My Cousin Elmo says, “My wife says I can be a jerk sometimes. I thanked her for giving me permission.”

My Cousin Elmo says, “I got the COVID vaccine but I noticed a weird side effect. Every time I sneeze I hear the Microsoft error sound.”

Perhaps it was Buddy-dog moving, or maybe it was not knowing the sound as I slept. Either way, I woke up ever so slightly to listen. Ah, the wind and the sound of bits of rock showering the side of the house, that’s all. I slipped back into sleep. How much time passed, I have…

“And some days it don’t come easy And some days it don’t come hard Some days it don’t come at all And these are the days that never end…” — I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That), Meatloaf It is an accurate statement when I can’t seem to get a good lead…

The Lord knows that I hate myself for behaving so violently. Allow me to set up the situation so that you may better understand the previous statement. After having finished mowing our front yard, I was sweeping up some random clippings. Buddy, our dog, was lying in the shade, on the freshly cut grass. From…

Dearest Sweetheart, Sorry that it has taken me so long to write, new promotion, new duties. Got the chocolate chip cooks you sent. Delicious. We got our 25th kill a couple of days ago. Command says that we’ve almost got it whipped. The Delta Variant Zed is getting bigger. Larger than that Woolly Mammoth we…

Between shows of the Virginia City Camel Races, I found myself sitting in the shade, people-watching, done laissez-faire, without word or action. I was enjoying the warm breeze, one that both heats and cools, when suddenly my mind wandered off without me… I am a storyteller O’ I am a storyteller O’ I am a…

About 0330 hours, twenty years ago, extremely drunk and feeling hopeless, I walked out into an open field, placed a 40 caliber revolver in my mouth, said a prayer for forgiveness, took a deep breath, let it out, and squeezed the trigger. Nothing happened. A friend had found me and grabbed the gun, placing the…

My Cousin Elmo says, “Some guy tried to tell that Jesus would have practiced social distancing. Burst his bubble when I reminded him that Jesus touched lepers.”

Work at times has been hard to find, and travel necessitated to find and make it a reality. That is the way of the world. It was late because I started late, so I pulled off the side of the road, down a dirt road to the side of a creek. I had only a…