Category: random

  • Frisbee Alone

    Across from our home was a large open field. It was the perfect place to toss a Frisbee back and forth.

    But no one wanted to play, so I had to toss it and chase it down by myself. Eventually I realized I could throw the plastic disc and by running as fast as possible, I could catch it before it hit the ground.

    It didn’t occur to me until years later that there was a reason no one wanted to play. I had caused so much trouble, area kids did their best to avoid me.

    Somewhere in my mind I can hear my Grandma Lola’s voice: Too late we get too smart. As a kid I didn’t understand what she meant by this folksy comment.

    But I get it now.

  • Fourth Casualty

    The C-130 was our ride out of the jungle after eight days of harassing drug traffickers. It sat with its tail-gate down and both port-side hatches open and steps extended, when it started taking small arms fire.

    It suddenly became a “load and go” situation and the two Marines squads would have to evacuate the landing zone while defending each other. Within minutes we were aboard and the craft was taxiing. 

    Leaned out of the craft, trying to get the forward hatch secured, I saw a rocket-propelled grenade race by the plane. The rocket came so close, its smoky-trail was cut by the C-130’s rudder. 

    A second RPG, screamed out of the jungle and slammed into the aircraft. It blew me out the door and landed on my back.

    The bad guys immediately started shooting at me. So I took off running after the C-130.

    On fire, the plane turned and dropped into a ditch that paralleled the dirt airstrip. Marines poured out of every exit and we eventually rallied in the jungle.

    Our ride ended up burning to the ground. And we’d have to wait for another lift out of the jungle.

    We had three minor injuries, but no deaths from the attack. However, years later I realized I was a casualty of the attack too.

    I had fractured two vertebra, falling out of the plane.

  • Drawing Conclusions

    As I prepared to switch off the television for the night, I decided to flip through the channels one more time. I paused on The Weather Channel because there was something familiar about the woman wearing the U.S. Coast Guard Lt. Commanders’ uniform.

    It took me a couple of minutes of watching to recognize and old classmate from both Margaret Keating School and Del Norte High. My mind jumped back nearly 25 years and to the last time I had seen her.

    We were walking towards each other on a side street in Eureka. I knew her in an instant as we had also taught summer school together at Margaret Keating in the year 1977.

    I even have a beautiful ink drawing she rendered for me from back then.

    She said to me, “My Tom, you’ve gained weight!”

    It was her way of telling me I was no longer the stick figure she knew. I agreed with her as we stopped to chat.

    Then in a close up, everything was confirmed by the name tag over her right breast pocket: Ben-Iesau. It was Cheri Ben-Iesau!

    I got so excited that I woke the entire household up.

    The Weather Channel show was “Storm Stories.” Cheri and a Captain with the New Orleans Police Department teamed up in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina to rescue an elderly dog and later found it a good home.

    Three things about all this: I never thought of Cheri as being military material, so shame on me for making such a brutal judgment about her, and secondly; it is a small world after all. Finally, I am so damned proud of Cheri that I fear my heart might burst with pride.

  • Sandy Canyon Terror

    He was in his early teens when he first came west from St. Joe, Missouri. Frank Mueller didn’t intend on striking it rich but that’s what had happened.Frank started like any miner, with nothing more than a pick, shovel and a pie tin. He bought a length of land along the Russian River and set about to find gold.

    Much to the surprise of those around him, he located a vain and chiseled out ounce after ounce of the precious ore. Within a month Frank was nearly as rich as any silver baron on the Comstock.

    Suddenly, Frank found he could afford to pay others to do the work for him. He left the claim and moved to where he felt real adventure could be found; the city.

    He had come a long way from his youth, filled with poverty, selling apples to help his widowed mother. When she died he saw no reason to stick around. Now as he grew older he reflected back and longed to see and do some of the things he had only dreamed about for so long.

    Because of his wealth, Frank lived in luxury along the piers of the once infamous Barbary Coast. But even that wildness had long since been tamed by the civilized who roamed San Francisco.

    He was amazed at how quickly the city had filled up with people. After years of easy living, Frank decided it was time to move on; to find some place less crowded.

    As a young man he had always wanted to explore the high desert of Nevada. Frank heard there was a possibility of gold just a little north of Reno.

    He wanted to find out.

    It took only a day of travel for Frank to cross the Sierra Nevada Mountains. He was surprised to find the small settlement established in his youth had grown so much.

    When he was younger, Reno, along the Truckee River, was nothing more than a few buildings that served as a stop for the weary traveler heading elsewhere. Now Reno was a bustling metropolis, filled with saloons, hotels, businesses and city folk.

    Frank found the atmosphere confining. He quickly found himself looking off into the horizon, searching for a place less inhabited.

    Wanderlust led Frank to exploring the lands above the mine town of Wedekind City. There he found a small box canyon and several draws holding small shelves of what he believed to be silver ore.

    Sandy Canyon, as Frank named it, was where he decided to set up a claim. For weeks he had poked around and through the rocks, searching for mineral deposits until he found what he knew to be color.

    He had a small camp set up near the longest draw of the side of Sandy Canyon. Frank was comfortable with the small wooden shack he had erected to shelter himself against the elements of wind, blowing sand and the cold nights.

    It was one evening, as the sun settled in the west; Frank discovered a length of outcropping that looked promising. The vein turned into the hill as he continued to follow the nearly invisible lines of the deposit.

    The small thread of mineral slipped under a rock ledge. Frank crawled beneath the cleft to see how far it continued.

    That’s when he heard it.

    It was a sound unlike anything he had ever heard before. Frank lay quietly listening, trying to decide if he should he concerned.

    It echoed through Sandy Canyon again. This time Frank froze in place as feeling of dread covered his being.

    He asked himself, “Was that a man or a dog?”

    Frank couldn’t tell.

    As quickly as he could, he scrambled from between the rocky shelves. Frank wasn’t fully to his feet when something struck him from behind, knocking him hard to the ground.

    Frank crawled to his knees and looked around for what had attacked him. He saw nothing as he made it to his feet.

    However he heard the low, vicious growl of what he believed to be a dog from somewhere in front of him. Frank backed up and into the shallow draw behind him, placing his shoulders against the face of a short overhang.

    Still couldn’t see what was making the malevolent sound, he could only hear what he thought might be a large, wild dog. Frank decided he’d climb onto the overhang to create a greater distance between himself and whatever remained hidden in the darkness.

    On top of the overhang and about ten feet from the desert floor, Frank heard the beast moving from one side of the draw to the other. Frank continued to move higher onto the draw, until he could climb no further.

    It was nothing more than a small ledge, some thirty feet high. There he found a few loose, dried sage brushes and a couple of rocks. Frank was trapped and he would have to wait out the night or until he felt certain the beast had gone away.

    Darkness had long settled in on the desert as Frank huddled against the rock looking down the draw. Every once in a while he believed he saw a shadow from in front or heard a noise from above.

    And twice he dosed as he sat silently. But the rest was short-lived as he heard the low growl emanating from the blackness of the lonely night.

    The beast had moved closer to Frank’s perch amid the rocky crags. He wondered, “Is it my imagination or is it growing bolder?”

    To find out, Frank struck a match and held it to a dried ball of sage brush and tossed it down the draw. What the flame uncovered terrified him.

    What he thought was a large and wild dog was instead standing upright on two legs, looking menacingly at him. He felt his blood run cold and a chill race over his body as the sage burned out.

    Frank remained tucked as tightly against the wall of Sandy Canyon as possible, until the sun had long risen over the Pah-Rah Range. He waited to make certain the thing he had seen, whatever it was, was no longer stalking him.

    Only then did Frank move from his place of safety and climb to the ground below. He wasted no time in heading for Wedekind City as he craved the safety of civilization for the first time in a long while.

    Frank went directly to a saloon and ordered a shot of whiskey to settle his nerves. The old-timers had seen him rushing along the narrow, dust-covered path that served as a road and could sense something was wrong.

    At first Frank refused to speak of it, but slowly shot after shot of whiskey loosened his tongue. His tale was incredible and few believed what he had to say.

    It would be several days before Frank would have the gumption to lead a small party back to his encampment. Once there, the group found little or no trace of what he had claimed to have seen.

    Folks from all around came to consider Frank just another colorful character, a poor soul who lost his mind after too much time alone in the big emptiness of the high Nevada desert. He would spend much of the rest of his life in a drunken stupor and eventually would find himself committed to the Nevada Mental Asylum.

    Eighty-three years later, Alycn Wold, searching through an old crate, found a yellowing and faded newspaper clipping. It told the tale of Frank Mueller and the Sandy Canyon Terror.

    Alycn’s curiosity was piqued, because she knew.

  • Gallows Humor

    The day after Dad passed away, his wife Jere’, and I had an appointment with the folks at Foster-Peterings. We were  going there to purchase a casket to bury the old man in.

    My stomach was in knots as we pulled in the driveway and walked into the funeral parlor. That feeling soon melted away as we sat down and talked to the young representative about our needs.

    He was professional as he walked through the displays of caskets for sale. Unfortunately Jere’ and I were dealing with our grief like most medical personnel—with gallows-humor.

    He must have thought he was dealing with two people off their nut. However he would soon know we were nuts.

    At one point the representative pointed out a very pricey casket, saying, “This is the Rolls-Royce of caskets.”

    With a completely straight face I replied to his description with, “So where’s the Yugo of caskets?”

    While Jere’ and I busted up with laughter, the representative stayed true to his training: He never even batted an eye.

  • Twenty-Days Lost

    It seemed like every cop in the world rushed me as I opened our apartment door. I soon found myself cuffed and loaded in the back of a cruiser and enroute to the Washoe County Jail.

    My youngest sister Marcy told the Humboldt County California Sheriffs Department that I was the Tom Darby they were looking for in relation to a pedophile case they were investigating. Unfortunately for them, they didn’t know I was the wrong Tom Darby.

    The one they were looking for had been a bus drive in Eureka at one time. But he had moved to Nevada and found work at the Nugget driving a shuttle bus at the same time as I wrote Keno tickets for the same casino.

    It took 20 days for law enforcement officials and Washoe County District Court Judge Mills Lane to get the mess straightened out. By that time, authorities in Humboldt County had the right Tom Darby in custody.

    Judge Lane signed my paperwork, expunging my record. He also suggested I “stay away from that sister of yours as she’s plain trouble for you, son”

    I can still hear his no-nonsense, gravelly voice as he barked out that advice.

  • Drano Pain-o

    The bathroom toilet had become clogged up and my parents decided to take care of the problem themselves. I remember going to the base exchange with Dad and picking up a metal can of what he called “Drano.”

    Once we’re back home I was excited to see how the stuff in the can would be used or how it would work. I was standing next to the toilet looking into the water as Dad poured the crystal like material into the bowl.

    As the stuff hit the toilet water, it turned into a vapor, which filled my eyes, nose and mouth. I screamed my little head off and ran from the bathroom.

    Both Mom and Dad told me years later they had a hard time corralling me as I ran through the house wailing about the pain. Once they had me in hand, they jumped in the car and raced over to the base hospital, where I would spend the next few hours having my eyes flushed out and lungs checked.

    From then on, anytime I saw a Drano commercial on TV, I add my own words, “Drano causes pain-o.”

  • Hot August Nights, How I Hate You

    Let me count the ways.

    Since this years’ event started, I have been stuck behing old clunker vehicles that have needed to be pushed out of the way. I’ve also dealt with finding streets unexpectedly closed to accomodate visitors, while making it more than difficult for locals simply trying to get to work.

    Each year, I have to put up with people who think that because they have been invited to Reno-Sparks, they can disregard safety. I have lost count of the blown stop signs and traffic lights and near-collisions in the last quarter-century because of visitors, both out-of-town and local.

    There’s also the noise, which can be pretty exciting, but not after 10 at night. That’s when I wish I could find the culprit and stuff a potato up their vehicle’s exhaust pipe.

    Finally, when all is said and done—not one penny has been added to my pocket because of Hot August Nights. Oh, sure, the casinos, the hotels, the motels, the Reno-Sparks Convention and Vistors Authority and HAN organizers are making money, but they have yet to drive business to my bride’s two sandwich shops.

    I count six

  • Sick Dog

    Spent my night and much of the early morning nursing our pit bull, Roxy. She had a severe stomach problem that caused her to get sick several times.

    The bride noticed the dog wasn’t acting right. It wouldn’t settle down and continued to pace up and down the hallway even after all the lights were turned off.

    Generally, Roxy is asleep long before anyone or anything in the house. But not this time.

    We did get lucky as she was on the bed seconds before she lost some of her dinner. However, she jumped off and left a smelly, gross mess on our bedroom carpet instead.

    The second time, she tossed her cookies under our bed. That was the hardest one to clean up as the bed is fairly heavy.

    I took her to the front room and stayed with her until she calmed down around four in the morning.

    By that time she had been sick so many times I lost count. When I finally awoke around 2 p.m., she was chipper and ready to play.

    Dang dog.

  • Picture Perfect Offense

    While out taking pictures in downtown Reno, I had no problems. However, when I took a photo of the Thompson Federal Building, I found myself being scrutinized by the U.S. Marshal’s Service.

    An agent came out and asked why I was taking pictures of the building, saying it looked like I was casing the joint. I apologized and offered to erase the pictures.

    He told that wouldn’t be necessary. Then he thanked me and went back into the building.

    The encounter left me feeling a little creeped-out. I decided it was time to pack it in and go home.