Nevada DMV Loosens Its Corset

By a Disbelievin’ Observer of Modern Wonders

Well, now, would you believe it? The highfalutin’ Nevada Department of Motor Vehicles—known far and wide as the bastion of long lines and stern looks—has finally opened the doors of the Internet to the proud owners of yesteryear’s iron steeds. That’s right–folks can now renew their classic car plates right from the comfort of their rockin’ chair, using somethin’ called the MyDMV portal, which is a kind of electronic post office for people who ain’t got time to line up behind twelve other souls and a fellow tryin’ to title a go-kart.

“This enhancement is a big milestone for the DMV,” said Director Tonya Laney, with all the pride of a schoolmarm whose class just recited the Gettysburg Address backward and in Latin. “We’re givin’ the people what they want,” she said, meanin’ less standin’ in stuffy government rooms and more clickin’ and tappin’ from home.

That sounds mighty fine.

Before you go thinkin’ this is some free-for-all, hold your hosses. Online blessings only apply to classic, old-timers, and classic rods—vehicles with more character and chrome than a pawn shop. The DMV still insists that these wheeled antiques be insured, and they best not be gallivantin’ more than 5,000 miles a year, or they’ll find themselves back in line quicker than you can say “Model T.”

“We are excited,” said Laney, with a grin I can only assume was real, “that our customers with this plate now get the option of online renewals.”

Well, bless their hearts. The times are a-changin’–and if the DMV can shed its molasses pace and step into the modern age, maybe there’s hope for us all. So pour a cup of Sassafras tea, tip your hat to the new century, and give your old roadster a loving pat.