride after getting fired from the Air Force.

    Called, “My Job,” it seemed appropriate after what had jus’ happened in my life.

    It’s not my place
    To run the train.
    The whistle I can’t blow.

    It’s not my place
    To say how far
    The trains allowed to go.

    It’s not my place
    To shoot off steam
    Nor even clang the bell.

    But let the damn thing
    Jump the track…
    And see who catches hell!

    I decided to tuck in my backpack as I left the home I had grown up in.

  • Getting a Head

    It was the start of the weekend and many of us decided to head over to the NCO club.  As I understand, somewhere around midnight a couple of the guy’s decided to drag me away from the bar and “escort” me home.

    I don’t remember this as I was pretty tight.

    When I woke up the following Saturday morning, I rolled over to find myself safely in my rack. I laid there for a few minutes dreading the possibility of a hangover, but none was detected.

    Finally, I decided to get up, shower and head for the chow-hall. It wasn’t until I had stood up that I discover an object that should have never been between my blankets, in my room or the barracks.

    It was human skull! And I knew exactly where it had come from—our anatomy lab on the USAF/SAM campus.

    If caught with it, I’d get in trouble. If caught with it, whomever put it in bed with me, would get in trouble and I didn’t want either to occur.

    Thinking fast, I popped loose the metal panel of my wall locker and places the skull in the vacant space under the panel. I knew it would be secure there until I could sneak it back into the lab.

    Unfortunately, before I could return it, the skull was discovered to be missing. Now there was no way I could smuggle it back into the lab and return it to its headless skeleton.

    Refusing to panic, I went to the base exchange bought a small box, wrapped the skull in several pages from the San Antonio News, and I mailed to my brother Adam in Klamath.

  • Hollywood Style

    The idea of getting on a horse’s from behind is stuff seen only in movies; planting both hands on the animal’s rump, spring up and into the saddle. It’s the favorite horse mounting technique of folks like Tom Mix, Gene Autry and Roy Rogers.

    Having enjoyed their movies throughout the years, and having had access to horses and saddles as a kid, I had learned how to do this sort of mount. I called it, “Hollywood Style.”

    I ended up promising a display of my skill once back at the stables.

    Once there, I dismounted, backed up a few feet, then raced forward. I placed both hands firmly on the horse’s backside and leaped up and forward.

    Unfortunately, the horse put his head down to take a bite of hay, changing the arch of its back. I sailed right over the saddle, right over the horse’s shoulders, right over its neck and right over the head.

    My legs were splayed out from side-to-side and there was no way to recover. I landed with an awful thud, hard on my butt.

    They say it’s not bragging–if you can do it.

  • Accessory

    It was hard to hear, as the judge rapped his gavel on his bench as sentenced Adam to state prison. He had been found guilty of shooting a man so he and another guy to harvest his pot field.

    We knew he was going to have to serve time since being arrested for this late the year before. However Adam was reticent to share the details of what had happened and instead chose to hide his fear of the big-house behind a macho bluff.

    As we gather inside the courtroom, we found out why he didn’t want to tell us what had happened. While he didn’t pull the trigger, he was an accessory to the crime and that made it jus’ as bad as if he were the killer.

    We realized that the man, Michael Clawson, who had died, was shot in the back as he was trying to get away from my brother and the man he was with by the name of Scott Nelson. I remember my stomach churning in a sickening grind as it dawned on me that this was a cold-blooded murder.

    Adam was instructed to make arrangements to turn himself in. Once there, he was given a month to get his affairs in order before he was to enter lock-up.

    By this time the rest of the family had started up the coast towards home, including my bride and Adam’s then-wife, Sonja. This left Adam and I alone as we travelled back to Hydesville, where he lived.

    It was a frustrating drive for me as I had to listen to Adam tell me how tough he was and how nobody really knew the “real him.” I understood that it was all a bluff on his part to mask his fear, shame and anger.

    As it would turn out, Adam wouldn’t end up being incarcerated at San Quentin as he was first told. It was decided that due to over crowding he’d do his time in a Mendocino County jail cell.

    Adam really thought he was going to get rich by raiding this pot field. Unfortunately Adam’s greed proved also to be his downfall.

  • The Reanimation of Samuel Hardy

    It was the final weekend of the summer and Billy and Paul pointed their BMX bicycles westward down the old dirt road and the best place to do some high jumps and hard landings in the area. They pedaled to the abandoned Toano rock quarry in an effort to forget school was to start the coming Monday.The two 12-year olds slipped through the cyclone fencing which had been pried loose by a group of teenaged boys the summer before in search of a place to drink stolen bottles of beer. The chain links had been turned upward and hooked to the upper edge of the fence. It was a hole just large enough to allow a BMX bike through as long as the rider wasn’t on it.Down inside the quarry, the boys raced over huge piles of gravel. They leaped their bikes as high as possible and landed with enough control to continue racing around the site.

    “Up there,” Billy pointed. “That where I wanna go,” he said to Paul.

    They rode up to the crest of the quarry and looked down into the gapping pit, searching for what they called “a good line,” to ride down.

    Each boy moved back and forth looking over the high edge for a possible trail to the bottom. Neither one wanted to make the lengthy trip around the lip of the quarry and admit defeat at not finding a more direct path down to the bottom.

    “Well, do you wanna try it?” Paul asked.

    Billy looked down the proposed “line,” and shrugged, “As long as we go slowly the first time.”

    He was worried about the possibility of falling down the side of the quarry and landing in the jagged rocks below. They pushed their bikes out onto the embankment and faced them down hill.

    Billy was in the lead. He had only gone a few feet when his front wheel knocked an object loose from the earth. Paul saw it roll down the face of the cliff and he stopped to look at it was, because it didn’t appear to be a normal looking stone.

    As he inched his way closer to the ledge and looked over, he was horrified to see a human skull with vacant eye sockets peering straight back at him. He quickly scrambled away for the edge of the rock face and yelled for Billy.

    “Stop!” Paul nearly screamed.

    Billy skidded his bike to a stop and turned around in the seat to look back at his friend. He saw Paul sitting on the ground with his back against the stony face and he had a look of fear on his face.

    “What is it?” Billy asked in an impatient tone of voice.

    Paul looked at him and answered, “I think it’s a skull of a dead person.”

    The sun was starting to fade and the teams of Elko County deputies and Nevada state troopers were still searching for remains along the wall of the rock quarry. It was estimated that they had discovered 22 unmarked graves in a quarter acre patch of ground.

    Detective Leach was on a cell-phone talking, “Each body is in a wooden casket.”

    A voice on the other end of the cell-phone asked, “Are they buried at various depths?”

    Leach responded, “Yeah, some a couple feet down others deeper.”

    “It sounds like an old cemetery, maybe a forgotten family plot,” the voice said. It belonged to Nevada state archeologist Walt Franco. He was the states leading authority on all matters regarding historical artifacts.

    Then Franco added, “I’m on my way.”

    By sun up, Franco had led the two teams to the remainder of three more caskets. They each had been photographed and a detailed map had been drawn showing each body’s exact location.

    “Look at this Walt,” one of the state troopers said.

    When Franco viewed what the trooper had found it left the scholar puzzled. There was no getting around the fact that the body in the old wooden box had been moved after death.

    The box lid had the letters “SH,” and the number “54” written on it. They were formed by using brass tacks; however it wasn’t the only casket to be marked in such a way. What made it so unusual was the fact that both thigh bones had been laid out to create an “X” over the chest of the body and the skull was replaced in an upside down position.

    Each body was removed and taken to the state lab in Reno for further study. Meanwhile Franco went to Carson City to search the state achieves. He needed to do some research and it didn’t take him long to find what he had been looking for.

    He picked up the telephone in his office and dialed. A few seconds later a woman answered.

    “Hello,” she said.

    “Good morning, Sandra,” he replied.

    Sandra Goodall glanced at the clock on top of her bed stand. It wasn’t even 8 o’clock yet.

    She asked, “Do you know this is Sunday?”

    Franco said that he did. Then he told her what had been unearthed at the abandoned rock quarry. Goodall was suddenly awake and the fact that it was the latter part of the weekend no longer mattered.

    She hurriedly dressed after hanging up with Franco. She could hardly wait to get to the state lab and start her examinations. She realized that this case could be the thesis she had been wishing for in her lengthy process for a PhD.

    Franco flipped through the yellow leafs of paper. It was a land registration book that had been buried in an estate sale and he had purchased for the sum of one-dollar. The leather-bound book had been a solid source for Franco on a number of occasions.

    He ran his finger down page 92 and found what he had been looking for: Hardy. It was the name of the family who had first settled the area prior to the year 1850. The last name fit with the “H” on the coffin.

    Franco turned on his computer. After waiting for it to come to life, he typed in the name, Hardy.” Much to his surprise he found a list of names including a “Samuel,” who was listed as having been “put to death by hanging” in 1871.

    While, Franco believed he has resolved who the family plot belong too and the possible identity of “SH,” he still had no answers as to why “SH” had been defiled they way that he had been.

    It was early Monday morning when Franco drove into Toano. He was there to see if he could find any records on the Hardy family. Within and hour he had an answer to his puzzle.

    Franco found a cracked, red leather bound book in the counties library that contained hand written notes from the Toano’s town meetings. As he read it, he tried to imagine the scene.

    It was 1883 and Samuel Hardy’s eldest son, Eli was asked to appear before the towns elders. It seemed that they had a strange request to ask of him.

    “We’d like permission to open you’re fathers grave and stake his body to the ground,” one of the men said.

    Another piped in, “We want this to above board.”

    “Why do you want to do this?” Eli asked.

    The group of elders looked about at one another, and then someone answered, “We have reason to believe your father, Samuel Hardy is a vampire.”

    Eli was silent as he reflected on the fact that his father had been hanged for murder. It was not a pleasant thought. He was nearly 17 years old when his father was found visiting the decaying body of a young woman he had killed nearly three-weeks before.

    It took less than a day for a jury to find him guilty and sentence him to death by hanging. Eli still heard the endless whispers about his family and had on more than one occasion thought of leaving Nevada for land out west of the Sierra Nevada mountain range.

    He also thought about the rumors about hundreds of sheep, cows and horses found dead. He also knew that several young women had been attacked in the 12 years his father had been executed; some had even been killed.

    Eli himself had told his wife Sarah on more than one occasion that he had felt his father’s presence. Fearing that he might be accused of being in league with a murderer or worse, a vampire, Eli Hardy quickly consented.

    “You have my permission,” he said.

    That same day a small group of men went out to the Hardy family cemetery and located Samuel’s grave. Four men set about the task of digging up the casket. Also present was one of Toano’s priests, its medical doctor and a mysterious figure from Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

    Once the earth was pulled away, one of the four men digging used the edge of his spade to pry off the top of the box. Inside they found only the bones of the deceased Samuel Hardy. There was nothing left to stake the body to the ground.

    However the mysterious stranger recommended a course of action to prevent even the bones of Samuel Hardy from rising again. Quickly, they did as was recommended then returned the body back to the earth.

    That was nearly 135 years ago. Now the body of Samuel Hardy was lying on a chrome steel table in the state medical lab. Sandra Goodall was completing the final examination of the man’s skull.

    She had been working on what had been dubbed by the local press as the “Hardy Project” for the last eight months. Goodall had compiled hundreds of pages of notes and felt certain that she was nearly done with the 25 bodies. Soon they would all be returned to Toano for reburial in one the local cemetery.

    “SH,” or Sam as he was affectionately known, was the last body that she documented. Goodall had found that he had lived the hard life of a farmer, possibly raising sheep or cattle for a living.

    Sam had died at the age of 54. At the time of his death, he had an open wound on his lower right leg that probably caused him to limp. Goodall had also discovered a trace of white growth attached to the outer tips of the Sam’s rib cage.

    She concluded that Sam had the consumption. Today it was known as tuberculosis. Goodall theorized that it had been a fairly slow process and agonizingly painful for Sam. She also noted that two vertebrae in his neck had been crushed.

    Goodall had painstakingly glue the shattered bones back together. She wanted a clear idea of what had killed Sam. She deducted that he had probably choked to death before his vertebrae gave way under the weight of his body.

    Her conclusions were backed up by historical facts that Franco had found in the same months he spent investigating the small family plot. He discovered that Toano had been plagued by a severe case of consumption in the late 1800’s. He also had the record of Samuel Hardy’s execution and the later defilement of the single grave from the red-leather book.

    Franco also found a rare instance where a 19-year-old woman named Mercy Brown of Exeter, Rhode Island was exhumed after it was suspected she was a vampire and feeding on her brother Edwin.

    Rhode Island archivists Anne Paulo told Franco, “Mercy’s heart was removed, burnt and the ashes were fed to Edwin as a remedy.”

    The rearranging of the bone was a harder puzzle to solve for Franco. He had to look over seas for his answers. And it was in Ireland and Egypt that he found it. Both countries had historical references to “decapitating bodies,” and used the skull and cross bone symbol to denote the possibility of the “walking dead.”

    Sandra Goodall placed the skull of Samuel Hardy at the top of the body. It was the first time in about 125 years that his body had actually been assembled in its proper form. She sighed as she looked at the old man’s bones. Goodall decided she would deal with his remains on Monday.

    “It’s the weekend and you can wait a couple more days, Sam” she said aloud as she turned to switch off the lab’s lights and lock the door.

    It wasn’t until Monday morning that the bones were discovered to have been stolen. The state police investigated and concluded that someone had been hiding inside the building when Goodall was locking up.

    “She never had a chance,” the detective said. Then he added, “He attacked her from behind, but I think she got a piece of him.”

    “What makes you say that?” asked another investigator.

    “Look at the blood trail,” he answered, “whoever did this was dragging his right leg slightly.”

  • One Threatening Call

    It was jus’ another overnight shift at country radio station KIIQ, but that quickly changed. I answered the studio line and was told by the male voice on the other end that he had me in his sights at that moment.

    Being a smart-aleck, I asked, “What sort of weapon is your sight affixed too?”

    Chillingly, he answered, “A 30-06 rifle.”

    Our on-air studio, located on in a secured business office on Neil Road, had a large glass window that overlooked a parking lot. Since it was dark, I couldn’t see anything beyond my own reflection in the glass.

    My reaction was to drop to the floor and crawl out of the control room, into the production room next door. Once there I called Reno police, who told me that they were sending a unit over right away.

    Next I called the program director, Tony Thomas. He talked me through the steps I needed to take in order to switch our operations from the control room to the production room.

    Several police officers arrived and started looking around the outside of the building for anyone they thought looked suspicious. One officer took my statement, but told me there wasn’t much they could do unless the caller actually did something to me.

    It was very long morning and I was happy to have my replacement show up, A Sparks police officer, (whose name escapes me at the moment.)  He had me transfer the on-air operations back to the studio as he started work.

    As I did this, he placed his .357 magnum service revolver on the counter next to him. Then he looked at me with a mischievous grin.

    I waited for the sun to throw some light on the ground before I headed out to my car to drive home.

  • Letter Perfect

    It’s obvious I bit off more than I could chew emotionally. My day started with a little research project by looking through a box of old letters from 1979 to mid-1980.

    What I found there left me hurt. I think it’s safe to share this as anyone who knew me when I was 19-20 years old will attest to what I’m about to say about myself.

    I was immature, self-centered, and ignorant of others feelings. Ouch!

    The letters I read, I had not picked up since I first found the majority tossed in the trash when my parents split the bed-sheet. Others were letters that I had saved since they were sent to me.

    Through a period of a year and a half, I can read the painfully honest thoughts my mother was laying down about how life was changing for her, my siblings and my father. I didn’t grasp the seriousness and hurt she was expressing to me.

    She was worrying about her children, (me in the service) her marriage falling apart and the possible loss of the house. My response was to whine, bitch and complain about how rough I was having it. 

    In yet another set of letters from the same period, I discovered how shallow my ability to communicate was at the time. My friend, Nancy Jessop (now Williams) tried to point out how shut-down I was towards her and everyone else around me.

    She also told me to learn to tell my own stories, not my fathers. I didn’t realize I had been doing that until she put it in my ear.

    So how did I respond? I shutdown and I shut her out, like I appear to have done to many people over the years.

    About 9-years ago I had a crisis that opened nearly every wound I had in my emotionally scarred frame. Since that time I’ve been a work-in-progress, which is what I should have been all along.

    That’s why I felt hurt after I re-read all those letters. Fortunately, old dogs can learn new tricks and I’m able now to share how depressing it is to learn that I’m really not perfect and that I never will be.