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The Gospel According to Saint Bernie
And His Apostle of Common Sense It was a spectacle of democracy, or at least the latest attempt at it, when Vermont’s firebrand, Sen. Bernie Sanders, descended upon North Las Vegas with his faithful disciple, New York Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Together, they preached the old-time religion of the common folk against the golden idols of…
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Where the Gas Still Burned
The kitchen smelled of spilled beer and old tobacco. My grandfather sat at the table, a chipped mug in his hands, staring at nothing. I had asked him about the war. He didn’t speak right away. Instead, he coughed—a deep, rattling cough that seemed to start in his stomach and claw its way up his…
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The Art of the Skim, Or
The Fine Craft of Wage Theft If there’s one thing the great state of Nevada knows how to do, it’s separate a man from his money. From the clinking roulette wheels of Reno to the dusty poker tables in small-town saloons, fortune has always been a fickle friend in these parts. But now, thanks to…
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A Fool and His Money
Nevada’s Costly Year in Fraud Nevada consumers, ever the trusting sort, managed to part ways with more than $138 million in 2024, a generous donation to the ever-thriving industry of fraud, says the Federal Trade Commission. The FTC, that diligent guardian of the public purse–or at least an observer of its depletion–received a staggering 24,331…
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Nevada’s Firefighters Work for Free!
State Auditors Discover Millions Left on the Table Upon finding themselves overcharged by so much as a penny, there is a particular breed that will summon forth all the righteous indignation of a tax collector on Judgment Day. And then, there are the fine stewards of Nevada’s Division of Forestry, who, according to a recent…
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Nevada Lawmakers Consider Magic Mushrooms to Cure What Ails ‘Em
Well, it seems that Nevada’s esteemed legislators, having exhausted all conventional remedies for the state’s rampant mental maladies, have turned their hopeful eyes toward a most unconventional cure—magic mushrooms. Yes, dear reader, the fungi that once inspired beatniks to gaze at their own hands for hours are now the subject of serious political discourse. The…
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A Bill to Teach Policemen That All Men Ain’t the Same
In Carson City, lawmakers have proposed teaching the police that not all individuals walk, talk, or think alike, which they believe is a significant revelation deserving four hours of instruction. Senate Bill 380, should it become law, would require peace officers to receive instruction on the delicate art of recognizing and addressing those of our…
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A Noble Fight for the Right to Chase a Ball with a Stick
The great and noble sport of lacrosse—known to its practitioners as a game of skill, speed, and bruised shins—has long been played by the youth of Nevada, though you would hardly know it from glancing at the official state-sanctioned sports. There, one finds football, where the players crash into one another with the enthusiasm of…
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A Bill to Make Hotel Maids Mighty Again, Or
At Least Busier What distinguishes the great state of Nevada from others is the understanding that a man should be able to wake up in a luxurious hotel, venture downstairs to gamble in peace, and then return to find his bed made, fresh towels provided, and all traces of previous activities discreetly cleaned away by…
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One Price
We were on patrol, moving along the narrow path near Cerro El Pital. The jungle was thick, and the air was close. There was a stream, not much more than a trickle. It was ankle-deep, fifteen feet across. We crossed and came up behind a hut. The Skipper signaled to stop. He crouched and called…