The Communists took over and decided to execute their political rivals using the guillotine.

The Constitutionalist came first. When the Executioner released the rope, the blade refused to budge. He declared it a miracle and let the prisoner walk free.

Next came the Capitalist. When the Executioner released the rope, the blade moved only half way down. Again, he declared it a miracle, and the him go.

Finally came time for the Democrat to be executed. While being readied, he looked at the Executioner and said, “If you put a little machine oil in the blade’s tracks, it’ll work better.”

My high school U.S. history teacher, Mr. Costello assigned the class a report. I ended up doing mine on President Franklin Roosevelt.

Evidently, Mr. Costello wasn’t impressed with my artwork. He wrote over it, commenting on everything from content, to capitals, sentence structure and grammar.

For three nights in the Spring of 1977, I banged out eleven pages of report on an old broke-down manual typewriter I’d been using since I was at least nine-years-old. Sometimes I miss the clickety-clack and ding of the obsolete.

While I tossed the report away in a fit of anger because of the way he graded it, I kept the cover page anyway, because I thought that it was pretty good. Hell, I still think it’s pretty good.

While digging around in our attic, sorting out my camping gear, I discovered a shit-load of poems I wrote between September 2001 and February 2003. A lot of that time, I spent off the grid, running from myself and eventually addressing life’s problems.

There are at least 500 pages that I now need to deal with. Questions include do I even wanna post them?  And if I post them, should I go for broke and post them all or should I be selective? Finally, how do I post them; type each out or do I simply scan them and then post them?

HELP!

Robbie Cheadle is the woman behind the website, ‘Roberta Writes.’ She recently penned a flash-fiction story titled, “Lavender not Forever,” that I found kinda erotic, so added to it, only this time from the gardener’s point of view…

John watched as the woman, either mad with joy, anger, perhaps both, ripped her grandmother’s lavender plants from their mooring. As the gardener, John had spent nearly 20-years caring for the old woman’s plants and upon seeing Nettie in her state of rage, he wanted to be angry with the granddaughter.

Instead, he explored Nettie’s features, her standing there in her newly inherited garden, skirt hiked high, panties slightly showing, satin blouse clinging to her sweat-soaked breasts.  It was then that he realized that the more he saw, the more he thought himself a bumblebee, lengthy proboscis searching Nettie’s nectar.

UPDATE 3: Edward Culver Hughes IV was taken into custody by the Del Norte County sheriff’s office following a three-hour stand-off on February 18, 2019. He is charged with homicide and bail has been set at $1 million.

UPDATE 2: The Del Norte County Sheriff’s office has identified the body as that of Emiley Tesch-Hughes. Her husband, Edward Culver Hughes IV is a person of interest in her death, but they need your help in finding him. Please call the DNSO at (707) 464-4191 ext. 6, or sheriff investigators directly at (707) 951-7530 if you’ve seen him or know where he might be.

UPDATE 1: The remains of a body have been found inside a closet of the Hughes home.  The Del Norte County Sheriff’s office is not releasing the name of the body until an autopsy is completed and the next of kin has been notified.

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The Del Norte County Sheriff’s Office is asking for your help in finding a missing 31-year-old woman. Believed to be in Eureka, California, Emily Tesch-Hughes was last seen December 23, 2018, in her hometown of Crescent City, California.

Emiley’s described as five-foot, four-inches tall, weighs about 145 pounds and has blonde hair and brown eyes. If you have any information about where she is, please call the DNSO at (707) 464-4191, ext. 6.

Be fierce like a lion, strong like a bear, confident like the eagle and fart like a buffalo.

Making ‘duck lips’ at the camera is the real facecrime.

For days I’ve been searching everywhere I could think for my Hank Bauer baseball card. The reason I wanted it is because my blogging-friend GP Cox, who publishes, ‘Pacific Paratrooper,’ posted a story about the ballplayer turned manager.

So why is this particular card so important to me? In a nutshell: Bauer is a Marine.

A month after the Japanese Imperial Navy’s attack on Pearl Harbor, Bauer enlisted in the U.S. Marine Corps, serving with the 4th Raider Battalion and G Company, 2nd Battalion, 4th Marines. During 32-months of combat, he earned 11 campaign ribbons, two Bronze Stars, two Purple Hearts and the Navy Commendation Medal.

Wounded a second time during the Battle of Okinawa, Bauer was a sergeant in command of a platoon of 64 Marines. While the Japanese Imperial Army’s counter attack left Bauer so badly wounded that he had to be evacuated to the U.S., only six of the original 64 Marines in his platoon survived the battle.

Anyway, as a kid, I wasn’t very interested in collecting baseball cards. I preferred collecting comic books instead.

The same can be said now that I’m an adult. However, somewhere through the years I came into possession of a single collector’s box of baseball cards – mostly from the 1970’s.

There are only a couple of ball players that I recognize, including Tug McGraw and Rollie Fingers. Then there was the only 1960’s autographed card in the box, Hank Bauer of the Kansas City Athletics.

Since he is a Marine, I thought I had pulled the card from the box and placed it in my ‘special drawer,’ where I keep my other prized Marine Corps items. Unfortunately, the card wasn’t there and for the life of me I couldn’t begin to think where it might have gone.

Feeling down about having lost the card, I pulled the collectors box of from my closet shelf and began thumbing through them. You know, jus’ in case…

And with five cards left, near the end of the box, guess what I found? Yup, evidently, I placed it back in the box with the other cards.

Instead of simply giving illegal aliens a Visa, lets give them an American Express, too.