Category: random

  • Las Vegas Shooting: Derek Cecil

    From my notes:  “FBI stats show that only three crimes using an automatic weapon have been committed since 1934.”

    A retired Reno police officer is one of the many off-duty and former first responders who immediately sprang into action to help save strangers in Las Vegas Sunday night. The Army National Guard flight medic and longtime Reno police officer Derek Cecil explains what happened when the gunfire began and after he escorted [his friend’s] to a safe location.

    “‘You guys go to safety in the aid station, I’m going back in. Do not come back with me.’ And that’s all I said. I turned around and I went back in.

    “We were getting splash of glass and metal flakes from the bullets hitting and ricocheting off the trailer, hitting us in the face, hitting us in the arms. There were people on the ground screaming for help and bleeding. There were people on the ground not moving at all.

    When the shooting finally stopped, Cecil thought he’d avoided the bullets, until he pulled out his phone. Two bullet fragments had shattered the glass on his cellphone.

    “One of them…could’ve possibly penetrated into my lower abdomen on the left side had the phone not stopped it from going through.

    “Other people come before me and I’ll do anything I can to help someone in need. Whatever that may be.”

    He suffered only minor injuries in his right arm from bullet fragments. Cecil survived a crash in June 1991, that left him in coma for nearly a week, after he struck a vehicle during a motocycle pursuit.

  • Whiskey, Coffee, Life

    Too much whiskey last night
    Much too much black coffee tonight
    I need to get myself a life

  • Las Vegas Shooting: Renee Cesario and Brendan Kelly

    From my notes:  “ISIS is claiming responsibilty for the Las Vegas mass shooting.”

    Twenty-three year old Renee Cesario describes how 21-year-old U.S. Marine Brendan Kelly saved her life in the opening moments of gunfire in Las Vegas, on Sunday night.

    “Brendan and I met only 2 hours before the Jason Aldean show. I left my friends so we could go up super close to the front for the end of the night.

    We were just dancing and having fun and then all of the sudden there were loud noises that sounded like fireworks, but no lights were going off. It stopped, and Jason Aldean kept playing but then the shots fired again and he ran off the stage.

    Before I knew what was going on, Brendan tackled me down to the ground and covered me from the fire. It stopped again and he looked around to see what was happening and then it just kept going.

    He looked at me and said ‘We have to get out of here. We can’t stay here. It’s not safe.’ Then he pulled my arm up to get me out of the piles of people. We had no idea who was dead or who was alive. We just started to run.

    He kept telling me it was going to be okay and to keep running until we were safe. He even let me use his phone to stay in touch with my sister. The whole night he didn’t leave my side.”

  • Sharks

    There are sharks in this damn water
    But I’m the striped tiger, beyond king.
    Fuck with me and I’ll drown you
    And your progeny’s coming progeny.

    Perhaps I’m nothing more than drunk,
    Ten feet tall, bullet proof, pissed off
    Don’t know exactly why, but then — hey
    I don’t think I need a reason, do I now.

    Maybe it’s a lack of family, friends,
    A lack of social grace or company.
    Perhaps I need to get laid real hard,
    But what can’t get up, can’t get out.

    The usual suspects are all lined up,
    Ready to have the shit-crap slapped
    From their stupid-assed mug-faces,
    But my mug – it stands alone — empty.

    So swim at me sharks, come for a bite
    But be warned I bite the fuck back, so
    Give me another two-fingers of whiskey
    Let me wash it down with blood n’ beer.

  • Las Vegas Shooting: Taylor Benge

    From my notes:  “I think the reason Obama’s keeping his mouth shut is because of the ‘Bump Stock,’ police found in the shooters room, a piece of shooting equiptment he approved as president.” 

    When Taylor Benge went to the Route 91 Festival in Las Vegas on Sunday, an agnostic. He left a Believer:

    “I was agnostic going into that concert and I’m a firm believer in God now. Because there’s no way that all of that happened and that I made it and I was blessed enough to still be here alive talking to you today.

    My sister and I, we started running to the left and every time they shot, we took cover. My sister, being as noble as she, she actually threw herself on top of me and was saying, ‘I love you Taylor, I love you.’

    And I’ll never forget that.

    [I] didn’t know we were safe until we were sitting in McCarran [airport,] one of their hangars almost — a car almost ran through the gate to get on the runway just to get away from that location. I saw a bunch of people trying to help.

    Unfortunately, I also saw a lot of loved ones with their significant others holding them as they passed.”

    His sister survived.

  • Las Vegas Shooting: Heather Gooze

    From my notes: “All but three of the 59 people killed in the mass shooting in the Las Vegas have been identified.”

    Survivor Heather Gooze was working as bartender when the shooting started, but she risked her life to stay at the side of the dying Jordan McIldoon. She describes the situation:

    “You could hear everyone shouting, ‘Shooter, shooter,’ This was legitimate terror. There was a moment where you’re like, ‘I don’t know what to do.’

    And then you’re like, ‘All right, go.’ I put my hand on the arm of the guy that was laying there. We brought him over to the sidewalk and we lay him down.”

    [His] fingers kind of squeezed then just stopped. Like you don’t have to be a doctor to know. I promised his girlfriend that I would not leave him. That I would make sure that she knew where he was going to be going to. What was going to happen. That they knew who he was.

    “She said, ‘Is he hurt?’ And I said, ‘Yes.’ She said, ‘Be honest with me, tell me, is he OK?’ And I said, ‘No.’ I said, ‘He’s passed away; he’s dead.’

    I kept thinking about, ‘If this was me would people stay with me? Would they make sure I was OK? Would they contact my family?’

    I couldn’t go.”

  • Las Vegas Shooting: Big & Rich’s John Rich

    From my notes: “No, the Vegas muderers’ real name isn’t in my lexicon and I refuse to ever mention it again.” 

    Country music star John Rich, one half of the duo Big & Rich, was at a bar in Las Vegas when a gunman began murdering people at the country music festival. He reveals:

    “I had an off-duty police officer, it was a Minneapolis police officer, off-duty, was in my bar hanging out. He came up to me and showed me his badge, and he says… ‘I’m [a police] officer and I’m not armed for the first time ever. I can’t believe it. Are you armed?’

    I said yes I am armed. I [have] my concealed carry.

    He asked, ‘can I have your firearm so I can hold point on this door?’

    So I handed over my firearm to him, everybody got behind him and for two hours he held point on that door without flinching.”

  • The Naked Truth

    Based on a tale I heard as a child from my grandmother…

    Truth and Lie meet at the local swimming hole, where Lie says, “It’s a great day.”

    Suspicious, Truth looks at the sky before agreeing.

    Lie says, “The water’s nice, let’s go for a swim”

    Still suspicious, Truth checks the water before agreeing. They get undressed and start swimming.

    Then without a word, Lie gets out of the water, puts on Truth’s clothes and runs away. With no other alternative, Truth chases after Lie to get her clothes back.

    Since then, Lie, dressed as Truth, has been traveling the World spreading falsehoods because people don’t want to see the naked Truth.

  • Jelly and Crumbs

    There’s no way to hate
    Without getting jelly and crumbs
    On your hangman’s noose.

  • Art History, Reimagined

    How Vince really lost his left ear — and damned near his life.