It appears the good people of Las Vegas have finally caught themselves a genuine villain, a man of mischief and malice, who took it upon himself to set fire to automobiles in the dead of night as if he were some outlaw poet raging against the modern world.
Paul Hyon Kim, aged 36, was hauled in by the law on Wednesday, charged with arson, destruction of property, and possessing an explosive device—which, in basic terms, means he made a real mess of things.
The whole debacle unfolded at an establishment devoted to mending and tending to Tesla automobiles, located on West Badura Avenue, where the blaze broke out on March 18 at an ungodly hour. Authorities claim Mr. Kim did not content himself with merely igniting the place.
He saw fit to pelt vehicles with what police delicately refer to as “incendiary devices,” which is a highfalutin way of saying Molotov cocktails—and then proceeded to introduce them to the business end of a firearm for good measure. Five vehicles were damaged, with two utterly consumed by the flames, as if perdition had come calling.
Now, in the way of all men who wish to lend an air of nobility to their vandalism, Mr. Kim saw fit to scrawl the word “RESIST” on the front doors of the establishment, no doubt believing himself a revolutionary of some grand cause. Authorities did not share his romantic notion and promptly carted him off to a holding cell to contemplate his life choices.
Even before an arrest, none other than Tesla overlord Elon Musk pronounced the attack an act of “terrorism,” setting off a hullabaloo of political speculation, with some suggesting the nefarious hand of the “woke left” was at work. According to Clark County records, Mr. Kim holds no particular allegiance to any political tribe, being a registered nonpartisan—meaning he likely vexes all sides equally.
Meanwhile, the Tesla brand appears to be suffering a rash of incendiary enthusiasm, with similar mischief occurring in Austin, Texas, and Kansas City, Missouri, where another Tesla facility met with an impromptu bonfire. Insurance folks have taken notice, of course, for whenever calamity strikes, you can rest assured that actuarial minds are at work tallying the cost.
Despite all this, Tesla owners in Reno remain largely unperturbed, secure in knowing that their vehicles, ever-watchful with their built-in recording cameras, stand ready to bear witness should any scoundrel take a fancy to mischief.
Law officers, ever the voice of reason, advise vigilance but not hysteria—an outlook which, one might argue, would do many a person some good in these peculiar times.
And so, dear reader, we conclude this tale of fire and folly.
Mr. Kim awaits his day in court, Teslas remains both beloved and bedeviled, and the world, as ever, continues to spin in its mad and mysterious way.
The Old Blog in the Desert 
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