Category: random

  • Naive

    (March 1, 1986)

    Tonight I shaved off my mustache,
    Looking at the same old face (in the mirror;)
    Like seeing the same old spot on the wall,
    Drives you crazy as you keep on staring.

    The days go so fast around me
    And the nights like a dragging anchor.
    My body gets too tired to keep pace
    And my mind races with the thoughts.

    Nothing is sacred with this life.
    People push and shove one another:
    Not always physically but emotionally
    And some one always falls over.

    Years ago I didn’t understand Bruce,
    That’s why I never listened to him,
    Yet this year — I have heard every word
    And knew what he thought — so did I.

    I saw seven explode, falling silent to earth.
    I watched a young man step into space, today.
    I could not help but become them in death,
    Naive and yet…so damned sad.

    Tonight I shaved off my mustache,
    To change the same old face (in the mirror,)
    It is something I can change in this world.
    I am happy jus’ to be alive, after all.

  • The Door

    (August 1977)

    The door knob is dented.
    The door is closed,
    Waiting to be opened.
    It remains darkened
    And musty behind it.

    It is opened.
    Clothes hanging,
    All well used.
    Coats and jackets.
    And books.

    Cramped and dusty;
    An old grads’ gown.
    And more books,
    About years gone-by.
    Moments and memories.

    An American flag;
    Holes and tatters.
    Broken high-heel shoe.
    Stamps from 20 years ago.
    And an old shoe-shine kit.

    Pictures of people not remembered,
    Letters someone had forgotten.
    An moths.
    And old moth balls
    Both powdered away.

    Old loves,
    And future lives.
    Echoing the past,
    Calling the future.
    Living storage.

  • Locked Out

    “Open the door,” Adam yelled, “Before I smash it in!” He stood on the outside of the trailer after I had tricked him into stepping outside to fight.

    Within minutes we heard him get in his car and drive away. By that time though the meal was completely ruined as the dinner table had been turned upside down and nobody felt like eating anyway.

    “Is your knee okay?” Mom asked me. She had noticed that I hobble over to the counter as soon as Adam drove off.

    “Yeah, but he stomped on top of my foot,” I answered.

    I was sitting down on the sofa by then pulling the boot off my right foot. Adam had tried to step on my right knee but I had been just quick enough to dodge the blow yet slow enough to get myself severely stomped on.

    I looked as Mom and Del, asking them, “Are you guys okay?”

    Del replied, “Yup.”

    He had taken the main blow from the table as Adam flipped it over. He managed to jump up and step in front of Mom as the heavy oak top came crashing downward where she had been sitting. It bounced off of his back and onto the ground as Adam and I prepared to duke it out.

    “How about you, Kyle?” Grandma asked as she looked at her grandson.

    He didn’t say anything but rather shook his head that he was okay.

    Then I said, “I’m sorry about all this.”

    “No need to apologize,” replied Del. Then he added, “You were in the right asking him not to use that language.”

    He was talking about the fact that Adam had been using the “F-word” in front of his four year old nephew while at the dinner table.

    I reflected back to a few minutes ago, “Adam, please don’t say that in front of Kyle.”

    He had asked his brother twice before not to say that particular word because he was certain the child would go home and say it in front of his mother.

    On the third request Adam exploded and lifting the table up to get at me. It flipped over nearly injuring Mom.

    He attacked me by trying to break my knee, missing it by a fraction but smashing my foot. He continued to rush after me until I ended up inviting him outside.

    Once Adam stepped outside, I closed the sliding glass door and locked it. It was the only way I could think to get him out of the house without tearing our parent’s home apart.

  • Kayaking the Smith

    (August 1977)

    White water.
    Faster.
    Harder.
    Ice water
    And rocks.

    Riffles,
    Big
    And small,
    Bouncing the little kayak.
    Throwing it about.

    Down,
    Then up again.
    Twisting
    In tormented waters
    And hidden rocks.

    Crashing.
    Dashing in the water.
    Sinking,
    Rolling the raft about.
    Finished.

    It’s done.
    Thank God!
    The kayak is gone,
    Fractured and disappeared.
    But you have survived.

  • Michelle’s Doll

    (July 1977)

    Blond hair;
    Knotted and snarled.
    Blue eyes,
    Only one leg.
    Thirteen years old.

    Her doll;
    Since she was two.
    It’s no good.
    But it’s highly prized.
    Memorable value.

    She says she’ll throw it away,
    But she won’t.
    She can’t.
    It hurts to much.
    Throw out a piece of life?

    Remembering.
    All smiles.
    The feedings,
    Rocking it to sleep.
    Feeling foolish over it.

    Thirteen years old
    And still around.
    A lot of time.
    Yet jus’ a lovable,
    Even with only one leg.

  • Down On the Pier

    (July 1977)

    Past the gate,
    Up the walk way.
    Forward.
    Walking.
    Advancing slowly.

    Her and I.
    Hand in hand.
    Watching the sea,
    As well as each other.
    Quiet.

    Waves,
    Crashing over the wall.
    Spraying us.
    Wet,
    But we don’t care.

    Onward,
    In the distance,
    begging gulls.
    Crying,
    As they take flight.

    The end-most of the pier.
    We sit on the edge.
    Watching a busy world.
    It passes
    And we don’t care.

  • The Dissidents

    (May 1977)

    Dissidents.
    Soviets’
    As well as Jewish.
    International pawns.
    Pawns in a game.

    Olympians they are not.
    Spies.
    Espionage.
    A deadly game;
    Not a sport.

    Convicted,
    Against their nation.
    Eight hard years
    And more.
    Trapped.

    The world is shocked.
    Appalling;
    Human rights rejected.
    People will rally;
    Praying for freedom.

    Freedom fighters?
    Revolutionists?
    Without weapons,
    Yet dying
    An uncertain death.

  • The Pahranagat Lights

    Heading south on U.S. 375 past Rachel at around 70 miles an hour and in between Bald Mountain on my right and Mt. Irish to my left, I noted a set of brighter-than-normal headlights quickly coming up from behind. They had to be moving closer to 100 miles per hour as they quickly drew up on the back bumper of my truck.

    After nearly three miles of the vehicle’s tailgating, I slowed and pulled to the right, off the road, into what I perceived as a turnout. I wanted the S.O.B. off my butt, so I could get back to enjoying my darktime drive.

    But as I slowed and pulled from the road, the vehicle also slowed and then stopped as I had. That’s never a good sign out in the middle of nowhere, so I took my pistol from the center console and waited.

    A couple of minutes later, I slowly rolled back onto the blacktop and steadily built up my speed to the posted limit of 65. The vehicle had not followed me directly but quickly caught up as I pushed my truck to near 90.

    Instead of pulling over again, I slowed to nearly 40 miles an hour. Another few miles and the vehicle stopped before proceeding to back up at a high rate of speed.

    Eventually, the headlights became the size of pinheads before blinking out. Still on edge, I kept my firearm tucked between myself and the edge of my seat.

    I enjoyed the remainder of my drive to Crystal Springs as the sun began to show itself, where I fueled up my truck and bought a cup of coffee.

    “Yeah, been some weird lights out there this morning,” the woman behind the counter said. “Had three people in here telling me about them.”

    “Does that happen often?” I asked.

    “I think so,” she said, “But then it’s my first to be told directly. I always heard this stuff from others but never had anyone say anything to me till tonight.”

    “Did you see them?” I asked.

    “Naw,” she answered. “I wouldn’t know what to do if I did anyway.”

    I said nothing about what I had experienced, knowing I didn’t want to engage in any more conversation than necessary since going to Pahranagat was my idea of escaping having to interact with people. Half an hour later, I pulled into the park.

    Throughout the day, I explored the refuge and played tourist. That evening, I cooked myself a small meal and ate before prepping the bed of my truck with a couple of sleeping pads and my sleeping bag.

    The sky was dark, and I studied the stars as I fell asleep. My night was peaceful until about 3 a.m. when I awoke for no reason that I could understand at first.

    As I lay there, having rolled onto my back, I noted how the stars seemed to have vanished. I studied the sky, looking for clouds or anything that could be causing them to disappear like they were doing.

    Suddenly, I jumped with a start. I was lying beneath a large floating object. It was larger than at least three or four football fields.

    Immediately, I thought about my pistol tucked beneath my pillow at my head. Then it dawned on me that it would do little to reach for it because I sensed I was under observation, and anything I did would draw attention.

    After 15 or 20 minutes, I watched as the thing above me gradually moved eastward, raising quietly upward, before speeding away so fast that I did perceive its departure. There was no more sleep that morning.

    Once the sun was up and as I was making coffee, I heard other campers, adults and children, talking about the late night, early morning visitor. That is how I learned of the time in which this happened.

    At about 8 a.m., I packed up my meager camp and returned to the road, heading north towards Reno and home. I could avoid people or whatever the hell was out there, as well as any other place.

  • The Cracked Windshield

    It happened somewhere around Santee, California. I am not certain, because I was actually lost.

    It had been a number of years since I had driven those freeways in southern California and I missed an exit and long before I knew it I was miles off course. I ended up with a large crack in my windshield.

    I had to live with that crack for a month before my insurance could take care of it.

    For a month! It started to wear on me.

    Everyday I went out to my truck to go to work and there it would be. However, it also caused me to think.

    It made me realize was living a life of routine. I had gotten lost on the highway, taken the wrong turn so to speak and ended up with damage to my truck.

    This took me out of my comfort zone. If I apply that to my life it would be the same and it made me uncomfortable and I did not like it.

    That is what was really bothering me about the crack. Many times in my life I have ventured down life’s highway, gotten lost and found myself in a position of physical, emotional or spiritual damage.

    It was time for me to learn from that cracked windshield.

    There was simple beauty to be had in it if I just opened my heart up to it. Then it occurred to me that during his short three and a half year ministry Jesus Christ spent much of his time devoted to the healing of the sick and the lame.

    In fact in Matthew 9:11-12, “…Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and ‘sinners’?” On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.”

    We are all sick, because we are all sinners. There is only one who has ever been perfect and he died so that cracked windshields like you and me could find salvation not our comfort zones.

  • The So-called Seperation

    For years we have heard how the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution separates church and state. This is not true.

    The First Amendment reads in part: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof…” It is interesting to note that the sentence is constructed in very specific language aimed directly at Congress and not the .states or the judiciary.

    However, today it appears more and more that the First Amendment is being tested in the courts system at the state level.

    Historically, this amendment was written to prevent a creation of a national church run by the government like the types that exist today countries such as England. There the parliament approves the bishops and other clergy members as designated by her royal majesty Queen Elizabeth II.

    Even their Book of Common Prayer cannot be changed without the approval of parliament.

    France removed nationalized religion during the French Revolution, by severing ties with the Roman Catholic Church . Many heads were severed during this time period as well in the name of religious purging.

    Prior to 1790, it was viewed ‘that the Congregational Church was the ‘official ‘ church of the Thirteen Colonies; however this came to an end with the ratification of the First Amendment. And it remained that way until after World War II, when a constitutional battle arose over the use of public funds for transporting children to and from parochial school.

    Then in 1963, the U.S. Supreme Court upheld that bible reading and classroom prayer violated the First Amendment and had to be stopped. At the time reading from the bible and classroom prayer were considered commonplace throughout the United States and had been upheld by the lower courts of a majority of states where it had been first challenged.

    Today, the battle not only includes prayer in our schools, but there is a challenge before the courts to remove our national motto, ‘In God We Trust,’ from our currency, to remove ‘Under God’ from our Pledge of Allegiance and just recently the Ten Commandments on a monument in a state building was ordered removed by a Federal Judge .

    According to James 1:26, “If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.”

    Jus’ for perspective, these cases are being decided by the courts and are in no way being infringed upon by Congress.