Category: random

  • Clutter

    “The backyard feels so cluttered,” she said, staring out the back window.

    “It’s a simple procedure and I’ll be right there, holding you hand, while you’re having it done,” he said.

    “Clean up is a breeze, you said?”

    “Your avoiding the subject.”

    “Not really. I’m talking about clutter – so are you — aren’t you?”

    “If you don’t wanna go through with it, that’s fine by me.”

    “Really? You could live with the ‘mess?’” she air-quoted.

    “Perhaps.”

    “Well, that’s a non-committal answer if I ever heard one.”

    “Sorry,” he said.

    “Actually, I can live forever with our clutter, even if you can’t.”

  • Portal Amid the Pine Nuts

    She was not dressed as a traditional Paiute or Shoshone woman; she was dressed plainer. More leather, no beads, no shells, no fringe, no make-up.

    Her demeanor was friendly, though we never spoke, she did smile, so did I. I sat on the rock, watching as she trouped quickly, quietly and deftly by and up the hillside to  a nearby grove of Pine nut trees.

    She stopped and looked back at me, still smiling before disappearing into the grove. I could still see her feet, beneath the boughs of a tree she stepped behind, before they dematerialized into nothingness.

    Thinking it was a trick of the eye, I raced up the hill, but could not finder her. After searching for about fifteen minutes, I returned to the rock on which I sat when she first passed and have not seen her since.

    How can I expect you to believe this when I can hardly believe it myself — then missing Kenny Veach enters my confused mind?

  • The Unrationing

    “So, do you think you can live with driving only 55 miles an hour from now on?” Dad asked.

    “I guess so,” I answered, “Why?”

    “Soon it’s gonna be the new law of the land.”

    “You mean no more going 60 or 65?”

    “Nope.”

    “Don’t get it. Why?”

    “It’ll save gas and we won’t have anymore more of those gas lines.”

    “Driving five-miles slower saves gas?”

    “That’s what they say and Tricky Dick’s gonna sign it into law next week, I expect.”

    “Really? Is that the president’s job – I mean to make everyone save gas? And your okay with this?”

    “Well, it is a matter of National Security,” Dad said, his face deathly serious.

    My mind fell back to that rainy day, four-and-a-half years before, as dad helped me deliver newspapers in our newly purchased gold-colored German engineered Opel Cadet. I smiled at having not once read the paper I was launching at neighbor’s porches daily and how I vowed to know every story printed in it before loading my paper bag.

    Then I chucked about how neither the president’s signature nor national security had managed to stop me from driving 70-miles-per-hour where ever I could, but that should my folk’s find out…

  • Conversion

    “You don’t look too good, kiddo.”

    “I’ll be okay.”

    “Lemme feel your forehead. Exactly what I thought – you have a fever. Get undressed and climb back in bed. I’m gonna get the thermometer.”

    “Not the butt one!”

    “No, — not the butt one — the one you put under your tongue.”

    “Mom still uses the…”

    “I’m not your mom,” I interrupted.

    “Good.”

    Three minutes later, “A temp of 101.”

    “That’s dangerously high. Maybe you should take me to the doctor.”

    “What? Why?”

    “My teacher says that a temperature of 41-degrees can kill a person.”

    “What kind of non-sense is that? A temp of 105 or higher will kill you – cooking your brain inside that hard-head of yours.”

    He had showed the wrinkle of confusion between his brows as he listened.

    “At 41 degrees your body is practically freezing and you have a fever of 101, so you ain’t freezing, kiddo. And 98-point-six is normal and you’re only slightly higher than that.”

    “Then I don’t understand – if 98-point-six is normal, what’s 37-degree?”

    “Ah-ha! You’re talking Celsius verses Fahrenheit. They’re two different systems of measurement, son.”

    “Oh, good – so I’m not going to die.”

    “No, you’re not gonna die.”

    “I feel better already, Dad.”

    “Good. Now, lay back and get some rest while I go make us some homemade chicken noodle soup.”

    “You have a fever, too?”

    “No, I don’t,” I said with a smile, “But I’m not gonna let you have all of the soup to yourself, kiddo.”

    As I shuffled into the kitchen, I made a mental note to talk to the academy about the new science teacher from British Columbia.

  • “So, if you’re made in the image of God,” the Sunday-school teacher asked, “And God is a thousand points of light, what are you?”

    The lengthy silence was broken when a little girl in the back of the class shouted, “A lighthouse!”

  • For days now, I have had a cold.
    Still and without complaint, I get up and do what needs done.
    Today, it was mowing the back yard.
    I say WAS, because I practically choked-to-death on the cough drop I’d taken to prevent me from hacking till I could not breathe.
    God is laughing at me, isn’t he?
    Tell me the truth!
    I can take it.

  • Heat-scape

    Passing shower, lightening, thunder,
    Drench far-off balded nobs of granite,
    Followed by unforgiving slanting sun,
    Setting hills on fire with shining gloss.

    In short-order, those same bare nobs,
    Where rain evaporates before it puddles
    Those lifted hills will forget halos glow
    Burning a deep gray, brown and yellow.

    Dry wind and dust, oppressive land,
    Littered with fragments of dark rock,
    Tossed like so much refuse, dropped
    Following the creation of this world.

    Glowing orb whitening an opened sky,
    Glaring harsh across the Nevada desert
    In search of remaining life, in struggle
    For existence under its burning course.

    Even for the little Red Tailed hawk,
    The rattlesnake and the playa fool,
    The Black Rock Desert by mid-July
    Becomes a heat-scape best avoided.

  • The paramedic instructor asked, “What is the difference between the male and the female reproductive organs?”  The only one to raise a hand, she called on me and I answered, “It’s a vas deferens.”

    She didn’t get it — forcing me to explain the joke to her snickering class.

  • The person who refuses to get up extra-early to lay around all day — is simply too lazy to enjoy it.

  • One Man’s Junk

    Eighty-eight had been a hard year for the family; their patriarch had died working in the junkyard he’d inherited from his father earlier in the century. And as the will was read, the younger of his two son’s announced he wanted nothing to do with the ‘family business,’ preferring to be bought out so he could used the cash to follow his dream.

    “The junk business has never been for me,” he said.

    Everyone knew Ryan’s dream to be living in New York and Greenwich Village where he could nurture his talent as a writer. On the other hand, and as the eldest brother, Emmrick put his plans to go to college on hold to help with the day-to-day operations of the failing junk business.

    After finding the money to buy out Ryan’s share and seeing his more-talented brother off to the Big Apple, Emmrick set about making changes to his father’s business plan, incorporating a redesign of the yards layout and restructuring the cash-flow for greater profits.

    In Greenwich, Ryan set about writing. He found immediate success with a small book of short stories and followed this up with two more, this time, filled with poetry.

    Each time he published a new piece of work, Ryan mailed a copy home to his brother. With the book came a note that eventually came down to asking for a few extra dollars to help him make ends meet, ‘as New York is an expensive place to live.’

    It was nearly five years before the pair would see one another again. It happened when Emmrick had the sad duty of telling his younger brother that their mother had passed away.

    Ryan came back to town on the day of the funeral, but did not stay, saying he had left some important work undone and under deadline and had to get it finished or loose the commission. As he left, he took Emmrick aside and asked for the loan of 50-bucks so he could pay for gas to get home.

    “Here’s a hundred dollars, you’ll need to get a meal or two along the way,” Emmrick said.

    Soon another small package arrived containing a booklet written by Ryan. This was neither a book of stories, poems and not even a novel – but a small tome praising Socialism.

    Emmrick read through it before placing it on shelf. Meanwhile, the old junkyard began turning a profit and soon a new hardware section was added to bring more ‘do-it-yourself’ types to the family business.

    The family business continued to grow with more and more hardware and tools taking the place of junk. Eventually, the family business converted to a full service hardware store that included a lumberyard.

    Life for Ryan continued to be a book a year, a myriad of pamphlets and booklets, all espousing the need for reformation to the values of Socialism and the like. Between, chain smoking and booze-filled nights, Ryan continued to send his older brother all the work he generated, along with the periodical request for ‘a touch of cash,’ till the next commission.

    Emmrick silently chuckled at these little asides and after filing the note in a box he had labeled ‘Ryan,’ sent him a couple of hundred dollars to help tide his brother over. Emmrick had come to understand that the life of a writer was hard and that his brother often survived on whatever word-work he could find.

    Unfortunately, Ryan had missed all of the family reunions, his elder bother’s wedding, their only child’s birth, the graduations of his only nephew from both high school and college, the wedding of that same child-turned-adult and the birth of Emmrick’s first and second grandchild. Emmrick forgave him in his heart, knowing that his younger brother struggled everyday to make a living.

    “My life is based on one deadline after another,” Ryan claimed.

    One day while Emmrick took a rare day off and was down by the creek fishing with his grandchildren, he suffered a massive heart attack. Emmrick’s wife called Ryan and left a message for him, telling him he needed to get there before it was too late.

    He never came and then, it was too late. Ryan did return for the funeral and stayed long enough for the reading of the will.

    Emmrick left the family business, estimated to be worth nearly a million bucks, to his wife and son, “and to Ryan, I bequeath my prize-possession, my entire book collection and a sum of one-hundred-thousand dollars.” Ryan left, angry at the ‘paltry sum,’ his bother had left him, but on the upside, the collection, filled with rare and valuable books obviously pick from the junk yard business must be worth a great deal more than what was left him.

    “He promised to take always take care of me,” Ryan complained.

    Under a blue-haze of roll-your-own cigarette smoke, sipping cheap red wine from a bottle, and dreaming of the fortune he’d soon find on his flat’s steps any day, a pounding came to his door. Slowly he rolled from his position and answered the heavy knocking.

    “Yeah,” he barked, “Whadda ya want? Can’t ya see I’m busy?”

    “Delivery down stairs for you.”

    Ryan quickly threw on some pants, pulled an old shirt over his head and raced outside. There he found a delivery truck double parked, unloading five very large boxes.

    “Up here, boys!” he demanded.

    Ten minutes later, with all the boxes filling his small, stuffy apartment, he opened them, finding inside everything he’d ever written and sent to his late brother.