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In the heart of the Adirondacks, where the pines claw at the sky and the lakes shimmer like liquid obsidian, two fishermen stood on the bank of Blackthorn Lake. Amos Reed and Caleb Holt had been coming here since they were boys, their rods extensions of their arms, their silence a language honed over decades.

The lake was their sanctuary, a place to escape the grind of their lives in the nearby mill town of Harrow’s End. Amos, a widower with a limp from a logging accident, carried the weight of a life unlived.

Caleb, a father of three with a wife who’d grown distant, fished to drown out the noise of his regrets. Bound by routine, the rhythm of casting lines, he hoped for the feel of a tug.

Tonight, under a moonless sky, the air was thick with mist. The lake was unnaturally still, its surface a perfect mirror reflecting the gnarled trees. Amos sipped from a flask, the whiskey burning his throat.

“You ever think about what’s down there?” he asked, his voice low, as if afraid to disturb the water.

Caleb, retying his lure, snorted. “Fish. Mud. Maybe some old boots. What else?”

Amos didn’t answer. He cast his line, the sinker plunking into the depths. The ripples faded quickly–as if the lake swallowed them whole.

They fished in silence, the only sound the creak of their reels and the distant hoot of an owl. Then, Amos’s rod jerked.

“Got one!” he grunted, bracing his boots against the muddy bank.

The line went taut, cutting through the water like a blade. Amos reeled, but the resistance was strange—not the thrashing of a fish, but a steady, deliberate pull.

“Feels like I snagged a damn log.”

Caleb squinted at the water. “Ain’t no log. Look at your line—it’s movin’ sideways.”

Amos’s brow furrowed. The line wasn’t just taut; it vibrated, a low hum rising from the water. His hands tightened on the rod, knuckles white.

“What the hell is this?”

Across the lake—or perhaps not across–but a place that wasn’t quite here—a man named Elias Kane stood on another bank. In his reality, Blackthorn Lake was called Mirror’s End, and the town was a crumbling settlement abandoned after a mine collapse.

Elias was a loner, a man who’d lost his brother to the lake years ago when their boat capsized in a storm. He fished to feel close to Jonah, to chase the ghost of his guilt.

His lake was different—its waters glowed faintly, a sickly green, and the air carried a metallic tang. But tonight, his rod had snagged something.

“Caught somethin’,” Elias muttered, his voice rough from disuse.

He tugged, expecting a sunken branch or a rusted relic from the old mine. But the line pulled back–hard, nearly yanking the rod from his hands.

“What in God’s name…?”

Back on Amos’s bank, the pull grew stronger. His rod bent nearly double, the reel screaming. “This ain’t no fish!”

Caleb stumbled forward but froze. The water where Amos’s line entered was bubbling, not with the frenzy of a hooked bass, but with a slow, deliberate churn, like something was rising. “Amos cut the line. Now.”

“You crazy? I ain’t losin’ my gear!” Amos snapped, sweat beading on his forehead.

But his bravado faltered as the hum from the line grew louder, a sound like a tuning fork struck deep underwater. Then, impossibly, a voice carried through the mist—not from the bank, but from the lake itself.

“Who’s there?” it demanded, sharp and panicked. “Let go of my line!”

Amos froze. Caleb’s jaw dropped.

“You hear that?” Caleb whispered.

“Who’s this?” Amos shouted, his voice cracking. “You messin’ with us?”

On Elias’s bank, he heard the reply, faint–as if spoken through a wall.

“Messin’? You’re the one yankin’ my rod! Cut your line, damn it!”

Elias’s heart pounded. He’d fished these waters for years–always alone and never heard a voice from the lake.

He tugged harder, and the line jerked back, a tug-of-war across an unseen divide.

The glowing water rippled, and for a moment, he swore he saw a shadow beneath the surface—not a fish, but a shape, human-like, distorted.

“Caleb, I’m seein’ things,” Amos said, his voice trembling.

The water before him was no longer still. It shimmered, not with moonlight, but with an unnatural sheen, an oil slick with starlight. The line pulled harder, and the voice came again.

“Stop pullin’! You’re gonna drag me in!” Elias’s voice was desperate now, and Amos could hear the fear in it—a fear that mirrored his own.

“Drag you in?” Amos yelled. “You’re the one haulin’ me! Who are you?”

“Name’s Elias! I’m fishin’ Mirror’s End. Where the hell are you?”

“Blackthorn Lake!” Amos shot back. “Ain’t no Mirror’s End ‘round here!”

Caleb grabbed Amos’s arm.

“This ain’t right. Somethin’s wrong with the lake. Cut the damn line, Amos!”

But Amos couldn’t. The pull was relentless, and now the water was parting, revealing not the muddy bottom but a glimpse of another shore—Elias’s shore, with its glowing water and skeletal trees. And there, standing on that alien bank, was Elias, his rod bent, his face pale with terror.

Elias also saw a window through the water, showing Amos and Caleb on a bank that shouldn’t exist. The air between them crackled, the hum now a deafening drone. Each line intertwined across the rift where the realities collided.

“What’s happenin’?” Elias shouted, his voice distorted–as if underwater.
“What is this place?”

“I don’t know!” Amos roared, his arms burning from the strain. “But I ain’t lettin’ go!”

The water churned violently now, and both men saw it—the shape beneath, no longer a shadow but a presence, vast and formless, its edges flickering like static. It wasn’t a fish or a man; it was something older, a being that had waited in the depths of both lakes or perhaps in the space between them, fishing lines anchored to it.

“Amos, it’s pullin’ us both!” Caleb screamed, grabbing the rod to help.

But the force was too strong. Amos’s boots slid toward the water, the bank crumbling beneath him.

On Elias’s side, the same was happening. His boots sank into the mud, the glowing water lapping at his ankles.

“Jonah?” he whispered, half-believing his brother’s ghost was behind this.

But the thing in the water wasn’t Jonah. It was hungry.

“Cut the line!” Caleb begged again, but Amos’s hands were locked, his eyes fixed on Elias through the rift. Elias, too, couldn’t let go, his guilt and grief binding him to the rod as much as the line itself.

The presence surged, and the rift widened. Amos saw Elias’s world fully now—its decayed trees, its toxic glow—and Elias saw Amos’s, with its dark pines and mist. But both saw the thing rising, its form coalescing into something neither could comprehend, a mass of writhing shadows and eyes that burned like dying stars.

“God help us,” Amos whispered.

“Jonah, I’m sorry,” Elias sobbed.

The lines snapped simultaneously, but it was too late. The rift collapsed, and the thing broke free.

Yanked into Blackthorn Lake, Amos and Caleb’s screams were swallowed by the water. Elias vanished into Mirror’s End, his cry echoing across a reality that wasn’t his.

The coming morning, Blackthorn Lake was still again, its surface unbroken. Two rods lay abandoned on the bank, their lines severed.

In Harrow’s End, folks whispered that Amos and Caleb had drowned, but they found no bodies. In Elias’s world, the settlement stayed empty, his rod gone from the shore.

But those who fish Blackthorn Lake at night, or Mirror’s End in that other place, say the water hums sometimes, a low, mournful sound. And if you cast your line too deep, you might feel a tug—not from a fish, but from something waiting, something that pulls across worlds, hungry for the ones who dare snag it.

I never thought I’d live to see the day when a budget could be called “skinny” and still punch like a Virginia City mule, but here we are.

President Donald Trump—God bless his bulldog tenacity—has sent Congress what his people call the “skinny budget” for 2026. It’s a lean, mean, Constitution-cleaning machine aimed squarely at the deep state and any other barnacles clinging to the good ship America.

Now, don’t let the word “skinny” fool you. This budget’s got iron in its spine and brass in its knuckles. It trims the fat from the bloated hindquarters of non-defense discretionary spending—by 23 percent and shovels that money toward something Washington’s forgotten about– defending the country and securing its borders.

Imagine that!

The White House says defense gets a 13 percent boost and Homeland Security nearly 65 percent, which tells me we finally got a commander-in-chief who knows the difference between national defense and national theater. It ain’t about polishing park benches or hosting international tea parties—it’s about boots on the ground and walls on the border.

Bless her dark-hearted soul, but Senator Patty Murray calls this budget dangerous and harmful to working folks. Well, if cutting the IRS, the Department of Education, and foreign cocktail circuits at Foggy Bottom is “harmful,” then I reckon I’ve been harming myself all my life by minding my own business and paying my way.

Meanwhile, Congress is cobbling together what President Trump calls “one big, beautiful bill,” a reconciliation package to extend the beloved 2017 tax cuts, raise the debt ceiling, and give federal spending a diet it ain’t seen since the Hoover administration. Some folks like Miss Romina Boccia from the Cato Institute call this timing “curious,” but I call it courageous. While Congress dithers with its third straight stopgap like an old drunk trying to walk a straight line, Trump’s over here swinging the axe with both hands.

Of course, there’s the usual gnashing of teeth about how this doesn’t solve everything, especially the so-called “entitlement” crisis. But don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the possible.

Medicaid, Medicare, and Social Security–the three sacred cows of Washington, no man’s ever gonna get praised for bringing a butcher’s blade to them. Still, even Boccia admits there’s room to corral Medicaid growth in the reconciliation bill, and by the sound of it, Trump’s crowd wouldn’t mind roping in more if Congress finds its guts.

Now, critics say the budget ain’t got a prayer without some Democrat votes in the Senate. Well, maybe not. But revolutions don’t start in comfort, and reform never did depend on cocktail consensus. What matters is that this administration is saying aloud what the rest of Washington’s been whispering in private: the federal government has wandered far from its rightful corral, and it’s time to drive it back.

As for the national debt—$36 trillion and counting—we didn’t get into that mess with one big, beautiful bill, and we won’t get out with one either. But I’ll tell you this–it’s a far-sight better to see a president swinging for the fences than one building bureaucracies like sandcastles on a floodplain.

So let the critics howl. Let the swamp creatures wail as their feeding troughs run dry. This “skinny budget” ain’t about pleasing Washington—it’s about putting the government on a leash, handing the soldier a rifle, the taxpayer a break, and the country a fighting chance.

And I reckon that’s something worth writing home about.

The sun was a mean ol’ cuss, hangin’ high over Spanish Springs, burnin’ the back of my neck like a brandin’ iron. The Kiley Ranch sprawled out around me, a dusty patch of sagebrush and hardpan, with the Pah Rah Range squattin’ blue and hazy in the distance. It was cattle country, tough as rawhide, and I’d landed here as a hand under Jasper Tuttle, a boss with a stare that could stop a stampede and a sense of humor drier than the playa in July.

We were in the bunkhouse when I let my fool mouth run. Jasper was goin’ on about needin’ hands for some big jobs, and I, bein’ greener than a spring colt piped up.

“Boss,” I said, leanin’ back with a grin, “I’m lookin’ for a spot where I can start at the top. Ain’t cut out for grunt work.”

The other hands choked on their coffee, but Jasper fixed me with his flinty eyes. “Top, huh?” he said slowly like he was sizin’ up a steer. “Well, Tom, I got just the job. West side of the ranch needs a fence. You’re gonna dig pole holes, set posts, and string barbed wire. By yourself. Get movin’.”

My grin slipped like sand through a sieve. “Pole holes?”

“You wanted the top,” Jasper said, a wicked glint in his eye. “Top of them posts is where you’ll start. Now git.”

So here I was, out on the west side of the Kiley, a shovel in my blistered hands, cursin’ my big mouth. The ground was hard as a banker’s heart, baked solid by the Nevada sun, and every hole I dug felt like a personal grudge.

My back ached, my palms were raw, and my only company was the wind whinin’ through the sage and the occasional buzzard circlin’ overhead, bettin’ on when I’d keel over.

By the third day, I was leanin’ on my shovel, sweatin’ buckets, when I spotted a rider comin’ my way. It was Nate Skinner, an old hand with a face like a beat-up saddlebag and a laugh that’d make a mule jump.

“Sierra Tom,” Nate hollered, pullin’ up his gray gelding, “you look like you’re diggin’ to China.”

“China’d be easier,” I growled, spittin’ dust. “Jasper’s got me out here ‘cause I said I wanted to start at the top–am I was jus’ jokin’.”

Nate let out a cackle that echoed across the flats. “Boy, your tongue’s gonna get you hung one day. Jasper’s teachin’ you a lesson, and it ain’t about fences.”

“What’s it about, then?” I asked, drivin’ the shovel into the dirt with a thud.

“Knowin’ your place,” Nate said, leanin’ forward in the saddle. “You wanna be a top hand, you gotta eat some dirt first. Jasper’s been runnin’ the Kiley since afore you was born. He knows how to break a man in.”

“Break’s about right,” I muttered. “This is pure misery.”

“Misery’s what you make it,” Nate said, turnin’ his horse. “Keep diggin’, pard. You’ll come out stronger.”

He rode off, leavin’ me to my shovel and my thoughts. By the seventh day, I was a wreck—hands bleedin’, temper short as a fuse.

But I’d sunk nearly fifty holes, each a little deeper. The posts stood tall, waitin’ for the barbed wire I’d string come mornin’. That night, I sat by a small fire, the stars sharp as spurs over Spanish Springs, when I heard boots crunchin’ on the gravel.

Jasper stepped into the firelight, his shadow stretchin’ long across the dirt. “Still kickin’’?”

“Jus’ barely,” I said, tossin’ a twig into the flames. “You tryin’ to kill me out there, or just make me wish I was dead?”

Jasper chuckled, a low, gritty sound. “You wanted the top, boy. Out here, the top’s earned with sweat and cussin’. You learnin’ that?”

I glanced at the line of posts, their shapes dark against the dusk. “Reckon I am,” I said. “Coulda just told me, though.”

“Ain’t no lesson like the one you dig yourself,” Jasper said, a sly grin tuggin’ at his lips. “Finish the wire tomorrow. Then we’ll see what’s next. Might even let you ride somethin’ besides that shovel.”

He walked off into the dark, leavin’ me to ponder his words. It took me ten days to finish that fence—ten days of blisters, dust, and hard-won wisdom.

When I drove the last staple into the final post, the barbed wire singin’ taut, I stepped back and looked at my work. It wasn’t the top, not by a long shot, but it was somethin’.

A start.

It was May the Fourth, and feeling particularly Jedi-like, I strutted through the galaxy–okay, my local coffee shop–with my lightsaber-shaped straw and a “May the Fourth Be With You” T-shirt.

I’d practiced my best Yoda impression all morning, muttering, “Mmm, coffee, I must have.”

The barista, unimpressed, just raised an eyebrow.

Stepping up to order, I channeled my inner Obi-Wan. “A coffee, you will make me,” I said, waving my hand dramatically, hoping for a laugh.

But then—whoosh—something weird happened. The barista’s eyes widened, and the young woman clutched her throat and started gasping.

My hand was still outstretched, and I froze. Had I caused the barista to choke with my mind?

The other customers stared, wondering if Darth Vader had taken over my body. The barista, thankfully, coughed and waved it off, muttering about allergies.

Quietly, I slunk to a corner booth, vowing never to pretend to do a Jedi mind trick again, and as I sipped my coffee, I heard a kid nearby whisper, “Mom, is that guy a Sith?”

I sank low in my seat.

May the Fourth, ha! More like may the force save me from further embarrassment.

I ain’t pretendin’ to know all the highfalutin’ principles of taxation, depreciation, amortization, or bureaucratic incantation. But I know this–when a man tells you taxes are theft with one side of his mouth and says folks ought to pay to use the roads with the other, you’d best keep one hand on your wallet and the other on your common sense.

Such a man is Ed Lawson, the current mayor of Sparks–a town not known for sparking much but budget shortfalls these days. Mayor Lawson, who’s been piloting the good ship Rail City since 2020, is now bemoanin’ what he calls “the most regressive property tax system in America.”

That’s a bold claim coming from a fellow who thinks taxes are a crime, but toll booths are a civic duty. I’m guessin’ should you slap a price tag on freedom and call it a “user fee,” it don’t feel so larcenous.

According to His Honor, Sparks is about $12 million short of making ends meet, and over in Reno, they’re projecting a $24 million hole in their britches. So what’s the plan? Fire a mess of staffers, skip some fire and police calls, and keep tellin’ folks their quality of life is taking a temporary vacation—destination unknown.

“We don’t get to print money,” Lawson says. No–but you get to vote on how much to take from the folks who earned it.

Now, let me explain the situation as best I can without falling asleep– Nevada’s got this peculiar way of taxing property. The tax rate don’t reset when the house changes hands, and instead of appreciating with the value, it depreciates 1.5 percent each year for 50 years–like a horse that gets slower every mile but keeps fetching a higher price.

So a fancy $2.5 million mansion might get taxed less than a modest new home if it’s older than sin and twice as dusty. Naturally, some legislators want to fix this.

Assemblymember Natha Anderson, for one, is championing a constitutional amendment–Assembly Joint Resolution 1—which would hit the reset button on property tax rates at the time of sale. You sell your house–the buyer pays full freight.

You stay put–you keep your sweet little tax break. The plan is to pump millions back into public coffers, hire more police, and maybe even patch up a pothole.

But wouldn’t you know it, the plan’s got more opposition than a cat in a dog parade. The Nevada Realtors don’t like it. Conservative groups don’t like it. And they all seem to agree on one thing–government should cut their fat before it comes after skinny wallets.

Here’s the kicker–while Lawson scolds the property tax system for being regressive, he’s fond of something called “tolls,” which is a tax you pay to use a road you already bought once with your gas tax, and again with your registration, and maybe thrice with your soul. In the old days, we called that highway robbery.

Nowadays, we call it “infrastructure funding.” So there you have it.

A mayor who says taxation is theft–unless you’re stealing from travelers one car at a time. A legislature wantin’ to fix a broken system by breaking it differently. And a citizenry that ain’t sure they’re bein’ protected or pickpocketed.

As for me, I prefer the old system–if a man builds himself a house, he oughtn’t be taxed half to death for the privilege of keeping it. And if the government can’t afford to mind the roads, maybe they should walk a few miles in our boots.

It appears that Mr. Elon Musk—part-time moonshotter, full-time futurist, and the only man alive who might sell you a spaceship over the internet–has started hiring bodies to build that long-awaited electric behemoth he calls the Tesla Semi.

In the yesteryear of 2017, the thunder-chariot got first trotted out like a prize bull at a county fair. Mr. Musk promised it would revolutionize the roads, turn diesel to dust, and have us all sipping lemonade while electric trucks carried our groceries cross-country without a puff of smoke. Trouble is, that ol’ promise got itself caught in a tumbleweed and blown clear into the next decade.

Fast-forward through a heap of delays, enough hiccups to shame a whiskey still, and just a single truck dropped into the hands of PepsiCo in 2022, who’d placed their order so long ago, they probably forgot they did. Until recently, Tesla had less than a hundred folks hammering away on this project–hardly enough to fix a stagecoach wheel, let alone build a convoy of mechanical giants.

But lo and behold, change is afoot in Storey County. Reports say that more than a thousand new hands are gettin’ wrangled into Tesla’s Gigafactory–a place that’s shaping up to be less factory and more frontier boomtown. They’ll start churning out the elusive electric haulers before the end of 2025 and plan to make up to 50,000 a year if the winds are fair.

Tesla’s now listing job openings like a gold rush saloon listing poker tables–engineers, testers, grease monkeys, and folks to keep things from catchin’ fire. And so the Semi may finally roll out of the mythic realm and into the mud-splattered, pothole-ridden Middle Earth.

In short, Mr. Musk’s dream might be late, but it’s showing up with reinforcements. And if that ain’t progress, then I’m a Methodist.

Here’s a tale that’d make a Gold Hill mule shake its head and roll its eyes back into its skull. It seems we’ve got a stretch of Nevada that’s gone from wide open to wide inviting—if you happen to be a foreign scoundrel with a knack for eluding borders, bullets, and basic decency.

Let us first tip our hats to Audencio Vazquez-Calletano, aged thirty-one, a man of rare persistence and questionable planning. Mr. Calletano, a Mexican national, has been booted from the U.S. three times—May of 2011, February of 2012, and just last June of 2024.

But like a bad penny or a persistent uncle, he keeps turning up. On April 14, the U.S. Border Patrol found him again, living near the dusty outpost of Searchlight, where presumably the air is thin and the patience of federal officers thinner still.

Now, Audencio ain’t just an overachiever in the illegal entry department–he’s got hisself a little California credential too–a felony for taking a vehicle without asking nice. If convicted this time around, he might be trading desert for the cozy confines of a federal cell for up to ten years, with a bonus $250,000 bill and three years of supervised contemplation.

But Mr. Calletano ain’t the whole show.

Step up for the next act in our traveling cavalcade of calamity–Jose Luis Castillo-Alvarez and Kevin Omar Cruz-Lima–two gents whose country of origin remains unsolved, like how Congress still draws a paycheck. From September 2024 to March of this year, these two industrious businessmen were allegedly busy as badgers, shuffling enough heroin, meth, fentanyl, and cocaine around Nevada to start a pharmaceutical empire.

And they weren’t exactly shy about security, either. When apprehended on March 27, they had on hand an AR15 rifle and a homebrew pistol because nothing says customer service like firepower and fentanyl. The law says they were also unlawfully present in the U.S.—fancy that! Alvarez, it seems, got deported back in 2020 but couldn’t resist the siren song of Nevada soil. Their trial kicks off June 30, and if the jury’s got their spectacles polished, these two could be enjoying the view from inside a penitentiary wall for life.

And finally, in what might be called a grim encore, the fine folks at Immigration and Customs Enforcement in Reno recently collared Luis Gomez, another Mexican national who, according to ICE, has a resume that includes sexual assault with a deadly weapon and kidnapping. That ain’t a good neighbor policy. Mr. Gomez has an administrative order of removal, and ICE says he’ll be shipped off “as soon as possible”—which in federal terms could mean anywhere from next week to the next geological epoch.

So, here we are–three stories, one common thread–men who cannot take a hint. One could get forgiven for thinking the border is less of a line and more of a revolving door, oiled by red tape and blessed with a concierge, asleep on the job.

Whilst I ain’t one to sound the alarm every time a tumbleweed rolls ‘cross the road or a stranger tips his hat too slowly, what happened Tuesday afternoon in the good scrublands of Lyon County has folks sharpening their glances and oiling the hinges on their screen doors.

At just about 4:27 in the post meridian–when most honest folks are either boiling beans or wondering if the sun’s gonna fry their garden again–the sheriff’s deputies were summoned to a home out yonder on Grassland Road. The call was about some goings-on that didn’t sit right with a young lady who had been out mindin’ her business and puttin’ shoe to the sidewalk.

Around 4:09 p.m., a white four-door carriage of the modern kind–one of them that look like a boiled egg with wheels–crept up on her. Inside were two grown white fellows, reckon thirty to forty in age, which is just about old enough to know better. One of ‘em sported a goatee, which is facial hair worn by men who either read too much poetry or not near enough, and the other wore a red shirt — a color known to inspire revolution and bulls.

Here’s where things tilt toward the peculiar. One of these fellas leaned out the window and asked the girl to pluck them a flower–a strange request for strangers to make and one that likely set off every common-sense bell in that girl’s head. To her credit, and I believe she deserves some, she did not tarry with flower-picking nor conversation–but lit out of there like a deer who’d heard a rifle’s bolt snap back.

The car rolled eastward toward whatever mischief or misunderstanding awaited it down Grassland Road. The Sheriff’s office says they’re sniffing around for video contraptions that might’ve caught sight of the odd scene and are encouraging any soul with a flicker of information–be it first-hand, second-hand, or off a porch camera — to ring them up at (775) 463-6620.

Now, I ain’t sayin’ the red-shirted gent and his goateed accomplice was up to villainy outright–maybe they’re just awkward suitors from a bygone century–but if you ask a child for a flower from a moving vehicle, don’t be surprised when you find the whole county lookin’ at you sideways.

Now, I ain’t sayin’ the good folks over at DOGE NEVADA are chasin’ windmills, but they are pokin’ their noses into the sort of affairs that make bureaucrats squirm like a cat in a rain barrel. Though they got no tether to Uncle Sam’s Department of Government Efficiency, DOGE NEVADA’s mission is about the same–sniffin’ waste out, fraud, and those curious little financial figments that somehow pass for public service.

The man with the magnifying glass is one Brandon Davis, who’s been keepin’ a keen eye on Nevada’s pocketbook from his perch in Las Vegas for over ten years. He reckons folks didn’t much care what the state was spendin’ on so long as the potholes weren’t eatin’ tires—but now, he says, it’s a “kitchen table issue.”

Reckon it must be, especially if that table’s missin’ a leg from budget cuts.

DOGE NEVADA has dug up some gold nuggets of foolishness–$12 million went to buildin’ a pickleball palace because nothin’ says “fiscal discipline” like subsidized paddle-whackin’ and $9.1 million for high-speed internet in Lovelock that never quite showed up—like a ghost train on a map that leads nowhere.

Davis, who don’t speak like a politician, which is to say, he makes sense, figures that kinda cash could be better used gettin’ folks off the sidewalks and into homes—or givin’ teachers enough of a wage that they don’t have to moonlight as Uber drivers.

Can’t say I disagree.

The DOGE team comes from tech and communication backgrounds, meaning they ain’t diggin’ with shovels but siftin’ through numbers with artificial intelligence and what-have-you. They’ve even got an anonymous tip line where the honest or fed-up can holler about shenanigans in government ledgers. Davis says some folks have been booted right outta their government chairs just for speakin’ truth to power, which is nothin’ new under the sun—but still a scandal.

Now, lest you suspect this all smells of politics, Davis says DOGE NEVADA has no party hat on—just individual donors, no strings. They’re non-partisan, which means they fire at foolishness wherever it sprouts, left, right, or sideways.

In a land built by gamblers and dreamers, it’s nice to see someone bettin’ on accountability, even if the odds ain’t great.

The late afternoon sun hung low over the university town of Arcata, casting long shadows from the four-story Arcata Hotel. I stood outside the entrance, waiting for my buddy Jake to pick me up for work.

The air smelled faintly of jasmine from the planters nearby, and the hum of traffic mixed with the occasional chirp of a sparrow. My knapsack rested by my feet, and I was thumbing a newspaper when the world turned upside down.

A piercing shriek cut through the air–followed by a crash that made my heart lurch. I looked up just in time to see a full-sized tube television hurtling out of a fourth-floor window, its power cord flapping like a useless tail.

It spun end over end, glinting in the sunlight, and I froze, my brain screaming to move, but my legs refusing to obey. The TV smashed into the pavement not two feet away, exploding into a mess of plastic, glass, and sparking wires. Shards skittered across the sidewalk.

“Holy—!” I yelped, stumbling backward.

My heart pounded like a drum, and I stared at the wreckage, trying to process what had just happened. A small crowd—hotel staff, a couple of guests, and a guy with a delivery clipboard—gathered nearby, all gaping at the scene.

From the window above, a woman’s voice bellowed, “And STAY OUT, you cheating piece of trash!”

I craned my neck to see a figure leaning out of room 403, her silhouette framed against the curtains. She was middle-aged, with wild, tangled hair and a bright red bathrobe that flapped in the breeze. Her face flushed, and she was shaking her fist at the sky like she was cursing the gods themselves.

“Ma’am, please.” a nervous voice called from inside the room—probably a hotel employee trying to calm her down. “You can’t throw things out the window. Someone could’ve been hurt.”

“Someone should be hurt!” she roared back. “That TV was his precious baby, and I hope it’s in as many pieces as my heart!”

I exchanged a wide-eyed glance with the delivery guy, who muttered, “Man, she’s lost it.”

The hotel’s front door burst open, and the manager, a wiry man named Grayson, sprinted out. His tie was askew, and his face was a mix of panic and exasperation.

“Is everyone okay?” he shouted, scanning the crowd. His eyes landed on me, standing closest to the wreckage. “Tom, are you hurt?”

“I’m fine,” I said, though my voice shook. “Just…nearly got flattened by a TV, though.”

Grayson winced, running a hand through his thinning hair. “I am so sorry. This is—unprecedented. Please, come inside, we’ll get this sorted.”

Before I could respond, the woman in 403 leaned out again, now holding what looked like a lamp. “You tell that no-good snake I’m not done yet!” she yelled, waving the lamp menacingly.

“Ma’am, put the lamp down!” Grayson shouted, his voice cracking.

He turned to a bellhop who’d just jogged up. “Call the police, now. And get maintenance to block off this area.”

The bellhop nodded and darted back inside while Grayson muttered, “Why did I take this job?”

I couldn’t help but ask, “Who is that up there?”

Grayson sighed, glancing up at the window. “That’s Mrs. Clara Henshaw. Checked in two days ago with her husband. Apparently, she just found out he’s been… less than faithful. She’s been screaming about it since noon, but I didn’t think she’d—well, do this.”

As if on cue, Clara’s voice rang out again. “Forty years, Harold! Forty years, and you throw it away for some floozy in Fortuna?!”

The lamp sailed out the window, landing in a shrub instead of on anyone’s head. The crowd gasped, and I took a few more steps back, just in case.

“She’s got a hell of an arm,” I said, half-impressed, half-terrified.

Grayson shook his head. “She’s got a hell of a temper. I need to get up there before she tosses the minibar next.”

Just then, Jake’s beat-up truck pulled up to the curb, and he leaned out the window, grinning. “What’s with the junkyard? You tossin’ out TVs now?”

I pointed at the shattered remains. “Not me. Crazy lady in 403. Nearly took my head off.”

Jake whistled, eyeing the wreckage. “Damn, dude. You always find the drama. Hop in before she starts chucking microwaves.”

I grabbed my bag, still glancing up at the window. Clara was now arguing loudly with someone inside, her voice carrying snatches of “divorce papers” and “you’ll regret this.” As I slid into Jake’s car, sirens wailed in the distance, and I saw Grayson sprinting back into the hotel, probably praying for a miracle.

“Think she’ll be okay?” Jake asked as we pulled away.

“Sounds like she’s got enough fire to burn through this,” I said. “Her ex, though? He’s gonna need a new TV.”

I laughed, the adrenaline finally fading, but I couldn’t shake the image of that TV plummeting toward me—or Clara’s furious silhouette against the sky.

The Arcata Hotel wouldn’t forget this day anytime soon, and neither would I.