• Lego vs. Coral

    “Stepping on a Lego ain’t nothin’. Try steppin’ on live coral!” the old man grinned, “Ain’t never seen a piece of plastic cause a life threatenin’ infection like they can.”

    He held up his right foot, showing-off the scars the healed infection had left.

  • Phone Booth

    Oh, London, England, how you fool me every time. Stepped into one of your big, charmingly red phone booths and found myself teleporting through space, caught in a futuristic gun-battle between H.G. Wells and Gene Roddenberry, that George Lucas eventually won.

  • Shine

    we are worlds apart
    our stars shall not shine at all
    in the same night

  • Frosty the Snowman, Reimagined

    Christmas came, Christmas went and still “Frosty,’ sang and danced about the countryside. The avowed bachelor decided to put a stop to it. Besides, he had a use for that old silk hat. She was waiting in his bedroom, yet to be filled with air.

  • After Christmas

    Eve of Christmas:
    All presents opened,
    Dinner is eaten,
    Family, friends gone.
    I find myself both
    Satisfied and let down.

  • Coal

    Tommy secreted his way to his bedroom to cry, once he discovered his fall from grace. After all, he was the one one who had a stocking filled with coal.

  • Little Dolly

    “See?” mother offered, “I told you Santa would get your letter even though you misspelled his name.”

    The little girl blushed, recalling how she had printed ‘Satan,’ instead of ‘Santa.’ She loved her Christmas gift; a little dolly with blond hair and blue eyes like her own.

    She fell asleep in bed that night clutching her little dolly tightly to her chest. She woke at 3:13 am, with little dolly tightly clutching her throat.

  • Jingle

    in the jingle toll
    of Christmas seasons approach
    a task master calls

  • Basic Lesson No. 25

    While taking an Uber, the driver explains, “I love my job, I’m my own boss, and nobody tells me what to do.”

    “Turn here,” her passenger interrupts.

  • Ladies — quit asking Santa for the perfect man! Three times already he’s tried to kidnap me!