Since lawyers are disbarred and clergymen are defrocked, it follows that cowboys can be deranged.

Some people always appear to be at the apex of their career.

“I found this assignment impossible to complete,” she told the teacher.

“Why, it was a simple assignment – used the word ‘protagonist’ in a short story,” replied the instructor.

“But I don’t speak that way,” she said. “I’d say, ‘the leader,’ or something like that.”

The instructor smiled, “I know, that’s why the assignment – to move you outside your comfort zone, causing you to rethink how you write.”

She sighed, knowing that her argument was sunk, “Well, is there anyway I can make up the assignment?”

“Sure,” smiled the teacher, “Write me a short story using the word you were assigned.”

Good men do exist — we’re jus’ ugly.

My friend’s getting married for a second time and again, I’m his best man. So, I’m thinking of opening my toast with, “Welcome back, everyone…”

“Whoa,” Ellis complained, “I certainly tied one on last night.”

“Yeah, we know,” stated Perkins, “Saw you in all of your glory, too and I know I speak for all the other fellas when I say ‘we’re glad you got some clothes on this morning.’”

The other six men in the bunk house laughed, as Perkins added, “And we seen two worms last night – yours and the bottles.”

An embarrassed Ellis replied, “Sorry guys. Glad we weren’t in town ‘cause Tequila leaves me feeling amorous.”

“That ain’t what we call it ‘round here,” Perkins chuckled, “We call that getting nekked.”

The three men stood in the doorway, watching Jodi return on foot, looking like he’d been in a fight.

“What happened to you?”

“Where’s your horse?”

“It was the bull, wasn’t it?”

“Harmless and docile, my ass! If I’d of had my pistol, I’d of shot that maniacal son-of-a-bitch!” Jodi stated, “It came charging out of nowhere, knocked me outta my saddle, chased off my mount to god-knows-where, rolled me in the dirt three times, before treeing me for several hours.”

“He’s usually peaceable,” the cook chuckled, “but it’s breeding season.”

“Now you say!” Jodi responded while glaring at him.

Nobody ever blames the gun when a cop shoots someone.

It took a year, but my patience has paid off — my truck clock is correct once again.

The only man who ever really had to worry about ‘change,’ was Adam. After all, he fell asleep and when he woke up, he was married to Eve.