Rosen’s Latest Brainstorm Aims to Muzzle Billionaires, Fiddle with the Constitution, and Fix Everything (Again)

Well now, it seems Senator Jacky Rosen—bless her ambitions and damn her judgment—has taken it upon herself to rescue the Republic from the clutches of Citizens United, that Supreme Court decision which, in her mind, turned every corporation into a cigar-chomping robber baron and every political donor into a demon with gold teeth and bottomless pockets.

The good Senator has introduced what she calls the “Democracy for All Amendment,” which sounds like something a schoolchild would scribble on a protest sign while standing outside a coumty courthouse with a juice box and a vague sense of injustice. The amendment, in theory, would overturn Citizens United and, for good measure, throw a lasso around any other judicial ruling that dared let folks spend their money telling other folks what to think.

Rosen assures that it’s all in the service of The People—those poor, plain souls she’s fond of when it’s time to campaign but somewhat forgetful of come budget season. She says, “billionaires like Elon Musk have been pouring unlimited amounts of dark money in an effort to influence elections.”

It’s reckoned that if Musk bought a coffee in Washington, she’d accuse the beans of being politically compromised.

But let us pause and examine the machinery here. Anything Rosen touches generally turns to fertilizer—and not the good kind, mind you.

It isn’t some high-minded crusade against corruption; it’s a knee-jerk reaction to Musk, plain and simple. The man sneezes, and half of Washington runs for cover while the other half writes legislation.

Her proposal won’t pass, of course. Constitutional amendments are about as easy to push through Congress as a greased pig through a keyhole.

But that ain’t the point. The point is to appear noble while doing nothing, to shout “Democracy!” while changing the subject from anything that actually might require effort or cost Rosen a donor.

So here we are–another show, another curtain call, another speech on the evils of money delivered by a politician who never once ran a campaign with a bake sale and some good intentions. If it weren’t so transparently cynical, it might be funny.

And if it weren’t so common, it might even be news.