I reckon every man has a story that teaches him something about himself—usually at the hands of a woman, a child, or another man.
But mine was a foul-feathered fowl named Clyde. He wasn’t an ordinary barnyard bird. He strutted around the place like he paid the mortgage.
Big old Rhode Island Red with a chest puffed out like a parade marshal and spurs sharp enough to pierce denim. I bought him at the Churchill County fair on a whim—figured he’d add a little frontier spirit to my modest spread out past Dogwood Holler.
Folks say masculinity is about muscle and grit and taking charge, and I won’t argue with that—I’ve hauled hay, fought fires, and once patched up a radiator with duct tape. But Clyde, Lord help me, reminded me that sometimes masculinity is about humility—and getting knocked on your keester by a bird a tenth your size.
The trouble started early. Every morning I’d step out in my boots and flannel with a mug of coffee, trying to start the day like a Marlboro ad.
And every morning, Clyde was waiting. He’d puff up, screech, and come at me like I was wearing a fox costume.
He pecked my shins, clawed my boots, and once—even though I’m loath to admit it—got a hold of my pant leg and wouldn’t let go until I gave a yelp that scared the neighbor cats.
Now, a lesser man might’ve wrung his neck. But I don’t believe in violence unless it’s with good reason, or my chainsaw won’t start.
Instead, I started carrying a broom like a samurai sword, which my neighbor Earl found downright hilarious.
“Big ol’ fella like you,” he said, grinning with his two remaining teeth, “battlin’ poultry aroun’ with household goods. You ever consider just talking to him?”
Earl was a hippie turned goat farmer who smelled like patchouli and Cheetoes, but sometimes he had a point.
So one morning, I sat on an upturned milk crate near the coop, eye-to-eye with Clyde. I sipped my coffee, stared him down, and muttered, “You and me, we got issues.”
He blinked. I blinked. The wind stirred the Aspens. It felt like a Clint Eastwood standoff, minus the harmonica music. Then he turned around, scratched some dirt, and ignored me.
And that’s when it hit me. All that strutting and spurring wasn’t really about me. It was Clyde’s way of protecting, to show he mattered. Same as me, I guess.
That rooster had instincts older than language—probably dating back to when his great-great-grand-chicken dodged velociraptors. I was just the nearest threat to his hens and his pride.
So I let him be and gave him space. I wore shin guards from a catcher’s uniform when I did chores. And over time, we struck a gentleman’s agreement—he ruled the roost, I ruled the tractor.
Some will say a man oughta dominate, be the alpha, and never back down. But I say sometimes, it’s wiser to coexist than conquer. You can be strong without making everything a showdown, especially with things that peck.
Clyde died a few winters back, peaceful-like, in the henhouse. I buried him under an apple tree and poured a touch of whiskey on the soil for old-time sake.
And, ever now and then, when life gets loud–and folks start hollering about what a man ought to be, I think about that rooster and smile. Because the truth is, I’m a man’s man—and I make no apology for it, but that don’t mean I can’t learn from a bird.
