Fellow Shoots at Angels with a Flashlight

In Gardnerville the other evening, a gentleman undertook to improve modern medicine by blinding it.

It was about 9:10 p.m. when a medical helicopter, one of those noisy angels that descend with mercy and a bill, reported that a blue beam from the earth had taken a personal dislike to it. The pilot, being a practical sort, did not suppose the stars had grown opinionated, and so he called the sheriff.

Deputies arrived along Pinenut Road and found the angel still in orbit and still under fire. Presently, they discovered, not a rival aviation enterprise nor a foreign power, but a Chevrolet Silverado parked roadside, as calm and innocent as a cow in church. Inside sat Mr. Jakob Green, armed with a blue laser and the confidence of a man who has mistaken a bad idea for a hobby.

The investigation revealed, by the ancient and reliable method of asking, that Mr. Green was intentionally aiming his beam at the helicopter. One admires the efficiency. In an age where great bureaucracies struggle to hit their targets with billions of dollars, a single citizen managed to harass a flying hospital with something that costs less than a steak dinner.

Now, it has long been my observation that liberty is a fine horse, but it requires a rider who knows the difference between “may” and “ought.” We permit a man to own a pickup, a laser, and even an opinion; we do not, as a rule, encourage him to combine them into an air-defense system against emergency care.

That is not tyranny speaking. That is common sense, which has lately been forced to travel under an alias.

The deputies, being humorless about such innovations, arrested Mr. Green for directing a laser at an aircraft. They also found he carried an outstanding felony warrant for stalking and harassment, suggesting that the helicopter was not his first attempt at making unwanted introductions.

He got conveyed to the Minden Jail, where the lighting is steady, the targets are stationary, and no one much appreciates experiments.

Thus concludes a small American tale of a flying machine built to save lives, meeting a man determined to test its reflexes with a blue dot. One hopes the courts will teach him what the pilot already knows, that shining lights at angels is poor policy, especially when they are working.